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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to go outside and slash down the SOLD sign outside our rented home?

287 replies

rocket74 · 09/02/2013 09:03

I am so so upset. Our happily rented home for us with 2 small children has been sold and we will have to move out. We wanted to stay here indefinately. Been here 3.5 years but never realised when we moved in our rent was paying for the owners care home fees and that when she died it would be sold. Thought they meant it when they said long term rental.
So gutted. Some couple came round with their kid and dad who was obviously putting up the deposit for them. Alright for some!!
ABSOLUTELY bereft - we have tried looking for somewhere new - but we need an extra £400 month to get somewhere even vaguely similar as rents have gone crazy in this area - Brighton and Hove.

I just want to scream and slash the sign because if I don't I will end up slashing something else - which won't help issues.
Our little boy loves this house - he has autism - and the garden is big enough for him to run and do his laps - as is the living dining room.
I just want to be able to provide him with a home to suit his needs but I don't see how. I'm just crying all the time and feel totally hopeless.

Will I be done for criminal damage if I do smash down that fucking sign?

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 13:14

mimi - forgive me, but the melodramatics came after people explained to the ignorant why the OP might possibly have the risk of going through an eviction. Several people didn't know why you have to do this if you're needing to be housed by the council. It was only after this was explained that people became melodramatic about the possibility, which is quite a slight one really since we don't know the OP is in this state and it was simply put forward as a possible issue to worry about.

It is not really fair to suggest anyone jumped in to discuss the OP being homeless on the streets.

nkf · 09/02/2013 13:15

I'm glad it's not just me. I thought this thread had turned loopy.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 13:15

aunt - so, if you genuinely couldn't afford anything else, what would you do, if you had an autistic child to consider?

SunflowersSmile · 09/02/2013 13:15

Some people are harsh here.
It is upsetting having insecure private rental. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be entitled to an HA house or Council.

Auntmaud · 09/02/2013 13:16

Eh?

She can afford something else. Just not a great big gaff with huge garden and living room right in one of the UK's most expensive cities Confused

JakeBullet · 09/02/2013 13:16

Sadly NOT unreasonable auntmaud, the council will INSIST upon the family awaiting eviction if she goes to them for housing. It's not right but it's how things are at the moment.

I was told this when a private rent we were in sold...the council say if you are not evicted then you have made yourself intentionally homeless. It IS wrong and needs to be sorted out but until it is then tenants who want social housing have to do as they are told.

Auntmaud · 09/02/2013 13:17

Everyone can get a council house but you do have to be on a list, obviously, and be patient.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 13:17

And you know this how?

No-one has automatically assumed the OP can't afford something else, but the possibility has been considered. I am not sure how you know for certain she can?

Auntmaud · 09/02/2013 13:18

That's simply not true jake.
Yes, if she wants a council house right this minute but my cousin has just got a council house after being on a waiting list.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 13:18

Sorry, that question was to aunt saying 'she can afford something else'.

But I would also like to know where you propose the OP should live while she is 'patient' waiting for a house on the council list?

Someone has already explained that if she made herself intentionally homeless, it is possible her child could be taken away from her.

Muminwestlondon · 09/02/2013 13:19

I cannot believe that people think that OP should be "grateful" that she was allowed to live in the house so long as the owner did not keep increasing the rent in line with the "market". OP has paid what the owner thought was a fair rent at the time she moved in. Presumably it benefitted to the owner to have good and responsible tenants for the long term, rather than forcing them to move by greedy rent increases, having possibly short term less reliable tenants and having to market the property every six months or so.

nkf · 09/02/2013 13:19

The OP said nothing about council accomodation or not being able to afford a new place. Just how sad she was about moving and how it seemed unfair. It was a rant wasn't it? Fairly brief and understandable.

Auntmaud · 09/02/2013 13:20

Eh again?

She privately rents. As she has been doing. Though, naturally, she may have to move out of her desired hideously expensive location and get a smaller house. Why on earth is it unreasonable to do so?
Doesn't everyone have to cut their cloth accordingly?

The sense of entitlement here is nauseating. no one owes you a bloody living or a bloody house.

nkf · 09/02/2013 13:21

She had a good deal and now it's over and she will now be looking for another good deal. In the meantime, she's pissed off.

What's with all this stuff about councils and park benches and heartbroken relatives and old ladies in care homes?

Auntmaud · 09/02/2013 13:21

You don't think she should be happy she was able to live in a house way better than she could buy for way below market rents for years?

Jeez.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 13:21

aunt - I know she privately rents. So - how do you know she can afford something else? Where do you think she should live while she waits for a council property (could easily be two years or more).

Please answer these questions instead of insisting that people owe you a 'bloody house'. Fortunately we live in a civilized country where most people actually don't want disabled children to be living on the streets.

SunflowersSmile · 09/02/2013 13:22

I think it is fair enough she is venting.
Have a heart Auntmaud- children may have to change schools etc if she moves area.

nkf · 09/02/2013 13:23

She was happy. She loved the house. Her little boy loved it. She thought long term meant longer than three and a half years.

I don't know why this is irritating me so much. Everyone seems so crazy.

PurpleStorm · 09/02/2013 13:26

Of course no one owes the OP a 'bloody house'.

It may be possible for the OP to move into a smaller house or a house in a less desirable area. But that wouldn't make her unreasonable to be upset at having to move and being unable to find somewhere similar at an affordable price.

Auntmaud · 09/02/2013 13:26

I don't quite understand some of these posts.
Everyone knows private renting is a gamble. If she has been there 3 years and her child has SN, had she put her name down on a council list when she moved in she'd possibly be offered a house by now.
Albeit not one at £400 below market value or with an enormous living room and garden in Desirableville.

Which is, I suspect, why she hasn't.

sarahtigh · 09/02/2013 13:29

as far as I know unless you have an assured tenancy which are extremely rare these days, regardless of how long you have been there the landlord can ask for his property back with suitable notice, this may have been long term-ish ie not six month renewal but unless assured tenancy has no right to stay after notice period runs out, surely that is legal even for council she has from what I understand being given legal notice to leave by x date, that is the legal eviction date, it is just more hassle with bailiffs if you do not so surely if she leaves on x date she is not intentionally homeless

While she did not know originally that she was renting from a old lady in care home or her relatives were organising it; it is was a bit naive to say the least to think it would be indefinite, circumstances change for landlords, they may need to sell as here because owner dies, they are in financial difficulties, they need the house for themselves or need to release capital for unforeseen circumstances. unfortunately with rental unless you have an assured tenancy you do not have long term security

While it is annoying when you enter into any contract rental or otherwise there are terms about duties of care, notice periods, rights, responsibilities and charges, to enter into a contract and when things have been reasonable to break terms of contract is unreasonable and wrong

while I am sorry for OP it does not appear that landlords have done anything wrong

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/02/2013 13:30

aunt - I didn't know that was true about council lists. Are you sure? And how do you imagine she was meant to know she'd need one?

You are rather naive, as many people are, about renting. This is understandable, but guilt-tripping the OP isn't on. The OP, with a secure private rental and - it would seem - the money to pay it - would have been at the bottom of a council list.

It seems she has just found out her tenancy will end. It may be if she'd had a year or so's notice, she might have been able to get further up the council list - I don't know, because it depends a lot on area and I don't know the area.

But she didn't necessarily know. She may only have found out pretty recently (and she does sound shocked). This is the big issue with tenancies in the UK - the expectation is that two to six months is enough time to find somewhere else, and often it is not. This is not the fault of the landlords, of course, but it is totally natural the OP is really upset.

JakeBullet · 09/02/2013 13:30

I can't speak for Brighton auntmaud but in this area they won't accept anyone in the housing list until they have interviewed them. Most wont get housed at all.

Yes the OP has had a good three years and its come to an end. IMO she has a very good case for being accepted into the housing list but the question is where she goes with her disabled child in the meantime. Possibly temporary accommodation who knows but what I do know is that they will advise her to contact them again when she has had an eviction notice. This is how it seems to work and it's crap for everyone involved.

Personally I think the OP is frustrated and venting....we all do that from time to time.

hermioneweasley · 09/02/2013 13:33

We don't know if OP has a deposit saved up (3.5 years is a long time to put a little by each month to make this happen). From what she says she's upset at having to leave her family home (fair enough) and also at hoeing to downgrade from a spacious house in an expensive area. Slightly less sympathy for this one - I'm sure many of us would love to live in bigger houses than we can afford in an expensive area, it's just not life. But I'm sure we would all feel sad in that situation.

She says she wants to pull the sign down, not that she'll do it. YANBU to want to and feel sad. But feeling sad isn't productive and from now you'd be better off focusing on the practicalities of finding somewhere and moving. Hope it all goes well.

JakeBullet · 09/02/2013 13:33

Do we actually know she isn't on the housing list? In my area even if you are ON the housing list you won't be housed while you are in private rented accommodation as you will be considered suitably housed unless it is far too small for your needs.

All comes down to not enough affordable housing sadly.