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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to think that the further you are from the world of work, the crazier being a working mum sounds?

999 replies

StripeyBear · 09/02/2013 15:06

I did it for 3 years - motherhood and a (part-time, but) demanding job... when you were always running from pillar to post, and buying take-away pizza, and feeling guilty because your child was crying when you left, and always being tired and hassled and answering your blackberry on your days "off" and being f**ked off because your job wasn't half as interesting as the work you used to get when you were childless and in the office full-time-plus....

Almost 2 years of being a SAHM later, my working-mother-friends come round for coffee on their day off and moan about all of the above.. It sounds familiar, but now even their moaning exhausts me. I'm more in a swapping recipes for lemon-drizzle-cake and making my own pizza dough sort of head space. These days I just potter around - my whole life has slowed down.....

Don't get me wrong - I realise I'm fortunate that we can manage without the wage (and not everyone can), but I find I am barely worse off (once the childcare is taken into account, and it is so much easier to spend money wisely, now that I don't have to buy crappy pizza because I am too exhausted to cook or book my holiday at the last minute because I wasn't organised earlier). And life feels so much better now that I'm not always exhausted... and I actually have time to do interesting stuff like read (grown-up) books... and there is no stress around childcare and the like....

So when my friends come round and moan about their blackberries ringing and being side-lined for promotions and feeling stressed about organising a child's birthday party when they have no time to really do it and so on.... instead of feeling oodles of sympathy... all I can think is... WHY? WHY? Why are you doing it then?

AIBU? I sort of suspect I might be Sad

OP posts:
nevergoogle · 09/02/2013 21:05

What?? Nooooo you di-int! You can't delete me!

Don't you know who I am?

SPBInDisguise · 09/02/2013 21:08

Ooh ooh what did you say

Orr...maybe not :o

nevergoogle · 09/02/2013 21:14

well...as far as I was concerned it was probably my most insightful post ever apart from...

"well to be fair it's easier to knit when you haven't got a penis getting all caught up in your yarn". nevergoogle, 2013. (you can put that in the next book HQ) Wink

SPBInDisguise · 09/02/2013 21:18

Why was that deleted? Nt a personal attack

nevergoogle · 09/02/2013 21:24

nooo, that's now my most insightful post on this thread. the other having been deleted.

chandellina · 09/02/2013 21:24

As a woman I frankly find it embarrassing that others of my gender freely admit to caring more about cake recipes than exercising their intelligence, education and economic power. But that's just me. Ultimately it takes all sorts, but I put it roughly on par with girls who want to be glamour models - you're giving us all a bad name.

edwinbear · 09/02/2013 21:25

hannah my parents hadn't divorced, but their financial circumstances were complicated by the inheritance tax planning arrangements they had entered into.

SPBInDisguise · 09/02/2013 21:28

Ahh that makes a bi moe sense
And what were the acronyms Helen was throwig about? PARB and erm soemthing else

BrandyAlexander · 09/02/2013 21:29

Shock or am I missing the joke?

SPBInDisguise · 09/02/2013 21:31

not sure, what are you shocked at?

LineRunner · 09/02/2013 21:32

I think things get deleted sometimes when reported by fragile types.

Pagwatch · 09/02/2013 21:33

Pard is polite and reasonable discourse
Tube is the usual Bunfight ensues.

But I don't want to be in charge of remembering unofficial acronyms

nevergoogle · 09/02/2013 21:33

PARD - i have no idea, i'm hoping P is for Panda
TUBE - The Usual Bunfight Ensued.

tunnocksteacake · 09/02/2013 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineRunner · 09/02/2013 21:34

PARD = polite and reasonable discourse

TUBE = thread up bum egg

LineRunner · 09/02/2013 21:34

oh yeah, bunfight thing.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 09/02/2013 21:35

Yes well, this thread is the usual egg up the bum.

nevergoogle · 09/02/2013 21:35

Panda's And Recipes for lemon Drizzle

SPBInDisguise · 09/02/2013 21:37

PMSL
Pandas Make Slimy Lovers

Mutley77 · 09/02/2013 21:40

I think it's why generally working mums are friends with working mums and SAHMs friends with SAHMs - you can't understand or identify with the working mums because that's not your life and you chose to give that up - which the working mums obviously haven't!

Tbh I quite thrive on the chaos of working part-time - I have my off days but I am really fortunate to have a flexible job so I can manage it reasonably easily and I think I would be bored to SAH. Hence I wouldn't really identify with your conversations about swapping recipes - unless I tasted something you made that I really really liked and wanted to cook myself. Obviously I do still cook from scratch for my children and I am better at baking since I went back to work!

BrandyAlexander · 09/02/2013 21:41

The equating sahm and glamour girls.Shock Chandellina, apols if I am just being slow.

Pagwatch · 09/02/2013 21:43

Thread up bum egg?

What is a bum egg. Is it a gnormous pile.

Pagwatch · 09/02/2013 21:44

Pandas are rarely domesticated.

SPBInDisguise · 09/02/2013 21:45

or, more topically, Panda Makes for Suspicious Lasagne

BigAudioDynamite · 09/02/2013 21:46

One could always become Nigella Lawson; then one would be able to obsess about cake recipes, whilst working...