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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to pick dd's friend up from her dance class tomorrow?

504 replies

stormforce10 · 08/02/2013 12:16

Just had a call from DD friend's mum asking if I could pick up her DD and look after her after dance class for an hour or so as she has to take her DS to a birthday party.

Normally I wouldn't hesitate BUT last time I did that for this particular mum she turned up for her DD over 3 1/2 hours late and her explanation was that as both children were at friends she and her DH had decided to go out for lunch. No response to phone calls or text messages and I was desperately trying not to let on to her DD that I was getting worried something terrible had happened. That was 6 months ago but I was so angry with her I still haven't forgotten it let alone her DD's tears when she realised mummy wasn't coming when she said(6 years old)

I managed to say "sorry I can't we're busy tomorrow" and she's come back with a text message saying "please please please I've asked lots of people and they can't either really need someone or I won't be able to take DS to party and he'll be really upset".

What the hell do I text back now. I really like the little girl but I don't want to be taken advantage of again in this way let alone deal with the upset. I'm guessing if lots of other people can't (? won't) do it I'm not the only one she's done this to.

OP posts:
Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 08/02/2013 16:29

Well done, it needed saying!

Kbear · 08/02/2013 16:30

That was the best response to a text EVER. Well done.

IsItMeOr · 08/02/2013 16:30

Well done OP, totally warranted blunt response from you.

I can't even begin to imagine what would have to be going on for a parent to turn up over 3 hours late to collect their child and not apologise profusely. All I can figure is alcohol/drugs, but I've led a pretty sheltered existence.

Whocansay · 08/02/2013 16:31

I'd have a word with the dance teacher, just in case she decides tomorrow that she's 'forgotton' you can't have her.

She's an utter, self centred, bitch. She clearly wants to ditch the kids and do something else. Tell her to pay for childcare. And then tell her to fuck off.

GoSuckEggs · 08/02/2013 16:31

WELL DONE!! i was hoping you would tell her the truth!

Stand firm, she is unbelievable!! SO rude, you were FAB telling her the truth!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 08/02/2013 16:33

Well that told her Grin She's taking the piss and you did the right thing. Might be awkward next time you see her though...

BinarySolo · 08/02/2013 16:35

Hurrah! Great response.

Arithmeticulous · 08/02/2013 16:35

Whoop whoop

I get itchy teeth if someone is 30 mins late for pick up. Three hours would make me spitty.

Arithmeticulous · 08/02/2013 16:35

Whoop whoop

I get itchy teeth if someone is 30 mins late for pick up. Three hours would make me spitty.

valiumredhead · 08/02/2013 16:38

Ha ha ha ha ha nice one OP Grin

Flisspaps · 08/02/2013 16:39

It's been half an hour, I reckon the next guilt trip 'pwetty pwease, I'll never every do it again, I'm really sowwy and DD is sobbing' text will come soon

Pickles101 · 08/02/2013 16:39

OP you are awesome.

manicbmc · 08/02/2013 16:39

That's what I reckon too, Flisspaps.

conkercon · 08/02/2013 16:40

OMG I cannot believe she text again after you had said no twice. I just cannot believe the brass neck of some people.

When my kids were little I never said anything in front of them and the other child until I had checked things with the parents first. In fact I was still mortified a few weeks ago when I said DS2 who is 15 could have his friend for a sleepover. The mum is a really really close friend of mine as well and the same night we were going out. I had totally forgotten that a couple of weeks before she had told me that she was banning sleepovers for a while because her DS always ended up like a wet rag for the next couple of days.

It was only when we met up in the pub I remembered and could not stop apologising as I had put her in a bad situation. Her son did sleepover that night and she is still my close close friend :)

MortaIWombat · 08/02/2013 16:42

Perfect answer!

bigbadbarry · 08/02/2013 16:42

No, no apology. She will tell her daughter that you have changed your mind and don't want her to come (to make her sad). I suggest you brief your daughter to know that she can't come because her mummy doesn't pick her up.

ohfunnyhoneyface · 08/02/2013 16:43

I NEED to know her reply!

Well done you and don't feel bad! She clearly doesn't care!

DameFanny · 08/02/2013 16:43

Nosey placemark for developments.

Stick to your guns OP, you're doing brilliantly so far Grin

Greensleeves · 08/02/2013 16:44
Still18atheart · 08/02/2013 16:45

Place marking as I'm dying to find out what she replies with. And how this drama unfolds.

Wish I had your guts

lougle · 08/02/2013 16:47

Shock well...that told her!

PureQuintessence · 08/02/2013 16:50

Good for you! Well done on putting her straight and refusing to be a doormat!

HecateWhoopass · 08/02/2013 16:51

Can I start a book?

I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again, we were so stressed... and some sort of reference to relationship problems that could only be solved by going out for dinner. (6/1)

You're so mean, how can't you understand, you're so selfish (4/1)

Out and out verbal abuse (10/1)

No further contact at all, including blanking in the playground (3/1)

Bitching about the OP to other mums (evens)

Daughter is sobbing and thinks you don't like her (5/1)

Simply telling the teacher that you are collecting, giving them your number and not showing up (20/1)

NewFerry · 08/02/2013 16:52

Another lurker popping up to say well done op

Original poster
stormforce10 · 08/02/2013 16:52

sorry to disappoint all you place markers but no response yet.

DP says he'll take dd to and from ballet tomorrow :)

OP posts:
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