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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to pick dd's friend up from her dance class tomorrow?

504 replies

stormforce10 · 08/02/2013 12:16

Just had a call from DD friend's mum asking if I could pick up her DD and look after her after dance class for an hour or so as she has to take her DS to a birthday party.

Normally I wouldn't hesitate BUT last time I did that for this particular mum she turned up for her DD over 3 1/2 hours late and her explanation was that as both children were at friends she and her DH had decided to go out for lunch. No response to phone calls or text messages and I was desperately trying not to let on to her DD that I was getting worried something terrible had happened. That was 6 months ago but I was so angry with her I still haven't forgotten it let alone her DD's tears when she realised mummy wasn't coming when she said(6 years old)

I managed to say "sorry I can't we're busy tomorrow" and she's come back with a text message saying "please please please I've asked lots of people and they can't either really need someone or I won't be able to take DS to party and he'll be really upset".

What the hell do I text back now. I really like the little girl but I don't want to be taken advantage of again in this way let alone deal with the upset. I'm guessing if lots of other people can't (? won't) do it I'm not the only one she's done this to.

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 08/02/2013 15:46

drop your dd off earlier than usual

expatinscotland · 08/02/2013 15:47

Then send your DH to drop her off if you don't have the bottle to tell this cheeky mare NO.

expatinscotland · 08/02/2013 15:47

She has a husband. Does he work at weekends? This isn't your lookout.

ZZZenAgain · 08/02/2013 15:47

you have told her twice that you cannot do it, so this is getting rude IMO. I really don't think she has asked anyone else.

EldritchCleavage · 08/02/2013 15:48

Well, I would make your texts a bit more terse, so she gets that you're not going to do it, ie. not saying "Hope you find someone to help".

And I would pre-empt her: tell your DD you aren't having the other girl over today before you get to ballet.

Sugarice · 08/02/2013 15:54

Oh no, what a pushy madam! Shock

Stand firm storm and don't let her ambush you.

Rooneyisalwaysmoaning · 08/02/2013 15:58

Shock Seriously, she tried again? What does it take to get the word 'no' through to her!

fiddlemethis · 08/02/2013 16:00

my word, you are so patient!!! She's more concerned about not putting out her dd and making her stay for the party than putting you out!

McKayz · 08/02/2013 16:03

Tell your DD that you are busy tonight. So the other girl can't come. And drop off early if you can.

manicbmc · 08/02/2013 16:04

You have got to spell it out for her - you are not going to do this. You have plans and she took advantage the last time and didn't even apologise. You are not a free babysitting service.

LifeofPo · 08/02/2013 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
stormforce10 · 08/02/2013 16:08

That's bl*dy well it. I've lost my rag. I've got smoke coming out of my ears. Another fcking text

"Oh dear I'd told dd you'd probably have her she was really looking forward to it"

I've just texted back

"If you'd been even slightly apologetic when you were over 3 hours late and your dd was sobbing I might consider it this time but you weren't. NO MEANS NO. Find some one else and for your own sake pick up on time"

Ummm I'm going to regret that aren't i?

Fuming, I've been as patient and nice as I can be and she's pushed me over the bl**dy edge.

F*ck

OP posts:
pigletmania · 08/02/2013 16:09

I wonder why nobody else can do it Hmm. Mabey this is a habit. No no and double no your busy sorry

bigbadbarry · 08/02/2013 16:09

If her DS is nursery age then he is really not going to notice if he misses a party, if it is that big a deal for her DD to go too. She is very rude. Do prime your DD before ballet drop off (and possibly tell her how rude it is to keep on at somebody when they have said no!)

bigbadbarry · 08/02/2013 16:10

Yay! Cross post. Good for you. When I read your last message I thought she had already told her DD :)

ZZZenAgain · 08/02/2013 16:10

don't worry, what is done is done

She has a nerve telling her dd that you will probably take her AFTER you told her twice that you could not. She sounds like a right pain

MrsLouisTheroux · 08/02/2013 16:11

Wow!! She's persistant!! If you do see her have something to 'rush home for' after dancing.

McKayz · 08/02/2013 16:11

Well done you!!!

What a cow to tell her DD when you'd said no.

MusicalEndorphins · 08/02/2013 16:11

Well done! I am proud of you. You did the right thing. I bet a lot of woman reading this cheered when they read what you told her.

redexpat · 08/02/2013 16:12

Well done you!

ZZZenAgain · 08/02/2013 16:12

wonder if she will text again promising that this time she will be punctual

Gigondas · 08/02/2013 16:13

Way to go op -being honest is good as I really can't get past her poor dd being upset .

manicbmc · 08/02/2013 16:13

Don't regret it. You had already said no and she went and told her dd yes. What if you had actually had a family do arranged or a sick relative to visit? Would she have expected you to drag her dd along?

What an utter entitled cow!

MrsLouisTheroux · 08/02/2013 16:13

Xpost!!! Well, your last text will have got the message across! Grin
Has she replied?!

pigletmania · 08/02/2013 16:14

Well done cheeky cow. You really needed to be very direct with her as more subtle methods were not working