Every friendship I have is based upon me making the effort, AIBU to get upset by this?

[obtuseone]

Every friendship that I have is conditional upon me making the bulk of the effort, ie making arrangements, and making contact. Even commenting on Facebook photos and statuses. There have been a few occasions where I've stopped initiating contact in each of those ways and in every single time I've just never heard from the friend again.

It's happening again now with a schoolfriend, whom I've known for around 20 years. She seems to make an effort for lots of other people but not for me. It's always me making contact and suggesting meeting up. I've done her a variety of favours and helped her out a lot but she barely says thanks yet if anyone else does her a favour or she spends time with them she tags them on Facebook and thanks them profusely (yes I know Facebook isn't the be all and end all but she uses it a lot). She takes me for granted. So I've decided to back off a little and see if she makes any effort. Not heard a bean for 3 weeks now, so looks like that friendship will go down the pan too.

AIBU to be highly fed up with it all?

[shewhowines]

And if i knew there was an expectation that I had to be in contact frequently then that would scare me off too. I don't want to feel pressure or feel guilty when being someones friend. It needs to be easy.

[Ilovexmastime]

shewhowines is talking a lot of sense!

This thread has really got me thinking about friendship, thanks OP!