To be pissed off with parents who believe all rules should be bent for their little darlings?

[IAmLouisWalsh]

I am a teacher. In the last few weeks I have been told that some children in my school are allergic to their school uniform, suffer with extreme cold and so need to wear coats in class, have to keep jewellery on because it is sentimental, should be allowed to use staffroom facilities to microwave their own lunch....don't even start me on phones.

DH works with much older DCs - adults, essentially - and has put up with a whole range of shite from parents recently too, making excuses for why their (fully grown) offspring should take precedence over the needs of every one else.

Of the last 20 tales we have been told between us, I reckon 1 is true, 1 is half true and the rest are absolute bollocks.

Either front up and be honest about trying to bend the rules, or just fucking accept it.

[DomesticCEO]

I taught Y 5/6 for some years and the difficult parents were definitely one of the hardest things about the job - especially those who believed their children could do no wrong and would come and tell you off for telling their children off - generally in front of their children.

It's definitely a modern problem and its definitely getting much much worse.

[doublecakeplease]

I teach in FE ~rang the Mum of a student in my tutor group to explain that she'd had a disciplinary and had been put on report. She'd punched a boy in the head in class (not mine) and shoved a teacher as she was storming from the classroom.

Mum tried to tell me that dd was easily lead, was tired and probably had PMT and that putting her on report would embarrass her...

[Moominsarehippos]

When I was at school, you woulkd rather die than be singled out for any treatment - not having to wear uniform, being yoiked out of assembly, not being able to watch a health ed video...

Nowadays everyone seems hell-bent on being 'spesshial'. Everything has a sodding label or 'name' (sorry, but Freddie can't write with a blue pen because he has indigoitus syndrom, which is very rare - also unreported - and he can die I'd he sees the colour blue). We need to accommodate needs but not wants.

[Floggingmolly]

herladyship. Who knew or cared that you spent £19 on a school shirt? . Not trying to be rude, but I don't see the issue?

[ByTheWay1]

I have 2 girls and am a parent (and a dinner lady, so work at my youngest's school)

Generally I would back up the school 100% - but they are a bit up themselves sometimes - they had a water activities day for which parents had to send a change of clothing (we sent 2 - 2 activities, 2 chances of getting wet) her boat capsized, she got hypothermia because "the rules" were they couldn't get changed between activities.... and sailing was in the morning...

That rule has changed now....

[DowntonTrout]

But Moomin my DD might die rather than be singled out. I was always a bit about letters home from school when someone has a nut allergy. I used to think that if they didn't physically eat the nuts themselves how could they come to any harm

FWIW we don't have a label yet for allergic to new clothes

[Bluestocking]

OMG, IAmLouisWalsh, I had a student's mum insisting that she had to accompany diddums daughter to an appointment with me because diddums had found me "intimidating" on the phone! Presumably because anyone who doesn't coo, chuck diddums under the chin and accommodate her every whim is just too too unbearable. I can assure you I had been the soul of courtesy to this young woman - I just hadn't agreed with her!

[Moominsarehippos]

Oh I know - there are genuine reasons why a child needs to be 'singled out' and the school/parents need to do it in an appropriate way, so that the child doesn't have to contend with teasing/bitchy comments etc as well as an allergy/pain etc. I think that there are more/more severe aggergies around these days.

It does seem though that every other child has some need or other. Not sure if its just the 'me' generation, or parents working themselves to death being too tired/busy to argue with the child ("get that coat on now and get to school").

We did have a child who 'needed' to have gel in his hair, as it was his 'style' (the good old Hoxton/th Fin). He was about 7 and looked a bit of a prat actually.

[Buzzardbird]

We have a dispute with tenants leaving our house in a right state, damage, destroyed property and dog shit everywhere. The mother of the tenant (who is in her 20's Ffs) has forbid us to talk or write directly to tenant as it is upsetting her! What a brilliant life skill she has taught that woman!
who will protect her from reality when her parents die?

[BattlingFanjos]

I am a parent and have a 5yo DS. He started reception in Sept. We have lovely teachers (2 that jobshare) and several wonderful TAs. The only issues we have all come across is DS trying to manipulate us all, playing us off against each other. We talk about it, show DS a united front and make it clear we know exactly what he's doing (evil laugh!). Unless there was a serious issue (and i am very confident i would be listened to) I would not be making daft requests such as those in the OP (uniform excluded if there was a problem). Why would I want to exclude him from the other kids? The main focus for me sending him to school is to teach him how to socialise, respect other people, to understand he is not better than anyone else, to learn how to interact. It baffles me that some parents want to take that away from their DC it's such a shame. Parents and teachers should work together in making sure this happens. I said it before on another thread, these people are almost co-parenting my child for 6 hours a day, is it not better to work together? (confused) i'm very lucky they are such lovely, approachable, normal people I guess

[BattlingFanjos]

Buzzatd thats priceless. I can just imagine my mum's face if I had asked her to call my landlord and say that! Think I'd have heard something along the lines of "Fuck right off"

[Chottie]

Having had children who are now through the education system, I am finding some of these posts unbelievable, I thought it was a parents responsibility to support and help their child to become a fully independent adult.

I did not attend one university open day with either of my children, I know of no other parent who did either.

My DC both had bank accounts from the age of 16 and credit cards from the age of 18. I gave advice (when requested!) but I expected them to manage their money. I taught them both to cook, wash, iron and understand the transport systems so they could be independent.

I had my first Saturday job at 15 and I sorted it out myself, I would have been embarrassed if my mother had been ringing up (!)

[DowntonTrout]

And did the tennant not find living in a filthy house with dog poo everywhere upsetting? Ha. That would worry me more if it was my DD. I would tell her so and make her clean it up.

[Pricklypickup]

I phoned my dc's head to say that dc may not be on top form as two days before they were diagnosed with cancer.

Following week deputy head phoned to ask if my dc's infection had cleared up, I said no they don't have an infection they have cancer.

Deputy said "Yes they are telling these lies to the teacher, it is very distressing for the teacher to hear such things, esp when they are untrue".

[manicinsomniac]

pricklypickup that is insanely bad, did you make an official complaint? Seriously, one of the nastiest attitudes I've ever heard from a school. And I can't imagine how hard it must be having two children with cancer at once. I hope they and you are doing ok.

In general though OP, YANBU

[Pricklypickup]

Sorry only one child with cancer. Just was avoiding their gender.

Dc asked me not to make a fuss, just asked if we could arrange at end of the school year we could remove them. Which of course we agreed to.

[CaptainVonTrapp]

Horrified at some of the parents described on here.

But I do feel that some of the teachers on here sound a bit immune to the fact that children are individuals and may have differing needs.

There is a balance between blindly following rules and 'pandering' to individual wants.

Why can't the child wear a coat OP if they're cold? Do you think thats not true and theres another reason for keeping a coat on?

[manicinsomniac]

oh, sorry prickly Still outrageous though. Hope your dc settles at the new school.

[manicinsomniac]

Captain I agree about the coats actually. My school has a no coats, hats, gloves, scarves etc inside rule but sometimes I think my classroom is cold. Granted I feel the cold really badly but I sometimes wear a coat in there so I would feel hypocritical if I made the children take them off. I try to weigh up the temperature/likelihood of SMT coming round and then decide whether I would rather freeze myself and make everyone follow the rules or risk it, keep my coat on and let them do the same.

[GanglyGiraffe]

The parent of one of my little darlings (yr1) was up in arms because I wouldn't let them have a flask of herbal tea in the classroom She had a cold and needed it apparently.

She went to the Head and everything! Gave everyone a good laugh in the staffroom at lunch time though

[IAmLouisWalsh]

If the classroom is very cold I have no problem with keeping coats on. If it isn't, and only one child is affected, I have an itchy chin. Especially when the 'coat' is a trackie top. I offer the loan of a school jumper or a move to the front, next to the heater. Seems to clear the problem up.

As I have said before, I teach secondary. I dare say I would be a bit nicer if I was dealing with infants.

My other issue is parents withi built in lie-detectors. Fr example, I see and hear X tell a teacher to fuck off. When I get the parents in, they insist they have asked X, X says it wasn't them, and they believe X. X never lies. I am just making it up because I don't like X.

Actually, I don't much like X because she keeps telling my colleagues to fuck off...

[jamdonut]

Going waaaaay back to the microwave situation...our lunchtime is 45 minutes. If we are very ,very lucky,staff get half an hour (though usually about 20 minutes). There is already a queue for the microwave in our staffroom. If we had to accommodate children as well...!! WE would NEVER get our lunches!!

[ImperialBlether]

Prickly, I'm so sorry to hear about your child. Didn't you contact the school, though, after the diagnosis? Surely it would mean a lot of time off school? Hope your child's had a full recovery.

[elliejjtiny]

I'm at some of these comments, some from parents and some from schools.

I have eczema and needed to wear 100% cotton when at school (it's not that bad now and improves dramatically whenever I'm on the pill, weird). I had to carry a note from my mum explaining why I was wearing a plain black sweatshirt instead of a black v-neck jumper. I wouldn't have been allowed to wear a sweatshirt with a logo or different colour though.

DS2 has hypermobility and is allowed to sit on a chair in class and in assembly. The teachers have been fine with that although they are less keen to take his wheelchair on school trips. I have put my foot down on that though and they will have to find someone to push him from somewhere.

[GanglyGiraffe]

Can I just try and shed some light on the 'blanket rule' situation?

A few years back when we had the first lot of heavy snow, my school had a rule saying that 'only children with wellies are allowed out'.

The next day one of my parents was really annoyed (and rightly so) because at the weekend she had went out and bought an expensive pair of waterproof boots especially for her DD to wear in the snow, for her then not to be allowed outside because they were not wellies.

Sounds like madness right?

However from a Teacher's point of view to go round every child and try to work out who had suitable shoes and who didn't would take forever. Also the children cope better with blanket rules, stops all the- "but Lucy is going out and she doesn't have Wellies!!"- tantrums.

So that is why schools sometimes blanket rules, even though they can seem ridiculous.