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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to pick dd's friend up from her dance class tomorrow?

504 replies

stormforce10 · 08/02/2013 12:16

Just had a call from DD friend's mum asking if I could pick up her DD and look after her after dance class for an hour or so as she has to take her DS to a birthday party.

Normally I wouldn't hesitate BUT last time I did that for this particular mum she turned up for her DD over 3 1/2 hours late and her explanation was that as both children were at friends she and her DH had decided to go out for lunch. No response to phone calls or text messages and I was desperately trying not to let on to her DD that I was getting worried something terrible had happened. That was 6 months ago but I was so angry with her I still haven't forgotten it let alone her DD's tears when she realised mummy wasn't coming when she said(6 years old)

I managed to say "sorry I can't we're busy tomorrow" and she's come back with a text message saying "please please please I've asked lots of people and they can't either really need someone or I won't be able to take DS to party and he'll be really upset".

What the hell do I text back now. I really like the little girl but I don't want to be taken advantage of again in this way let alone deal with the upset. I'm guessing if lots of other people can't (? won't) do it I'm not the only one she's done this to.

OP posts:
EarlyMorningBaconDemon · 09/02/2013 22:13

What the actual fuck?!

So, not only does she put people in positions where it's nigh on impossible to tell her "no", but she manipulates any time away from her child into a free babysitting service?!

I'm sorry, but dear God there are some selfish people about. I'm ALLERGIC to lateness - seriously. I always give myself plenty of time for such-and-such, I'll turn up ten minutes early for everything... I'm awful for punctuality.

Seriously, this woman needs a good hard slap about the face. Preferably with a frying pan. Good grief, how self-absorbed can you be?!

Kiriwawa · 09/02/2013 22:19

I also feel 'poor kid' but that's what her mum relies on isn't it? What a crap situation. Middle class neglect :(

girlsyearapart · 09/02/2013 22:19

Poor little girl. Wonder what else is going on??

SPBInDisguise · 09/02/2013 22:19

yep :(

slatternlymother · 09/02/2013 22:23

Probably her parents just don't like being parents much. It can (and does) happen.

buildingmycorestrength · 09/02/2013 22:27

Truly awful for that poor child.

You have tried telling her to shape up, well done. Not much more can be done, I think...?

foreverondiet · 09/02/2013 22:44

Just re: 4am texting - my phone on silent between 11pm and 7am - my family all know if emergency in night need to use land line.... Never worth being woken at 4am....

pluCaChange · 09/02/2013 22:46

Helltotheno, my DH also suggested she might have been drunk for the 4am texts!

toffeelolly · 09/02/2013 23:06

This woman has a real cheek, poor little girl . Storm you did the right thing WELL DONE !

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 09/02/2013 23:30

4am texting, she would have got a fuck off from me, and that poor little girl, being dumped all the time, i say sorry to DD for being late getting her from school, as parents, its our duty to make our children feel secure, this poor little girl is gonna have some serious attachment issues.

One thing about parenting, we are the parents, we cant just expect people to help us, its nice when they do, but you have no right just to expect it, its just rude.

gimmecakeandcandy · 09/02/2013 23:40

That poor little girl having such a cunt for a mother! I feel so sorry for her! What an awful awful person she is.

anonymosity · 10/02/2013 01:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 10/02/2013 02:00

But she's not neglecting the child. She's seeing that she's well cared-for by well-meaning parents, who then feel used and abused because instead of the agreed one hour, it's three, four, or however many.

I think it is a form of child abuse, but nothing the Social Services could/would do anything about.

MechanicalTheatre · 10/02/2013 02:00

Who the hell would phone social services because a parent was late to pick their child up from another parent's house?

CheerfulYank · 10/02/2013 03:11

Poor little thing. Oh, I can well believe it!

Rooneyisalwaysmoaning · 10/02/2013 07:24

I can believe it too. not far fetched at all. sadly some folk cannot understand that it's their job to look after their own kids.

NotADragonOfSoup · 10/02/2013 07:47

If you were 3 hours late collecting your child from nursery, they would call social services.

fuzzpig · 10/02/2013 08:20

Ugh what a wankbadger of a mum Angry (and the dad too)

I like the butterfly scarf :o

MushroomSoup · 10/02/2013 08:46

You would only call SS after school/nursery because the staff are wanting to go home!

diddl · 10/02/2013 08:51

That´s how they get away with it though, isn´t it?

You say yes for the sake of the child.

Of course if users like this could never find anyone to say yes...

SPBInDisguise · 10/02/2013 09:07

did we eever find out why the DD wasn't at dance?

trixymalixy · 10/02/2013 09:08

Poor kid. Sounds like the mum is running out of people to put upon.

NotADragonOfSoup · 10/02/2013 09:13

You would only call SS after school/nursery because the staff are wanting to go home!

That's really no different though is it? The "host" family may well have things they need to do - the fact that they aren't paid staff is irrelevant.

DuchessFanny · 10/02/2013 09:16

Poor bloody kid !

Pagwatch · 10/02/2013 09:17

I don't think it's far fetched. I have posted before about a boy who was still here for many hours after DS1s party had finished.
The boys were older but the boy was clearly unsurprised. I asked him to call his parents and when he did (they were at home) they told him to stay where he was.
He and ds2 still get on well although at different universities. But I still have never met his parents. They are simply not interested in parenting or their children.
I do think of him sometimes. He may get married and have dc and will have this behaviour as his idea of normal parenting.