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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To despair at EVER finding a bra that fits?!

999 replies

Silverstar2 · 06/02/2013 17:41

So, I have read every website on the subject, been measured at Bravissimo, and STILL find every single bra uncomfortable - even the ones that Bravissimo said were the right size. I just want to rip the thing off as soon as I get in from work. They seem fine for about an hour, then start to dig in.

I find that they just 'curl up' at the back, and I get horrible back fat, or dig in at the side/arm pit, but mainly on just one side! The band never seems to sit flush to my side iyswim. I have tried going up a band and down a cup, down a band and up a cup etc, have tried every style going..........

I found when I wore my saggy old too big bras they gave me no shape or support, but my god they were comfy!

I think I am about a 36/38 E/F. I have ordered and sent back about ten bras this last month as they just all HURT.

So, AIBU to just let 'em all hang out and be pain-free??!!!!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 12/02/2013 16:00

Erk Shock

if sex is painful, you shouldn't be doing it !

You deserve a wallow, love

soaccidentprone · 12/02/2013 16:07

well your D's is only 5 months old. most women's bodies are covered in stretch marks, I know my belly and thighs are, and I have a huge scar across my abdomen from having my gall bladder removed 15 years ago.

but my dh loves me as do my 2 dc's, and I am sure your dh and baby do too.

I think sometimes, especially when you're knackered with a little one, it is easy to think that everyone's body has just 'popped' back to normal, and that everyone is coping better. but it's not true. I know that most of my friends get very tired from managing home, work, children and trying to have a bit of a life as well. and most of them have body issues ie belly too big, bum too big etc. but to look at them from the outside they all appear happy, healthy, no money worries etc.

but it's an act, and sometimes if you act happy and content you are more likely to feel that way, than looking in the mirror and focusing on all the negatives.

so what I am trying to say is...try to look at what you have got that's good ie a happy healthy baby, a strong body which carried a healthy baby and family and friends who all love you.

you talked about having another child or two, so your dh obviously finds you attractive enough Grin

hope this helps

PS - my DM had a mastectomy when she was 49, so I don't have any issues with boobs etc (I hope) and have been having early mammograms due to my family history

MrsKoala · 12/02/2013 16:08

Soaccident - sorry to hear you have back trouble, I know I'm not the only one with issues and everyone else seems to get on with it. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I like the cossie thanks. The lady at bravissimo suggested I go for a bikini top which is rouched and patterned to distract the eye and fit a pad in. They had one in there I tried on which seemed less noticeable. I just need some waterproof chicken fillets to attach - I am worried about them floating out in the pool Blush

Claires - not patronising at all, you are the first person I have spoken to who can only feed from one side. I was beginning to think I was the only one! :) thanks for sharing. Sorry you have suffered but knowing I'm not alone does make me feel better. That makes me very selfish doesn't it? I am proud of my body tho and proud of everything I have done for ds. My family were all encouraging me not to breast feed because of the cosmetic effect. But I would rather be lopsided and have bf'd (nothing wrong with those who ff, I just wanted to do this) than not. And I don't resent ds for any affect on me. These have been my choices and I should just suck it up.

soaccidentprone · 12/02/2013 16:13

see, there's no way I would wear a bikini top, so you must be braver than me!

soaccidentprone · 12/02/2013 16:17

my 2 new bra's arrived today from Love Bra's. I haven't tried them on yet 'cos I'm freezing and I'm not going to strip down to my birthday suit ATM

please don't post links of anymore nice bra's until the 22nd when dh gets paid or 28th when I get paidGrin

soaccidentprone · 12/02/2013 16:17

how many bra's is a reasonable number anyway?

MrsKoala · 12/02/2013 16:19

I suppose the boob thing has taken me by surprise. I was fully expecting weight gain, stretch marks, jelly belly, cellulite and because I know most women have those I felt fine about it. But the wonky boob thing has knocked me for six. No one else I know has that and it really is bad. No one could say you couldn't tell, you could see it from space!

Dh does find me attractive, he made the mistake of laughing at my boob once (we have a very playful bantery relationship and he is used to me being very self depreciating and robust, and I just crumbled, I absolutely sobbed. He felt awful) but I know he loves me and wants me. I just don't find me attractive and that's half the battle I think.

Anyway, no more wallowing. I have 2 stone to lose and once my boob has settled back I'll be fine. I should be much happier by May. Ds has stooped feeding so much and has bottles and is on some solids now, so i think by then he'll have stopped bfing completely. I can do this :)

Thanks for letting me get it allout. Sorry again for the hijack. I don't know what I'd do without you lovely supportive ladies. Thanks

MrsKoala · 12/02/2013 16:23

How many do you have soaccident? Are you a professional fitter? Is that why you are so tempted? What colours do you usually go for? Do you ALWAYS wear matching pants in case of an accident ?

AnyFucker · 12/02/2013 16:32

MrsK Thanks

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 12/02/2013 16:42

MrsK don't apologise. We all have our issues. I am Hmm at the advice of your gynae and physio - not the way to make someone feel better! Thanks

AgathaF · 12/02/2013 17:52

MrsK sorry you are feeling down about your body. Remember though, what fantastic stuff it has done - grown a baby and fed that baby. You should be proud of your body for that.

I'm so pleased your visit to Bravissimo went well and you were comfortable enough to go back in time.

soaccidentprone · 12/02/2013 18:16

well I have 3 bra's which fit me, 2 which came today that I need to try on, 2 that I bought v v cheaply from m&s which are a little too small, but I hope they will fit me when (and if) I lose some weight, and 2 m&s bra's which are totally the wrong size.

I usually wear black bra's and black knickers. they don't match but at least they are the same colourGrin I also have a white bra as you can't always black bra's under everything Blush

I am a civil servant (and I don't enjoy my job, but it keeps me in bra'sGrin )

soaccidentprone · 12/02/2013 18:23

and I did have quite a bad accident about 2 years ago, and honestly the colour and state of my underwear was the last thing on my mind.

my first thought was - fuck, my second thought after 10 minutes was where's the bloody ambulance - I need entenox (gas and air) and why don't they carry anything stronger, I need morphine (bloody brilliant stuff)

ClairesTravellingCircus · 13/02/2013 09:59

Sorry to go back to trivial things...

But will someone help me in my bra limbo? ThanksThanks
Thanks!!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/02/2013 10:09

Claires what are your measurements?

ClairesTravellingCircus · 13/02/2013 10:52

Thanks Alibaba

It's 32 under and 37 1/2 over

Currently wearing a 34HH breadtfeeding bra, the band feels right, but cups are obvs huge.

I know I'm supposed to be a 32, but my pre-pregnancy bras feel so tight, wore one the other day and couldnt wait to take it off.

Also massive difference in cup sizes between my boobs... Hmm

Slso have you any recommendations fir online shops other than bravissimo and figleaves? Somewhere cheaperSmile?

Many many thanks!!

SorrelForbes · 13/02/2013 12:13

I'd say try a 32E. What cup size are your pre-pregnancy 32s? They probably felt too tight due to too small a cup.

BraStop is a very good online shop for bargain bras. eBay can also come up trumps.

ClairesTravellingCircus · 13/02/2013 12:32

Thanks Sorrel, I was wearing a 32E but now it feels too tight, I have lost weight though so that is strange. Could it be that my ribcage has expanded? I had twins so was massive!

AnyFucker · 13/02/2013 13:40

aww, twins ! Smile

soaccidentprone · 13/02/2013 13:41

thank God for that, I thought I had killed the thread.

I wouldn't be in a hurry to get back to non bf bra's as your boobs will still be changing in size and your body going back to 'normal'. it took 9 months for your body to change to give birth, so realistically it takes about the same length of time to go back again.

bra stop are good. the 2 bra's I ordered both fit, though I prefer the curvy Kate.

ClairesTravellingCircus · 13/02/2013 14:54

I know Sorrell, but they're one now, and I have kind of stopped breastfeeding.

I am just fed up with the feeding bras Hmm they're now completely the wrong size snd dont support me at all!

Thanks, I'll look at the brastop website

ClairesTravellingCircus · 13/02/2013 14:55

Sorry, that should have been soaccidentprone

soaccidentprone · 13/02/2013 15:05

no worries.

sorrell is correct on sizing, and wearing the right size can feel a bit tight at first if you are used to more give.

you need to get the band size right and then get the cup right. try to get something with a decent % of Lycra as this will be more comfy. maybe something like http://www.brastop.com/SetDetails.aspx?setId=3864&Product=Curvy_Kate_Showgirl_Tease_Me_Balconette_Bra_Ivory/Pink this they had a deal the other day and if you entered curvy10 at the checkout you got another 10% off.

soaccidentprone · 13/02/2013 15:05

this

Octopus37 · 13/02/2013 18:41

Ok guys, some of you sound like you are experts.

My measurements are:
Underbust 28/28.5
Overbust 32

I usually wear a 30C, but sometimes find they feel a bit tight so wear 32B, but it would seem that I need a 28. Also find that with a 30, sometimes get a bit of an underarm fat overhang issue, does this mean I need a bigger cup size as I actually don't have boobs really