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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to pick dd's friend up from her dance class tomorrow?

504 replies

stormforce10 · 08/02/2013 12:16

Just had a call from DD friend's mum asking if I could pick up her DD and look after her after dance class for an hour or so as she has to take her DS to a birthday party.

Normally I wouldn't hesitate BUT last time I did that for this particular mum she turned up for her DD over 3 1/2 hours late and her explanation was that as both children were at friends she and her DH had decided to go out for lunch. No response to phone calls or text messages and I was desperately trying not to let on to her DD that I was getting worried something terrible had happened. That was 6 months ago but I was so angry with her I still haven't forgotten it let alone her DD's tears when she realised mummy wasn't coming when she said(6 years old)

I managed to say "sorry I can't we're busy tomorrow" and she's come back with a text message saying "please please please I've asked lots of people and they can't either really need someone or I won't be able to take DS to party and he'll be really upset".

What the hell do I text back now. I really like the little girl but I don't want to be taken advantage of again in this way let alone deal with the upset. I'm guessing if lots of other people can't (? won't) do it I'm not the only one she's done this to.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 08/02/2013 17:11

Bravo!

KatieScarlett2833 · 08/02/2013 17:17

Fantastic reply. I hate parents who do the dump and incommunicado routine

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 08/02/2013 17:18

I'd put good money on a combination of verbal abuse and bitching behind ops back.

bottleofbeer · 08/02/2013 17:18

I have a friend who has a bit of a tendency to do this.

She'd ask if her daughter could sleep over, I'd say yes. Daughter would be dropped off about noon on the day of the sleepover and not be picked up till seven-ish the following evening. Maybe it's just different ideas about what sleepovers entail. To me it's dropped off after tea and picked up about lunchtime the next day, this felt more like a weekend break than a sleepover. What would annoy me about the fact it took up almost a whole weekend was there was never the consideration that we might have had plans and taking the whole of the next day too was just an absolute piss take. I just said no in the end and I get the feeling it wasn't just me because another friend of hers was also just saying no without any particular explanation. Also the kid is a vegetarian and we're not so it'd include making separate meals for her.

McKayz · 08/02/2013 17:25

I want her to reply!

ChasedByBees · 08/02/2013 17:27

So glad you were honest in your reply. She'll just keep taking the piss otherwise.

expatinscotland · 08/02/2013 17:31

I can't imagine dumping my child like that.

zipzap · 08/02/2013 17:41

Excellent text op! Can't wait to see how she responds.

Hope you're planning on briefing your dd really well before she goes to ballet in case the dd is there and wants to be nasty to your dd or still thinks she's coming or whatever. Or if that doesn't happen then ready for school on Monday.

Do you think she actually bothered to ask anyone else?

I can't imagine many other mums would do anything other than exactly what you did given the circumstances (apart from those who like me might not have been brave enough to send your text but wished they had!)

ScentedNappyHag · 08/02/2013 17:41
Grin
HeadfirstForHalos · 08/02/2013 17:43

She had that coming, right from "please, please".

If her child is upset, it's of her mums making, not yours.

Scootee · 08/02/2013 17:54

Well done op.

If she bitches about it, it's likely the other parents already know what she's like and will be in awe of you.

That's usually the problem with this kind of person - people are so polite, saying they are busy etc instead of roasting the dumping mum for their behaviour. There is one at our school, making her way through everyone there. People walk away when she approaches.

maddening · 08/02/2013 18:01

The woman know's no bounds! Well done on the text - it sounds like she's burnt her babysitting bridges with everyone she knows!

onyx72 · 08/02/2013 18:06

OP - you deserve these!

Thanks
NigelMolesworth · 08/02/2013 18:06

OP you are brilliant!

BluelightsAndSirens · 08/02/2013 18:13

Well done.

DeafLeopard · 08/02/2013 18:15

Thanks well done OP

Cortana · 08/02/2013 18:15

Bloody hell she's got a brass neck. Well done OP.

Bobyan · 08/02/2013 18:19

Your last text OP has made my day! Sad aren't I? Grin

TweedSlacks · 08/02/2013 18:19

Didnt she say "We'd be so grateful if you could look after DD for an hour or so"
Who is the we ? Mrs Pushy and her DH possibly. So any reason not to drop the DD back at hers then?
Well done for saying no , and explaining it in no uncertain terms as to why you you said no.
Maybe though Mr Pushy refuses to look after his children at weekends alone , or ferry them to and from . Unlikely, but not impossible if he works 'so hard ' all week.. just a thought

MechanicalTheatre · 08/02/2013 18:20

Wow, nice one on the text front OP!

Cheek of some people.

comingintomyown · 08/02/2013 18:23

I had a friend like this , she only did it to me once but the others in our circle allowed her take the mick over and over again. She's a lovely woman but just off the scale on that kind of thing Grin

I bet the friend doesnt respond

SPBInDisguise · 08/02/2013 18:24

lurks

giraffesCantEatNHSPotatoes · 08/02/2013 18:36

That is the only language she will understand

TheSecretCervixDNCOP · 08/02/2013 18:42

Good on you OP, cheeky how many times she texted you! Bet she's bottled texting you back as she's realised you aren't the mild mannered complete pushover she had you down to be!

TheTroubleWithTribbles · 08/02/2013 18:44

Lurker marking my place for any further developments Smile