To refuse to pick dd's friend up from her dance class tomorrow?

[stormforce10]

Just had a call from DD friend's mum asking if I could pick up her DD and look after her after dance class for an hour or so as she has to take her DS to a birthday party.

Normally I wouldn't hesitate BUT last time I did that for this particular mum she turned up for her DD over 3 1/2 hours late and her explanation was that as both children were at friends she and her DH had decided to go out for lunch. No response to phone calls or text messages and I was desperately trying not to let on to her DD that I was getting worried something terrible had happened. That was 6 months ago but I was so angry with her I still haven't forgotten it let alone her DD's tears when she realised mummy wasn't coming when she said(6 years old)

I managed to say "sorry I can't we're busy tomorrow" and she's come back with a text message saying "please please please I've asked lots of people and they can't either really need someone or I won't be able to take DS to party and he'll be really upset".

What the hell do I text back now. I really like the little girl but I don't want to be taken advantage of again in this way let alone deal with the upset. I'm guessing if lots of other people can't (? won't) do it I'm not the only one she's done this to.

As you know we really don't like to say no unless we absolutely have to. It can be damaging to a child's self esteem if they are given negative messages all the time

LOLOL I had no idea there were such loons people about in real life!

OP, I wonder if she was too embarrassed to go to dance given everyone had refused to have her DD?

I love the "no is my favourite word"
I don't get that, isn't it easy to indulge our children and say yes all the time? Isn't no the difficult option?

To save you the trouble SPB I'm a long way from royalty so do not have the scarf. Is there a MN pleb hoody I can buy it might suit me better

I don't think someone who feels it's appropriate to text someone at 4am has any concept of embarrassment!

spb - no X didn't cave. MY dd is at her house playing and dp will pick her up after we've had a long romantic lunch and a shag

at Freddie

at the no show

No it's OK OP I have called off the private detectives as you've been back and updated.
Glad to see it's your DD that is going round to play

What an unbelievably cheeky cow! Well done OP.

She's a loon, who on earth texts people at that hour. Good on you for telling her the truth and not caving in to her, she needs more of that.

She sounds unhinged and maybe has already similarly burnt bridges with X and others. Judging from snootyfox's post and other rl anecdotes I've done well to avoid this liftshare/impromtu playdates malarkey.

Thesnootyfox

Can you just confirm that you did actually put "xx" after your 'I have no problem saying no to a 9 year old...' reply.

Because that is the icing on a lovely fuckyou cake

Sounds like a happy outcome, have a good weekend

I'd definitely be putting the phone on mute at night now .She not only texted you at four, she really asked someone else at 4:30 am and expected them to say yes? I wonder what she was on....

This has been my favourite thread in ages.

Well done all round everyone. Send your children to someone else's house and take the rest of the day off.

This thread is the most entertaining I have read in my 6 months on MN.

Well well done OP - but please can we have an update on what happens at the school gates on Monday?

Thanks

Well done OP :)

'Last time was ridiculous, seriously. I'll take her for an hour but don't be going swanning off again this time it wasn't ideal for anyone, including your DD.'

^ this

I've just spent ages reading the entire thread. Absolutely brilliant stormforce! I'm aghast that she sent one of her texts at 4.30 am

SPB, Hissy and stormforce, this is the MN scarf (or one of the variations of the MN scarf, but they're all virtually the same wherever you buy them from).

OP I think its all ended rather well. Your dd has a playdate to look forward to. Mad mum knows the score now that you've said no to her it shouldn't b a problem nxt time she makes an unreasonable request. Its not nice having to be blunt with people but sometimes its the only way otherwise you feel beholden to them forever

Result. .

Enjoy the lunch and crafty shag!

This is brilliant!! OP you have to continue to update!

The woman is unbelievable.

And snootyfox- I LOVE your reply- total genius.

Hurrah! Pleased to see your assertiveness has been rewarded with a lovely lunch shagging opportunity!

Snootyfox is a hero!

Who the bloody hell texts at 0430?
She is clearly a loon!

I used to have a friend like that. She couldn't do anything. She couldn't take her dd to school so mug that I was, left early to take my dd to nursery, in order to take her dd to school. If I couldn't do it, she'd get so done else.
Then she'd ask if I could clean her house (she wanted to pay me).

I had a new born baby btw.

Anyway, in the end, everyone got pissed off with her & she ended up with no help.

I also had a boy over to play with my ds. An hour after pick up time his mother hadnt arrived. Boy wasn't at all worried. So I text her. No reply. So I called. She sounded surprised that I called. Then pissed off that she had to spoil her evening to get her boy. I never invited the boy again. She never spoke to me again.