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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to go outside and slash down the SOLD sign outside our rented home?

287 replies

rocket74 · 09/02/2013 09:03

I am so so upset. Our happily rented home for us with 2 small children has been sold and we will have to move out. We wanted to stay here indefinately. Been here 3.5 years but never realised when we moved in our rent was paying for the owners care home fees and that when she died it would be sold. Thought they meant it when they said long term rental.
So gutted. Some couple came round with their kid and dad who was obviously putting up the deposit for them. Alright for some!!
ABSOLUTELY bereft - we have tried looking for somewhere new - but we need an extra £400 month to get somewhere even vaguely similar as rents have gone crazy in this area - Brighton and Hove.

I just want to scream and slash the sign because if I don't I will end up slashing something else - which won't help issues.
Our little boy loves this house - he has autism - and the garden is big enough for him to run and do his laps - as is the living dining room.
I just want to be able to provide him with a home to suit his needs but I don't see how. I'm just crying all the time and feel totally hopeless.

Will I be done for criminal damage if I do smash down that fucking sign?

OP posts:
BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 09/02/2013 13:34

I too agree with MrsDeVere.
I'm sorry to think the OP is now sitting in a sobbing heap when all she wanted was a bit of empathy Sad.

Mimishimi · 09/02/2013 13:35

To be fair, the OP has not agreed that waiting to get evicted is a good idea. It's normal to be upset. We were upset when our landlord consistently raised our rent each quarter by the equivalent of £30 a month over the space of a year when it had been stagnant for almost four. So £120 a month extra in one year. Fortunately we were in a position to buy but, yes, we didlower our expectations whilst renting. Have considered Buddhism but then I get turned off by all the associated avatar mythology etc that seems to come with both the Indian and Chinese versions. Even though the location was great, the property itself was a bit horrid - large roaches and slugs came out at night because we were on the ground floor. Barely usable kitchen. Very cold in winter because it was an old Art Deco building with lots of draughts (from whence the roaches and slugs came most probably). Summer was cool though. Bathroom with original 1920's green ceramic fittings. Water pipes that clunked in summer and clanged in winter.Only a 2 bedder. However, the money we saved from not renting a fancier place ( and there were lots available) meant we could save a good deposit. And yes, we did have both kids with us then- we all slept in the one room. If we'd rented a house and garden, especially in that area, we'd probably still be renting since the rent back then, five years ago, for those properties was around £600 a week. It's just a fact of life that rents go up if the demand + ability of others to pay is there.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 13:35

I hope the OP is still reading then, and she will see lots of us agree broadly with what she was feeling (even if we're not condoning the idea of pulling down signs!).

Alittlestranger · 09/02/2013 13:42

God some people on this thread are arsehats. Probably home-owning arsehats at that. And old ones who brought when you could get away with a deposit on a credit card and a mortgage three times a modest salary.

OP you are not be unreasonable to be upset and angry. Good luck finding somewhere new.

Auntmaud · 09/02/2013 13:47

If I couldn't afford to buy, I'd have put my name down with council ASAP .

Kat101 · 09/02/2013 13:47

Citizens advice bureau. Now. They find it a million times easier to hep with housing issues the earlier you go and see them. Don't wait until you're on the bad private renters list, or evicted. Go now. Trust me. Its free too.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 13:49

But what good would it do to put your name down? Confused

That's not how it works.

Alittlestranger · 09/02/2013 13:50

Auntmaud where on earth do you live? Apart from not in the real world. In most areas where housing is expensive putting your name down with the council amounts to naff all in terms of actually getting a council house.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 13:50

Honestly - I can just imagine going along and putting my name down.

'Hi, DH has a decent job and we're in a secure tenancy, but please do consider us for a council house in the south of England. Oh, by the way, we've no expectation we'll need it any time soon, but when we get notice on our property we will want it within a few months, hope that's ok, thanks!'

You'd hear the laughter for months.

PurpleStorm · 09/02/2013 13:52

Seriously, Auntmaud?

If you were in what you thought was a suitable and affordable long-term private rental, you'd really put your name down for council housing just in case your landlord decided to sell the house out from under you?

lollilou · 09/02/2013 13:54

Could someone explain the Intentionally homeless bit to me? Surely you are homeless if your Landlord asks you to leave? Does this apply to all Councils and Housing Associations in all areas?

Mimishimi · 09/02/2013 13:54

"^Honestly - I can just imagine going along and putting my name down.

'Hi, DH has a decent job and we're in a secure tenancy, but please do consider us for a council house in the south of England. Oh, by the way, we've no expectation we'll need it any time soon, but when we get notice on our property we will want it within a few months, hope that's ok, thanks!'

You'd hear the laughter for months.^"

So what do you propose she should do?

nkf · 09/02/2013 13:56

What should she do? Find another rental. And get a bit of sympathy for the hassle factor.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 13:59

mimi - I would hope she can find another rental. We don't know her circumstances yet. Ideally, she will be able to find something else, within the time. Someone suggested she speak to the landlord's relatives and that would be a very good idea - they may be able to give her some leeway.

If she cannot find somewhere else to rent, that's when it becomes tricky. Of course it would be a very good idea for her to put her name down now, no-one is denying that. But, of course, it's very unlikely to help her immediately. If she has family she can go to, she may want to do that. If she can't, she may have to wait out for the eviction and go with whatever can be provided. This is, obviously, the worse option for her. I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that.

But these options have been outlined quite a lot on this thread and ignoring them is simply naive.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 14:00

loll - it's explained upthread. You are counted as having made yourself 'intentionally homeless' if you leave at the end of a tenancy, as opposed to waiting to be evicted. It is appalling and stupid, but that's how it is.

Cosmosim · 09/02/2013 14:07

About 7 years back, I dated a single /no kids guy who was given a lovely 2 bed council house in Stratford, London. Being fairly ignorant in how these worked in the UK, I had thought council houses were only for people who were in financial need.

Not so, he explained, though he admitted he never thought he'd get one. He had a nice deposit too as he was saving up to buy a flat thinking he'd never get a council place.

Reading mumsnet, however one would think it was easier to win the lottery.

Mosman · 09/02/2013 14:08

It can't hurt to put your name down on the list, got to be in it to win it.

Alittlestranger · 09/02/2013 14:10

Cosmism it's possible you didn't know the full circumstances. For instance maybe he had managed to get himself classed as "vulnerable" in some way to get extra points. Some London boroughs also put single people in otherwise hard to let properties. Generally it is very difficult to get social housing, especially if you need somewhere with enough room for a family.

SunflowersSmile · 09/02/2013 14:19

Yes, Alittlestranger. Many moons ago some trainee Drs I knew got a hard to rent flat.
It was a top floor flat with no lift access.

Mutley77 · 09/02/2013 14:21

YABU for wanting to damage the sign. I understand you are upset and frustrated but unfortunately you are where you are and private renting is just that "renting", which means "borrowing". It is not in any way the owner's fault and you do not have any rights to stay any longer - I hope you don't decided to try and wait it out.

We are just about to rent out our home but, at the end of the day, if we need it back it is still ours and unfortunately the people who rented it will have to leave.

Long-term is beyond 6-12 months so you have been there long term.

Also you have been really lucky to have a nice home for so much cheaper than the market rent - the owners have effectively been subsidising you, a situation which you should be grateful for (not necessarily grateful to the owners because they have obviously had benefits from having stable, longterm tenants, but you have been lucky). You will have to move forward and get the best accommodation you can for the price you can afford like the rest of us.

I hope you can see this more positively but please do not take out your frustration on the landlords - or the sign.

NotYouNaanBread · 09/02/2013 14:25

I don't see where the OP said anything about being left homeless? She just said that to get a similar house in their area would cost £400 more than they're paying at the moment (which is one reason why she is BU - she's had a landlord who hasn't increased the rent in keeping with the market value for several years).

She hasn't said that their house is at the bottom of the scale, so surely all this means is that they'll have to get a slightly smaller house, or something in a slightly less hip area (if rents have gone up that much in such a short time then presumably it's quite a desirable area to live in). In Oxford for instance, £400 is easily the difference between a small house with no garden in a trendy area or a bigger/nicer house a 10 minute walk away.

She's not BU for being pissed off, but all this talk about being homeless and needing a council house seems to be jumping the gun a little.

Original poster
rocket74 · 09/02/2013 14:26

Gosh I go out and come back to all this.
First - the house was sold after the first viewing.
Two - we have been on the council list for five years
Three - the lovely garden is only lovely because we cleared twenty bags of rubble and glass from the lawn and laid a new lawn.
Four - at the time the rent was the market rate - its the estate agents and landlords that have pushed a 30percent rise in three years.

We have a good relationship with the landlady - ie - the daughter who managed the property and expressed our condolences as she was very sad and is a lovely person so far as we have known.
We are not being turfed out on our ear and are awaiting the section 21 but that doesnt stop me being really sad, worried, upset, uncertain, gutted about having to find a new home for my family. Tenants are often treated like scum and I see from some comments that's how I am perceived.
We are glad the house wasn't sold to some developer but a family but again it doesnt stop us being upset.
I think paying out 1250-1500 a month rent is crazy and scary that's all.
I have been looking October but being on maternity leave gives us the financial status of a flea.
I am not a reverse snob at all - just wish the market was fairer.

And anyone that knows Brighton knows that Hollingbury is not a cushy luxury area to live. The house just suits us. That's all.

OP posts:
difficultpickle · 09/02/2013 14:27

You must have had notice. Ime getting a grant of probate takes a few months. I took my mum when I went to view a house I wanted to buy. Her contribution to my house was to buy me a bunch of flowers and make me a cup of tea when I moved in.

If you knew that the rent was seriously below market value then I'm surprised you weren't making contingency plans for either a substantial rent increase at some point or having to move. YABU.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 14:27

Best of luck finding a new place. I hope you get to it soon.

AKissIsNotAContract · 09/02/2013 14:29

Why don't you do what SirBoob suggested and look at Peacehaven? Or go the other way and look at Sompting/Lancing. I'm in Sompting and you can rent a 3 bed here for under a grand a month.