To be pissed off with parents who believe all rules should be bent for their little darlings?

[IAmLouisWalsh]

I am a teacher. In the last few weeks I have been told that some children in my school are allergic to their school uniform, suffer with extreme cold and so need to wear coats in class, have to keep jewellery on because it is sentimental, should be allowed to use staffroom facilities to microwave their own lunch....don't even start me on phones.

DH works with much older DCs - adults, essentially - and has put up with a whole range of shite from parents recently too, making excuses for why their (fully grown) offspring should take precedence over the needs of every one else.

Of the last 20 tales we have been told between us, I reckon 1 is true, 1 is half true and the rest are absolute bollocks.

Either front up and be honest about trying to bend the rules, or just fucking accept it.

That's a fair point Gangly, unfortunately!

Parents at my school come in two categories. The ones that will provide proper snowboots and wellies with fleece socks or the ones that will provide nothing at all.

The ones that really annoy me are the ones that complain about their lost, unnamed jumpers, but think that naming them doesn't matter because of the tiny tear in the label, or the stain on the right inside cuff

I y

Oops! I recently told a 7 year off for not getting a pencil and starting his work (he had sat for ten mins waiting for me to be his maid to get him one).
The next day he was late to school as his dad had taken him to the GP's for a hearing test. And guess what? He couldn't have heard the instruction because he has wax in his ears so therefore I was DISGRACEFUL to have told him off and I should apologise.

What about the parents who think you should be able to find an unnamed jumper because of the smell?!

Does that seriously happen mushroom?

With the coat thing wouldn't it equally in force the no designer label thing is a uniform coat ( plain colour school badge on it) included as part of the uniform?

When I was at high school and working as a freelance illustrator I used to get breifs faxed to the school fax machine.

(Faxes! I am ancient!)

It's good for schools to put rules in place that cover the minor things like coats, shoes, hair colour etc... as teenagers will push every boundary set.

I would love to see the dc of these pampering parents when they get their first job and they turn in late/out of uniform/mouth off.

when ds was in primary school there was an unexpectedly warm afternoon where the class was allowed to take off school jumpers. It was quickly discovered that most some children didnt have the ridiculously overpriced school polo shirts on underneath with the school logo on and just had on ordinary polo shirts.
Teacher insisted jumpers had to be put back on to hide the cheap offending polo shirts.
Cue a playground full of red-faced sweating kids at hometime gagging for a drink. I was furious and so were a lot of other mums. It made no sense . Poor kids feeling hot and bothered in that classroom all afternoon.

Created a lot of bad feeling

My kids are not at school yet. I have only joined this thread to say that PLEASE will somebody come up with another name than 'little Johnny' when they're talking about an imaginary pupil. Either that or a posh one called 'Little Tarquin'. It's always the same name and it drives me insane.

I'm sure I will be the model of the laissez faire parent when my kids start school, as long as the teachers understand that DD1 is very sensitive and doesn't like being told off at all, so to avoid the future need for therapy, we ask that she is merely gently advised to stop whatever naughty thing she's doing.

plantsitter please say you are taking the piss

When my older kids were teens and all their group started to get sat and holiday jobs we could pick out the ones who couldn't keep their jobs because they were constantly late/lazy/entitled and couldn't take adults reading them.

Yes it was the ones whose parents were constantly in school complaining about horrible teachers and how really nice little shitty was but just misunderstood/sensitive/ hot/cold/tired.

Made us laugh.

Well it would be nice if teachers (not all I know) actually listened to the children and didn't override their genuine concerns or brow beat them into doing something that is for the teacher's convenience and not the child's.

Genuine as in real / proper concerns such as bullying not cutting up fruit. I wouldn't expect a 6 y.o. boy whose gone to tell his teacher that 3 boys turned round in a football game to kick him a kicking to be brow beaten into saying it was "a game gone wrong" and then try the same tactic on the parents.

As for cutting up fruit my dc have been doing that themselves as well as making their own packed lunch from an early age. Parents, as well as teachers, don't want to be waiters / waitresses the entire time

I have found this thread hugely entertaining!

In no way did OP say anything against children with SN, so with that aside...

I think it is hilarious what stuff parents come up with! I have a friend in the playground both DCs nearly 5... (her dd has no sn)

She asked the school to monitor her dds eating in school and feed her if necessary because otherwise her dd wouldn't eat!
When I said she was balmy and teachers had better things to do than feed her dd she almost bit my head off. Apparently she spoon feeds dd in the mornings!

That kid is going to end up being so high maintenance it is untrue!

She has also given other unreasonable demands such as have her dd kept in at lunch because the previous night dd had a runny nose! FFS.. And she wonders why the medical room staff roll their eyes when she walks their way! I tend to only talk to her outside the playground.

Clearly too many start primary kids not being able to feed themselves, go to the loo or do up coats. They are prob the same ones whose parents contact me on a regular basis to say darling has a headache so will not be in today and could I explain in detail why they are not predicted an A for their university offer. Surely this overprotection will lead to mental health issues in the long term.

I will ask my mum to call the Head on Monday to say that I am feeling poorly.

I think you are right that people expect the rules not to be for them but also some schools need to realise when they make unrealistic rules theres going to be problems :-

eg - only regulation book bags as we have a special drawer and nothing else fits (but we only sell them between 3-15 and 3.45 on a wed and only the wed before the holidays- what do you mean you cant get in on a wednesday?)
no peanut butter sandwiches because of potential allergies but also no chocolate spread as sometimes that has nuts, no crisps on a wednesday, no chocolate at all but you can have a chocolate biscuit? - so yes to a kit kat but no to a small pack of buttons.
no boots ever even if the weather is crap.
no socks that reach over the knee (apparently thats Brittany Spears fault)
no using the bins - I kid you not, all empty yogurt pots, apple cores, sandwich wrapper must be taken home - after sloshing about in a lunch box for a few hours.

My DS1 has just started primary school (Australia, the school year starts in Feb) and he takes in a packed lunch and water bottle, as he did for preschool. But they don't let him drink from his water bottle, they want him to use the water fountains (bubblers) in the loos. Why? What earthly reason do they have for this? Apart from anything else (ok, a bit PFB but...) the children at this age put their whole mouths over the nozzles and so pass on all germs - is it a "weeding out" thing? Let them all catch each others' germs in the first week?

DS1's friend from pre-school has been off sick for nearly a week with a cold/cough; DS1 has a mild cough and possibly has passed it to me since I have a cold now too, which I'm trying to protect DS2 from (he's 4mo) - and yet there is a move here to ban blowing out birthday candles on cake that is to be shared at school because it spreads germs. I'd sooner ban the bloody water fountain bubblers and let them drink from their bottle!

I expect there is a perfectly good reason for this and IABU but could someone explain it to me please?

TheDisorganiser My DS has also just started Prep (Oz). That might explain why he has had a cold and conjunctivitus in the last 2 weeks.

TheDisorganiser - I'm a teacher in Australia. At our school we encourage students to keep a bottle of water (refillable one, not a purchased one) which they can sip from whenever they want and refill from the taps. It might be worth approaching the school and trying to get this implemented. I think children (and adults!) should have access to water whenever they need it. The only rules about it we have are that they have to be all in one (no separate caps to get lost) and they can't fill up during class time, only before school, morning tea, lunch.

Middleeasternpromise - the no garbage thing is because having bins full of food waste can encourage vermin. Budget cuts mean the cleaners don't come in and empty the bins every day anymore, so you don't want food sitting there for a day or so encouraging mice. We've also got a whole of school campaign to reduce rubbish/encourage recycling, so we ask that everything is sent in reusable containers that the students can take home with them and wash and reuse.

We were told that half eater sandwiches and banana skins came home so that parents could see how much had been eaten. The habit has stuck, so I am always pulling half a soggy biscuit out of the bottom of backpacks, pockets, washing machine...

Mrs De Vere
I am an eczema sufferer, both my kids have eczema and I'm a teacher. No eye rolling here!
There is a huge difference between parents acting like their kids are above rules and those who suffer with an awful condition like eczema. Teachers should ensure they don't make those students suffer. Grrr! (At such staff!)

The school uniform thing If they're genuinely allergic obviously rules should be bent.

The rest of it YANBU and i would struggle to not tell them to do one.

Midnitescribbler - yes, that makes perfect sense to do what your school does, I can't imagine why DS1's does it the way they do! I plan on going to the P&C meetings and, um, making the suggestion quite strongly. A friend of mine has the "trouble" child in the class - allergies, both eczematous and anaphylactic, plus he has communication issues. I've already advocated for her at the first P&C meeting, thus getting my face "in the picture", iyswim. I hope I can make a difference re. the water though because apart from anything else, I like to keep an eye on how much DS1 drinks in a day because he has a tendency to forget, and that will of course affect his concentration.

Cadlecrap - yep, I'd say so!

I agree with you there TheDisorganiser. I don't think there's any valid reason for restricting water intake for children. Adults can generally go and get a glass of water anytime they feel like it, but we expect children to go sometimes two hours without any opportunity to drink it.

I work in the out-patients department of a hospital and the amount of parents I get phoning up wanting to know about their adult children's test results, appointments etc. Unless they are the next of kin, I cannot divulge that. Some of them get really shirty with me "Oh but Felicity can't possibly ring you, she's away at university". Well tough, Felicity is 20 years old so will have to make time