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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what reasons people give for being willing to accept an organ but not donate

593 replies

crashdoll · 13/02/2013 20:20

What the title says really.

I am happy for all my organs to be donated when I'm gone. I'd also accept an organ transplant if I was in that position. I know there are religious reaons for not donating certain organs but I do wonder how people can rationalise not donating organs if they are willing to accept.

OP posts:
FairyJen · 14/02/2013 19:25

kung I would donate to my dp and dc I have said that

ledkr · 14/02/2013 19:25

This thread is going round in circles now, but as I said earlier, I'm open to having my mind changed if anyone has anything new to add.

Clouds. We can't do that but maybe you could just research some of what stops you maybe on the net or your pastor or even speak to someone at the organ register. Not being sarky btw just a genuine suggestion.

CloudsAndTrees · 14/02/2013 19:27

That's hardly the same thing Maryz. And I don't need to make excuses.

Adsss · 14/02/2013 19:27

I believe you may be able to BrianCoxandTheTempleofDoom the only flat out no is for HIV or suspected CJD. ( maybe someone with more knowledge can clairfy. Also on the website is says cryptically..."Yes. The decision about whether some or all organs or tissue are suitable for transplant is always made by a specialist, taking into account your medical history. There may be specific reasons why it has not been possible to donate blood, such as having had a blood transfusion ...."

AThingInYourLife · 14/02/2013 19:28

I don't think I can have any part of a system that allows the evil, selfish bastards of the world take organs from the good.

It's so utterly depraved that I'll take the risk that I might one day need an organ I wouldn't be able to accept rather than be a part of it.

In reality I'll calm down and remember all the good that is done by organ donation.

But I had no idea people could be so casually evil and it has profoundly shaken my belief in humanity.

I feel physically sick that people are willing to abuse the kindness of their fellow humans in such a way.

It's truly shocking.

And to me those people are scum.

TandB · 14/02/2013 19:29

I meant to say, when I was a student I lived near a major transplant hospital. We overlooked a crossroads that was fairly regularly brought to a standstill by police motorbikes clearing the route for an organ to be rushed in to the hospital.

Everyone knew what was happening and people would sometimes stop what they were doing and clap and cheer as the ambulance went past.

It used to make me a bit teary - I was never sure if they were applauding the emergency services or whether they were thinking of someone's sacrifice, but it always seemed like a celebration of someone getting a chance at life.

I've got a lump in my throat just thinking about it.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/02/2013 19:31

This is beyond ridiculous.

Judge away. Judge a person on the basis of one choice. But the poster who says they don't understand why anyone would refuse? Well that's just it, isn't it. You cannot understand what someone else thinks, feels, believes.
Just because it is unbelievable to you, it doesn't make their feelings any less valid.
People are allowed to feel as they do. Not every single person has to have the same feelings, values, beliefs.

Just because its something you or anyone else finds incomprehensible or wrong, doesn't make it wrong to them

CloudsAndTrees · 14/02/2013 19:31

Ledkr, thank you. It is something I have spoken about in RL, quite a lot actually as one of my best friends gave her brother a kidney last year.

For some reason (still not entirely sure what) I wouldn't think twice about being a living kidney donor, and I know all that it entails.

It's the death thing that bothers me.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/02/2013 19:33

This reply has been deleted

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weegiemum · 14/02/2013 19:33

On this thread, though, no-one has actually explained their reservations. It's all "well I wouldn't" but I'm not sure anyone has said anything past the "ick" factor. So why? Why, really, would you deny someone else's child life with something your child no longer needed? Wouldn't your child want someone else to live?

My dc are 9,11,13 but at much younger ages they said they wanted to donate. I'd donate if I could (I can't) and dh would.

I just can't understand (maybe I'm thick) why donating a lump of dead flesh is so hard, especially if you would accept.

Can one of you who thinks they wouldn't please explain why burying a complete body is so important when 3-4 people could have been given life and 2 more the gift of sight? Don't you care?

AThingInYourLife · 14/02/2013 19:34

"I could, possibly, but in doing so I'd make my own husbands grief at the death of his wife even worse. Should I just ignore that completely?"

Yes.

Of course you should.

How can you possibly think otherwise.

How much worse could his grief really be FFS?

So bad that someone else should die to appease him?

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 14/02/2013 19:37

Adss thank you for that - so possibly, most likely 'yes' but they would decide based on medical history.

Ta!

weegiemum · 14/02/2013 19:37

briancox I've been told I can't ever again give blood, bone marrow or organs as I get a monthly infusion of immunoglobulins (a blood by-product) to minimise my neurological illness. I had to sign a form to say I wouldn't sue if I got cjd from it!

ledkr · 14/02/2013 19:37

Don't be confused about having to be related to be a living donor either. My ex h and my dh are both undergoing matching to give dh a kidney. It's possible these days.
Wonderful fantastic selfless men whom I'm lucky to have in my life.

CloudsAndTrees · 14/02/2013 19:39

Can one of you who thinks they wouldn't please explain why burying a complete body is so important when 3-4 people could have been given life and 2 more the gift of sight? Don't you care?

Of course I care.

But I've already explained that for me personally, it's not about burying a complete body. It's about the time between brain death and body death.

FairyJen · 14/02/2013 19:39

Right well I've shown dp this thread we are going to discuss the issue again. ( not tonight tho as its valentines )

We may change our minds we may not but whatever we are NOT scum

AThingInYourLife · 14/02/2013 19:41

No Tantrum, this isn't an issue that can be argued away with moral relativity.

A person whose feelings allow them to accept organs they wouldn't donate does not have a moral position.

It is immoral and hypocritical and it can't be argued otherwise.

Being angry and outspoken on a Internet forum doesn't touch it in terms of which is worse.

A person who will accept the gift of life from the family of someone dying in horrible circumstances knowing they feel it beneath them have ever done the same is morally deficient at a pretty basic level.

I have my faults, but even I am better than that.

CloudsAndTrees · 14/02/2013 19:42

Ledkr, yes, it is wonderful that living donation doesn't have to be done between family. The only thing that puts me off offering my biggest kidney up for it now is that one of my own children or my husband might need it one day.

EauRouge · 14/02/2013 19:44

Fairy, I'm really glad that this thread has caused you to have a re-think.

I agree that either organ donation is OK or it isn't, whether giving or receiving.

SoleSource · 14/02/2013 19:44

I do carry a donor card and would consent to donate my DS organs.

I would be very comforted to.know I have helped others.

weegiemum · 14/02/2013 19:45

But what is it about it?

No one has really explained why they are against it?

And if you are that much against it, then why would you accept something so abhorrent to your beliefs?

Adsss · 14/02/2013 19:46

SoleSource You may not always have your card on you. it's worth the couple of minutes to join the register online .

CloudsAndTrees · 14/02/2013 19:48

I have already explained what makes me uncomfortable about it weegie.

I'm not against it, I just don't feel comfortable with the procedure.

It is not abhorrent to my beliefs.

SoleSource · 14/02/2013 19:49

Yeah I read uptbread about the online register. Will do this,.thank you :)

Perhaps sometimes as people age tbey might see life differently and develop a different viewpoint.

Adsss · 14/02/2013 19:50

Thanks (loving this smiley!)

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