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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That anyone can provide a decent home education for their child

226 replies

akaemmafrost · 17/02/2013 20:06

If they are inclined to?

I have no choice but to HE ds, he has multiple SN and is unable to function in any of our local schools.

Every single time I tell someone I get Shock Hmm or a mixture of both. Nine times out of ten I am asked if I am a teacher? No, I am not.

With access to a library and Internet AIBU to believe that anyone who is inclined to do so can provide a decent Home Education for their child?

I've been thinking about this for quite a while now, why the shock, judgement and sometimes downright horror whenever I tell anyone I HE? Is it really so scary and unbelievable that I can provide this to ds without being formally trained?

It seems to provoke incredibly strong opinions, even from complete strangers, which they feel they must strenuously share with me usually. So just wondering really as I can never really ask them.

OP posts:
portraitoftheartist · 17/02/2013 20:42

I think most people assume that Home educating parents need to be teachers because they need to be achieving 10 GCSEs and 4 A levels. Home ed. children generally seem to just do what other children do in their holidays, not formal lessons and few if any exams.

bluemintygel · 17/02/2013 20:43

Nooooooooo it would drive me insane. I don't have the patience or motivation. It would be far too tempting to stick them in front of TV for hours whilst I did more interesting things.

Also DD is too stubborn with me, but is easily intimidated by other adults.

givemeaclue · 17/02/2013 20:43

I lack the skills and expertise. I don't believe anyone could be a good teacher with the library and internt., it takes more than access to information to teach and I wonder how my kids would do in exams taught by me compared to teachers , not very well I don't think. I wouldn't be suited to it and my dcs education would be sub standard. They will do better with professionals.

Patchouli · 17/02/2013 20:44

I'd like to have the finances to HE the way I'd like to.
But can't see how it's possible for me to do it as I'd like on the budget I'd have.

givemeaclue · 17/02/2013 20:44

Do home educated children tend to go to uni? If not , what do they do?

MrsDeVere · 17/02/2013 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsbunnylove · 17/02/2013 20:47

work your way through the home ed. it will be fine.

discrete · 17/02/2013 20:48

"But again as a fully qualified teacher who understands the years it takes to become expert enough in one subject to even do GCSEs justice, I'm interested to hear how anybody can ensure that their child receives high quality tuition in maths, English language/literature, sciences and perhaps a foreign language, humanity subject etc?"

Natwebb have you seen the GCSE syllabus these days? A monkey with an eyepatch could do it with one hand tied behind its back.

The fact is that one-on-one tuition is massively more effective than anything that can be delivered in a group setting.

Being a teacher is tough. It involves dealing with a large group of children who do not give a fuck what you think about them and do not want to be there, and trying to get them to sit still and concentrate without any real motivation or incentive to do so. And these are children who, in general, the teacher has no emotional connection of any kind with.

As a HEer you do not have to deal with that. These are two people who love each other, working together to learn stuff. Provided the teacher has patience, self discipline and motivation, it is incredibly easy.

Of course, the vast majority of us do not have any of the three above. But for those who do, it's perfectly feasible.

(and even if as an adult you do not have the level to get them to A level standard in a particular subject, a couple of hours a week with a textbook in said subject for a year beforehand will get you there. After all, if a not very motivated teenager can get there, wtf would a motivated adult not be able to?)

PrettyKitty1986 · 17/02/2013 20:51

No, I think the majority of people would struggle hugely to provide anything nearing a decent secondary level education. My understanding is that lots of children go into the school system at secondary level, which seems a little strange really...why bother he at all?

AnameIcouldnotthinkof · 17/02/2013 20:53

I personally couldn't do it. However I admire anyone who can and if I thought for a second I could do it I would. But I would find it hard to be patient with them all day everyday.
I would also worry about their social skills and making friends ect. and the maths

crazyforbaby · 17/02/2013 21:00

Yes, Yes, R.Tired. I have just spent an hour trying to help my 13 yr old study for a school French test taking place next week. She does not like French- it is one of the few subjects I can help with. It took me 20 mins to persuade her to sit down with me away from the distractions of the phone, the computer etc while she wailed that there was a new One Direction clip on YouTube that she HAD to watch. I bit my tongue and explained levelly that as she wanted to go to the Mall later, that this was her last chance for us to get together. She grabbed the 4 pages of vocab off me, looked at it once, then thrust it back at me and then flopped across the sofa saying she was exhausted. The 10 mins we spent going through the sentences were interspersed with her moanin and bitchin to her younger brothers and sisters that this was cruelty and that I had ruined her weekend. We got to the end if the page with her being both sulky and dramatic, with heavy sighs and stamping of feet when I called her back so that we could mark the work together and review it. She managed to get one more comment out to the 7 yr old that she was being forced to work or that I would go ballistic with her if she didn't get a perfect score ( I would be happy with a PASS), before I escaped out for a cup of tea and to bang my head against the wall. HE...you are having a laugh, right?!? Nat, I am in awe of the work you do - THANK GOD it is not me that has to do this day in day out!

Softlysoftly · 17/02/2013 21:00

Can you do formal exams as a he child? If they decided to go into medicine at say age 17 would they have the ability to then go to uni? Can you he uni level? ?

WorraLiberty · 17/02/2013 21:02

As a HEer you do not have to deal with that. These are two people who love each other, working together to learn stuff. Provided the teacher has patience, self discipline and motivation, it is incredibly easy.

Haha! And as long as the pupil isn't a stroppy teenager...

natwebb79 · 17/02/2013 21:05

How can a child decide at age 11 that they definitely want to go into a trade rather than any profession that requires decent academic grades? And as for 'getting A tutor in', my point is that you would need a tutor for each subject because you need to be qualified and experienced in that particular subject in order to deliver the goods. So surely at around £30/hour per subject that is going to cost a small fortune?

nenevomito · 17/02/2013 21:05

Well yes I could Home ed my children, I'm reasonably bright and have a teaching qualification But to be honest its not something that I would ever want to do even if finances allowed. I'd rather send my children off into mainstream education.

I'm not against home ed - horses for courses and all that, but its not something I want to do.

nenevomito · 17/02/2013 21:06

I also don't believe that everyone could home ed their children. I think there are people out there who would find it beyond their skills to do it.

discrete · 17/02/2013 21:06

"Can you do formal exams as a he child? If they decided to go into medicine at say age 17 would they have the ability to then go to uni?"

Yes, you can do formal exams as a he, and many he children go on to uni in any number of subjects.

Many unis will not require the same number of formal exams from he children than children from within the schooling system either, but they may need to establish that they have the level required in some other way.

mathanxiety · 17/02/2013 21:11

The people I know who did it well were educated in American universities where there is a broad curriculum (you don't just study English Lit for instance to come out with a degree in English Lit) and parents could tackle algebra, trig and beyond, secondary level sciences as well as history, literature, and even a mfl (or two). The DCs knew several HE teens in their high school. They were the children taking the very advanced maths classes and ending up doing courses like medical engineering before they hit university -- they all tended to go on to really good universities.

BoringSchoolChoiceNickname · 17/02/2013 21:11

YABU, loads of people don't have the emotional resources to manage the hothouse that HE can be, or the social capital/connections/know-how to access the stuff that's needed to enable a child to learn the stuff that's beyond them, or the finances to manage without 6 hours free childcare during term time. And some are so bigoted that they can only give their child a very limited view of the world.

You don't need a PGCE, but that doesn't mean that everyone can do it competently.

TheFallenMadonna · 17/02/2013 21:11

I'm a teacher, and I think up to GCSE level would be fine, providing you were very proactive in ensuring familiarity with the qualification, and intelligent enough to become familiar with it (I think the majority of people would be).

And assuming you were doing GCSEs at all.

A level I think would be different.

Teaching is quite a different thing. That's presumably one of the reasons people home ed!

soverylucky · 17/02/2013 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

difficultpickle · 17/02/2013 21:12

Even if I could afford to I couldn't HE ds at secondary school age as I doubt he would learn enough to go on to uni (assuming he wanted to go to uni). I am university educated and professionally qualified but if for example he wanted to do maths A level I would seriously struggle. My main concern is not that I couldn't teach him from textbooks but that I wouldn't be able to debate issues with him as I simply wouldn't have the knowledge.

formallyknownasloveydarling · 17/02/2013 21:16

I can't because it is illegal in my country.

crazyforbaby · 17/02/2013 21:17

DD is all sweetness and light now that the French has been stuffed back into her binder. Her recent report card was full of lovely comments abt her ability and her BEHAVIOUR from the saints, sorry teachers, at her HighSchool (here in Canada).
Have told DH to bring a shield and a tin hat home with him, as I want to spend 5 more minutes recapping the French after tea. Why does DD say that I morph into Atilla the Hun whenever I bring up the subject of homework?? This is the first time she has got a book out all weekend

MrsBradleyJames · 17/02/2013 21:17

As a society we are all very well institutionalised to school so it is hard to get some people to see outside the box. But in your son's case, clearly his education in school would be nil, so HE is 100 per cent better anyway, isnt it!
We are also conditioned to think that a general education is what all children need. 7 or 8 subjects at a certain level. Well there are other ways of living your life and other ways of children being educated. For many people whose children will come out with 8 good gcse's, that is great and of course no one would dislike that. But for many children who dont fit the norm, for a myriad of reasons, then a unique and tailored education facilitated by those who know and love them best - what could be better?