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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to pick dd's friend up from her dance class tomorrow?

504 replies

stormforce10 · 08/02/2013 12:16

Just had a call from DD friend's mum asking if I could pick up her DD and look after her after dance class for an hour or so as she has to take her DS to a birthday party.

Normally I wouldn't hesitate BUT last time I did that for this particular mum she turned up for her DD over 3 1/2 hours late and her explanation was that as both children were at friends she and her DH had decided to go out for lunch. No response to phone calls or text messages and I was desperately trying not to let on to her DD that I was getting worried something terrible had happened. That was 6 months ago but I was so angry with her I still haven't forgotten it let alone her DD's tears when she realised mummy wasn't coming when she said(6 years old)

I managed to say "sorry I can't we're busy tomorrow" and she's come back with a text message saying "please please please I've asked lots of people and they can't either really need someone or I won't be able to take DS to party and he'll be really upset".

What the hell do I text back now. I really like the little girl but I don't want to be taken advantage of again in this way let alone deal with the upset. I'm guessing if lots of other people can't (? won't) do it I'm not the only one she's done this to.

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 08/02/2013 16:52

Hecate Grin

abuhamzamouse · 08/02/2013 16:54

Well done OP what a fab text!

thefarmersintheden · 08/02/2013 16:54

Well done OP!

MavisGrind · 08/02/2013 16:55

Well done OP! It would be interesting to speak to other mums to see if she's done this to anyone else

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 08/02/2013 16:55

Hecate ill put Wine on the last one, her lying to teacher.

Still18atheart · 08/02/2013 16:55

HeCate my moneys on the relationship problem had to go to "lunch" to sort it out option

Astley · 08/02/2013 16:56

Wonderful! I'm on the end of doing this with a total piss taker.

I vite she'll blank you from now on which in my book would = result Grin

McKayz · 08/02/2013 16:56

I am going for the second one.

TheMightyLois · 08/02/2013 16:56

I reckon she'll reply and somehow blame the OP, or have some insane reason why she was so late picking up last time.

squeaver · 08/02/2013 16:56

Another one for Hec's list

Her dd saying to yours "Your Mum won't let me come to your house"

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 08/02/2013 16:56

Well done OP! It can be really difficult to stand up to people, but you have done the right thing.

I once had a friend be 5 hours late to pick up her daughter. She didn't ring or text, and then when she did turn up to collect her, didn't thank me! I was gobsmacked.

PORRIDGEANYONE · 08/02/2013 16:57

Yaaaaayyyyy for Op, you've got balls that is for sure !!! I can't wait to know her answer now !

squeaver · 08/02/2013 16:57

Just realised that was one of the options... Sorry Hecate.

manicbmc · 08/02/2013 16:57

My money is on blanking and bad-mouthing.

HecateWhoopass · 08/02/2013 16:57

She already gave that, Lois - she had gone out for lunch with her husband!

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 08/02/2013 16:59

Text her back right now demanding a response as mumsnet is waiting. If you do, I'll change my bet hecate to blanks op in playground.

TheSkiingGardener · 08/02/2013 17:01

Fantastic response. With a hide that thick she really needed telling!

WannabeWilloughby · 08/02/2013 17:01

well done stormforce on standing your ground!! Smile

Greensleeves · 08/02/2013 17:02

I reckon tears, and a torrential overshare of crap about her life falling apart and how hard it all is.

Like Alexa's mum on Outnumbered.

Still18atheart · 08/02/2013 17:03

nah if she realises mumsnets avidly following, will be the bitching to other mums option

BlueberryHill · 08/02/2013 17:04

I think that she wil badmouth you to other parents, who will all think 'Yes!!! Well done' as she will have pissed them all off before on playdates.

iwantavuvezela · 08/02/2013 17:06

Hecate I like those odds Smile

FelicityWasCold · 08/02/2013 17:06

Well done OP- Hold firm.

Chandon · 08/02/2013 17:08

I have had this situation.

I just repeated " no, it is not convenient" to any further self-invitations. She did send a few" DS is sat here in tears, I said YOU would explain to him why he cannot come to his friend's house", which I ignored.

After a while she pretended it all never happened and moved on to some new suckers. She is running out of suckers in the village now, though 1 poor lnely mum still runs aroudn with her kids on a regular basis...

I reckon she will be thinking of a new way of playing you, for her it is all a game, I bet she laughs at how she manipulates people whenever it is successful...your text must have been a shock!

AnnieLobeseder · 08/02/2013 17:08

We had a sleepover for DD1's 6th birthday, 3 friends staying over. The invitation clearly asked for collection before 9:00 as we have to get the DDs to Sunday School. The other children were duly collected well before 9:00, but one child was still there at 9:30, the time we need to leave. I phone the mother (who lives around the corner) and asked when she was coming. She actually sounded surprised and asked if I wanted her to come and get her DD. Um, duh, YES! Then she asked when!!!!! We told her not to bother, we headed out to Sunday school and DH took the poor child home while he took the dogs out for a walk.

Yes, 9:00 is a little early, but we'd already had the children over for several hours by then, and if they knew they couldn't get out that early, they should have declined the invitation.