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AIBU?

Not wanting to be invited to a lunch if there is someone I don't talk to?

339 replies

Neverland2013 · 08/02/2013 22:46

I will try to keep it short. I had a big fall out with one of the mums from our 'mumsgroup' over a year ago. In the past, during a B'day party, I managed to be civil to this person but I am rather annoyed that one of my friends invited me as well as the other person to a Saturday lunch although she knows how I feel.

OP posts:

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earlierintheweek · 09/02/2013 15:02

They went to see it and put an offer in which was accepted. They didn't screw you.

They made a better offer.

Really you seem to have lost perspective on this issue a little.

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 09/02/2013 15:13

Ok, I was totally with you until just now. You weren't gazumped, you were outbid. Is that right? You'd not paid out? It's still unfriendly, but if you live somewhere like me, where houses in the bracket we desire & can afford are very limited, it's likely that any two people house hunting at the same time will view/like the same house.

I have had minorish issues with women in my group of mum friends, they have been handled badly by them but I have always ended up taking the flack. I have slowly distanced myself but remained civil.

If you really don't feel that you can put it behind you, then you need to back away now. But think carefully, is it REALLY that big a deal, could you just forget it?

YAB a bit U

Maryz · 09/02/2013 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Neverland2013 · 09/02/2013 15:17

In my world, if I care about someone I wouldn't knowingly hurt them. Buying a house is a big decision. If someone come to me and discuss it I wouldn't go behind their back and using the information to take it away under their nose. Let's say I get over it, what would be next? I can't be open with this person any more. Yes, she asked me at the time to remain friends but I can't and don't want to try to trust her. Life moves on.

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earlierintheweek · 09/02/2013 15:20

They had every right to go and look at a house that was advertised on the open market without discussing it with you and stepping back because you might be interested.

They bought a house they liked. Why is it your business?

Really you need to let this go.

Maryz · 09/02/2013 15:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/02/2013 15:21

I was sort of with you OP until your post of 14:25:25, then you followed up with saying how you told them how much you bid.

I think that you should be angry with yourself.

Neverland2013 · 09/02/2013 15:23

She knew that we put an offer in, she knew which house it was, I did not know they were looking. She knew how much we offered and how much we could increase it to and that is why she didn't tell me that she was interested in the house as she was worried that we may increase our offer knowing too well that we could afford it.

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MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 09/02/2013 15:23

In my world my children and family come first, if I was buying a house and the perfect one for us came up at a price we could afford then that would be the only thing I would take into consideration, if a friend was also looking at it then its just a case of whichever one of us could pay more gets it, but in all honesty I wouldn't feel bad for putting my family first and I don't think she should either.

You seem to think she did this to you, she didn't, she did it for her family.

earlierintheweek · 09/02/2013 15:24

you should have kept your mouth shut. That's why I never discuss financial details with friends.

But if you don't let this go and get over it you will have no friends left.

Neverland2013 · 09/02/2013 15:25

Yes, I am upset with myself for trusting people and expect them to treat me as I would treat them.

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earlierintheweek · 09/02/2013 15:27

You are putting unrealistic expectations on other people.

People do things for their own families first - are you seriously saying that your friend should not have bought a house because you said so?

earlierintheweek · 09/02/2013 15:28

I recently bought a car. My friend had viewed the same car online. I gloated terribly when I found out. We laughed. And moved on.

You need to do the same.

Neverland2013 · 09/02/2013 15:35

No, I am not saying that she shouldn't buy the house because I said so. What I am saying is that pretending to be my friend and finding out all the details and waiting until the house is in their name before telling me is completely wrong.

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Maryz · 09/02/2013 15:37

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earlierintheweek · 09/02/2013 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Maryz · 09/02/2013 15:38

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Maryz · 09/02/2013 15:39

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Neverland2013 · 09/02/2013 15:40

And even then it wasn't her who told me. I found out from someone else! However, she did ask me to collect her son from school. WTF!

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earlierintheweek · 09/02/2013 15:40

If I follow your logic.

Friend and me were looking for the same type of car. I knew this. We had discussed the fact that we were both looking for the same type of car.

Car was advertised. We shared links and discussed that it looked a great deal. I went to look at it before they did because I live closer. I bought it.

But by your logic because I knew they were looking before me I shouldn't have bought the car.

Can't you see how weird that sounds?

Neverland2013 · 09/02/2013 15:41

I can't find Samantha's post.. . The link doesn't work.

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Maryz · 09/02/2013 15:41

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Neverland2013 · 09/02/2013 15:42

I didn't know they were looking... Otherwise I wouldn't disclosed so many details.

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Maryz · 09/02/2013 15:43

This reply has been deleted

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Neverland2013 · 09/02/2013 15:44

No, we did not and even if we did it wouldn't make it better.

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