to have moved seats after obese woman continously farted through the film?

[plugplant]

It was a local village do, she is a nice lady and I had chatted with her before the film as she was sitting next to me. The first couple of farts I tried not to notice. But they kept on coming and it was making me retch. I had no option but to move seats in the break.

I did not confront her and I tried to cover my nose as discreetly as I could but do you think I was rude for not bearing it out until the end of the film?

Fartgo.

But actually OP yanbu really. Fart once and you can pretend it wasn't you. Fart twicw in a confined space when you are in extremely close proximity to another person then get up and go. Even if its only temporarily.

The Sweet Smell of Success.
Fart of Darkness

How to lose a guy in 10 days?

The Last Airbender?

Fart Attack hosted by Neil Poo'Cannon?

Are you seriously contemplating apologising to someone for moving seats because you suspected her of seeping poisonous wind in the local village hall?! How's that conversation going to go?!

Blowout?

Parp fiction?

good thread.

Can I add:

Fartkenstein
The Devil wears Parp-er

OP - absolutely you should apologise for moving. And the come back and tell us how that conversation went.

Am wondering the appropriate response to "so sorry about moving the other night, you're a lovely woman, but your windy bottom was ruining my enjoyment of the film" !! I mean what does one say to that?!

Thunderpants.. oh no that was a real film

OP - absolutely you should apologise for moving. And the come back and tell us how that conversation went.

"That's alright love. I couldn't wait for you to fuck off...hence the reason I let off all those stink bombs".

OP - absolutely you should apologise for moving. And the come back and tell us how that conversation went.

"That's alright love. If you think they smelt, cop this BELCH!"

In a funny way, I hope it was her that was farting and not someone else flatulating down/up wind.

If it wasn't her, she probably now thinks OP moved because she was embarrassed about her own stink bombs.

everybody else nearby probably think it was the op because she moved.

You should have nipped out for a clothes peg at break and come back wearing it on your nose.

a) Everyone would think you are a cool hipster with Vera Wang jewellery on your phizzog and...

b) Obese farter would get the message.

Perfume?

Back To The Farture?

Tootsie?

OP - how did the apology go?

Was it a Clint Eastwood season?

Fartbreak Ridge
Sudden Impact
Every which way but loose (which was lucky)

Godfarter II

As my sister would say 'Bazinga!' - reading your title I laughed a lot and thought 'No, but you will certainly get grief from people for correlating fart frequency and weight.'

First response...

The remake of Les Miserables, featuring Deflatine

Shitness
The spy who Parped Me
Skids and the City
The Poo-man Show
Shatting Hill
Me and My Guff
Raiders of the lost Arse
The empire farts back
Spinal Crap
Ten things I hate about Poo
Parpeye
Shite-anic
these are all from my husband who just HAD to contribute! I saved this thread for him coz i knew he'd love it.. Sorry! quite possibly a thread killer but hope not

Forrest Guff
Days of Thunderpants
Top Bum

Whooops myporkylips

Oh it was Troll Hunter then.