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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hide a little warning note to MIL when she comes to babysit tomorrow?

945 replies

Wheresmygalaxy · 08/02/2013 21:49

Tomorrow will be the 3rd time MIL has come to babysit for us since our son was born, hes 7 months.

The 1st time dp and I went to ikea and when we returned she was prattling on and on about applying for child tax credits, all about how wonderful sil is eligible for them but doesnt claim - good for her, thought it was an odd topic but she is odd Smile

so the next time she babysit upon our return she was now gabbering on about which local hospital is the best to go to, she didnt like the one i gave birth in and made it well known that it wasnt as good as the 1 her friends daughter went to, so again im thinking what on earth is she on about. Then after she had gone i opened a drawer in my bedside table only to find my next hospital appt check up letter was in there and it was clearly obvious that she had gone through it while i was out. I find this just really odd i know shes really nosey but to go through of all the things in the house my bedside drawer i just found weird. She has mentioned other things that have made me think how does she even know that but having put 2 and 2 together its clear shes snooping around while were out. I love her for coming to babysit, shes giving up her time but that doesnt mean come in and go through my things does it!

I mentioned it to DP nad he said yep she always used to do it to him and his sister growing up and in fact continued to clean their rooms up until the ages of 21 and 24 when they finally left home (believe me ive shared my views on that alone since i found out Hmm ).

so aibu to write a note something along the lines of "get out you nosey old cow" on a piece of paper. or something a bit more dramatic like some retirement home brochures with her name at the top Grin

OP posts:
Themilkywoman · 11/02/2013 06:47

Hope all is ok OP

bbface · 11/02/2013 07:03

Baffled.

Seriously what could have happened that is so bad? Mil was naughty snooping. DIL did a bit of a practical joke on her.

The way some posters are going on about, this was an abused women who left her husband last night in the middle of the night and we should all be worried and concerned that she has not updated.

OP has not updated on a really very trivial but funny thread. Either because she is busy (not everyone has the opportunity to be on mumsnet at the drop of a hat) or she is enjoying watching the build up regarding her thread.

Helpyourself · 11/02/2013 07:14

erm, with a little imagination, several scenarios! This isn't a soap opera.

JaneFonda · 11/02/2013 07:19

This thread has been interesting to read, but I don't understand the desperation regarding an update!

Not everyone goes on MN every spare minute they have - lots of people log in every couple of days or so.

The OP doesn't have to come back immediately to update; like bbface said, it's not really a serious situation so it's not like the people wanting an update are worried about her safety.

Perhaps people should calm down a bit and remember the OP is probably spending time with her family and getting on with her life, unaware of the posters waiting avidly for her to come back.

bbface · 11/02/2013 07:19

Erm, what? Seriously, Op has never remotely hinted she is concerned for her safety!

bbface · 11/02/2013 07:23

Last post was 11 pages ago. Dh was pissed that mil had been looking through their stuff.

Not exactly quacking in my boots for OP!

dawntigga · 11/02/2013 07:31

bbface why are your boots quacking? Do they have ducks in? Wink

NeedAnUpdateTiggaxx

Coconutty · 11/02/2013 07:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TobyLerone · 11/02/2013 07:38

Quacking in my boots :o :o :o

bbface · 11/02/2013 07:40

He he... Actually had to check that I spelt it right! And I did. Means shaking in my boots with fear.

Which when it comes to this OP, I most definitely am not!!

BlueberryHill · 11/02/2013 07:44

I hope that the OP just got in late and didn't have chance to update, she has been really prompt updating so far.

I don't think that she is in any danger, but it would be a shame and feel wrong that the OP has a fall out with her DH over this, it was meant to be lighthearted and has been a lot of fun for everyone reading. I hope there aren't any fall outs into RL.

JudithOfThePeace · 11/02/2013 07:44

Oh come on, OP!! Hope you're ok - but we need an update!

Bbface - I think it's 'quaking', rather than 'quacking'!

bbface · 11/02/2013 07:46

Oh you are right!!!!

ChocolatesSnowAngel · 11/02/2013 07:47

Quake is to shake
Quack is to be duck like Grin

CadleCrap · 11/02/2013 07:58

Another reason for marking your spot is so the OP knows how many people are following the thread - and she is ignoring us by not updating the. Angry

WankbadgersBreakfast · 11/02/2013 07:58

C'mon OP, I should be starting dinner, not sitting on the kitchen floor mning like a loon!

Cuddlyrunner · 11/02/2013 08:06

I have to go to school now and take care of little people, hope there is an update by this afternoon.
For the record, I don't for a minute think the OP is in any danger, the worst that will have happened is that cross words may have been exchanged and tears shed, MIl would have cried and drunk wine, DH may have realised MIL was set up a bit and be drinking wine because it is his mum after all even if she is a nosy old bag, and OP is drinking wine and celebrating having outed MIL.

Tee2072 · 11/02/2013 08:07

I know it's hard to believe but MN may not be her first thought right now.

Chill people.

SassySpice · 11/02/2013 08:13

Help! How do I bookmark? Blush

Wheresmygalaxy · 11/02/2013 08:15

Right, havent got time to read through all the replies just now but i will do,
mil, sorry for not updating sooner but i was busy getting things ready for the week and sorting out ds.

Basically it all came to a head yesterday, we were polite and dp started with i heard you overheard someone mention we were moving away, who was it. She apparently didnt know there name, so i asked, well what did they look like, maybe it was 1 of our friends, again she couldnt remember, so basically i said, the truth is we are not moving away, therefore we wouldnt have had a conversation with anyone at all, the only thing that could make you think we were moving away was if you had seen estate agents forms in the house, so did you?

After a lot of arguing, she admitted "she had been looking for the babies bonjela" in dp's bedside cabinet and saw the brochures (must add, they arent even of any specific house details, more just a this is what we do, this is how many houses we have sold type thing). Dp had shown her the table next to ds's cot where we keep everything like that which she knows, so he kept saying you had no reason at all to go in there, curiosity just got the better of you didnt it, which she wouldnt admit and kept on with her story. So i then piped up, did you go through my drawer aswell, she said no, nothing at this point was mentioned about emigrating, but later on still in the same conversation she mentioned something that if we did decide to go so far she wouldnt see much of ds, i asked how far she was talking about and she said well moving far away, it was blatantly obvious that she had gone through my things, so i just kept asking why did you go through our things, where else were you looking? its like being burglered, i feel really violated..... and dp was just upset that she was still doing it to him after all these years.

I let them do most of the talking as its his family and im sick of trying to reason with someone who doesnt see the problems she causes at all, i just asked why she felt the need to get her brother involved, and she just stayed quiet, i said you saw us last night when we came home, why didnt you ask us about it then, no reply. And what makes you think we would be moving far away? still nothing so i said it wasnt the australia stuff in my bedside cabinet was it, cos thats the only thing i could think that has put this idea in your head, still no reply, so i said well if it was that you should know they are for a friend who hasnt got a printer, but to know that you would have had to be going through my things.

She stayed quiet a lot, and we left soon after anyway, dp and i argued a bit when we got back but only as i had told him i couldnt trust her in my house alone again, and he said that would cause a huge family rift, Im past caring at this point, the less i have to do with her the better. So that was it really, nothing majorly exciting as the glitter bomb which would have been amazing!

I didnt think this would be so exciting for everyone to be honest! im off to read all the messages now though, thanks for thinking of us all! Smile

OP posts:
MadamGazelleIsMyMum · 11/02/2013 08:18

Glad all ok OP, sounds like you handled it really well, letting DP do the majority of the talking, and hope that's MIL's lesson learnt!

fluffyraggies · 11/02/2013 08:24

Thank you for the update OP.
I think this outcome was the best all round, given the circumstances. You set a trap and she fell in basically!

You have proved a point and to some extent have gained some resolution too, which is unusual tbh. Often a situation like this would end at the planning stage!

I hope she has learned her lesson. Was there any apology from her? It's between you and your DH to decide whether to have her alone in your house again, but without some form of sorrow expressed on her part i wouldn't be happy about it.

revolvenotevolve · 11/02/2013 08:24

Thanks for the update op. Good luck and let us know about any developments.

SparklyAntlersInMyDecorating · 11/02/2013 08:28

This reply has been deleted

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adeucalione · 11/02/2013 08:28

Glad you had a satisfying outcome OP.

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