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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not like it when children always want food off other people?

164 replies

CrapBag · 05/02/2013 18:30

I admit I have a real pet hate about this. It grates on me big time.

I was brought up to think that it is rude to go asking other people for food. If my children tried it I would stop them as I think it is awful, however they don't seem to do it anyway.

I have a friend whose children always seem to be wanting food. She does feed them, and a decent diet, with treats etc but the second there is food around, there they are wanting some and she never ever tells them to stop. They will stand there right in front of you whilst you are eating and the youngest will just have her hand out. Luckily they know me and the minute the youngest tries, she stops looks and me then walks off as she knows I won't give her some of mine or my DDs lunch etc.

A little while ago I had some cake and the eldest kept on and on. I said it wasn't time for cake yet, she didn't let up. DH also said she was doing the same to him. The other children there weren't. When I did do it and gave it out, the mum then sent her DD in to ask me where hers was (cake really was for the children) I did make a comment of "thats where they get it from then"

I am known for not sharing my food, my friends do tend to make a joke of it (but I have deep rooted reasons going to back to being starved as a young child and I have never liked sharing my food) I also don't think that I should force my children to share their meals either.

So is it me or is this rude?

OP posts:
thebody · 05/02/2013 18:33

No I don't share my food either. Just smile and say 'Mmm this is delicious' in the greedy toddlers face. Priceless.

DameFanny · 05/02/2013 18:35

Why do you eat in front of people without offering then any? Sorry, but I think that's rude too, and unless it was something specific like getting food into a baby, everyone would wait, or everyone would be offered food.

NatashaBee · 05/02/2013 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Isildur · 05/02/2013 18:36

I don't know really.

If we were at home, I couldn't imagine sitting down to eat with my children and leaving guests without food.

We were often hungry as children, and I have probably gone too far the other way. I over-cater on a grand scale, and chuck food at people if they stop moving within fifteen feet of the kitchen. Grin

Original poster
CrapBag · 05/02/2013 18:41

Ok, sometimes its at toddler group if me and DD haven't had time for lunch, I take ours with us.

Sometimes at soft play or meeting out I will take out a snack for DD or sometimes me.

The cake was for the children. I wasn't eating it. They just kept pestering (only these, none of the others).

Its not a case of they are at my house and I am eating whilst everyone watches, that would be rude. Smile

It is any time, any occasion, any place, food is out, these 2 are there. One of them even goes and gets someone elses bag at toddler group looking for the snacks in there!

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 05/02/2013 18:43

If I was eating cake then my kids would want some.

I doubt they would ask another parent if the parent was eating cake.

But I have a child who is dairy-free so food begging isn't an option.

NatashaBee · 05/02/2013 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CloudsAndTrees · 05/02/2013 18:45

Why are you eating lunch without offering any to guests in your house?

That's a lot more rude than children wanting food when they see something they like.

Saying that though, I was emergency babysitting for an acquaintance a couple of months ago, for children I don't know especially well, bit my dc know them fairly well. I had offered them a drink, sandwiches, and a penguin. They both had the penguin, one accepted the sandwich but didn't eat it, despite being given a choice of filling. Then the child who hadn't had a sandwich helped himself to the only bag of crisps in our house without asking. He just took it, and started munching away! I was Shock Shock and Angry because I only buy one single pack a week for ds as an after school snack, so I had to go shopping again. I didn't have enough for all of them, so I had to take them off him, so of course he wasn't happy with me either. Rude, rude, RUDE!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 05/02/2013 18:49

are you sure they are not going hungry, it seems odd behaviour to me to actively go rooting for food. being interested in your snacks and hopeful of some is probably normal enough but looking in bags and going on all the time about cake doesn;t seem right to me.

Original poster
CrapBag · 05/02/2013 18:51

That is rude Clouds

I wasn't eating lunch in my house!!!!

I have explained that I sometimes need to take mine and DDs lunch out sometimes it is just a snack. This is when I find other children hover about for food and parents say nothing. I don't tend to have people over because of the size of my house.

At a christmas party, there was a large table with loads of yummy food. Me and DD were sat down eating some crisps when a child I didnt' know started hovering about. I told her that these were our crisps and the mother (sat further away) was giving me daggers because I didn't give her child food. To me its rude to let your child go to other people for food like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrapBag · 05/02/2013 18:52

Step no, they definitely get fed, decent food, decent amounts, snacks etc. I have seen it. They just always want what someone else has got and parent says nothing.

OP posts:
DameFanny · 05/02/2013 18:52

Oh, ok, Yanbu then. How very annoying.

CloudsAndTrees · 05/02/2013 18:53

I cross posted with you, sorry Smile

coldcupoftea · 05/02/2013 18:54

Well if I take a snack for my kids when we are out and about with friends I would offer some to whichever children we are with.

But by the same token if a friend got out a snack for their children I would not expect my kids to ask for some (although in all likelihood it would be offered anyway).

Original poster
CrapBag · 05/02/2013 18:54

Sorry, I didn't exactly explain it properly in the OP. I assumed that people clearly knew what I was talking about Grin, as usual.

Definitely not talking about sitting in my house, me and children eating with guests sat watching us. Generally when anyone is eating when out and about and random children hover about wanting some.

OP posts:
juneybean · 05/02/2013 18:58

YANBU, my charges do this, but it's the way they do it that annoys me "ooo that looks nice juney "

Andthentherewere5 · 05/02/2013 18:59

YANBU! I have a friend with a lot of kids. They scan my kitchen surfaces to find any food and then ask who is it for. It might be a bag of sweets I have bought to fill up the treat barrel but they will ask who they are for. If I say "for the barrel" they ask when we will be having some and then keep on asking WHEN they will be eaten. They do get treats but not just because they see a bagM Hacks me off really!

Isildur · 05/02/2013 19:00

Ha! I totally misunderstood your OP, sorry!

I don't think it's a common problem though, when we are out it's all I can do to make any child sit and eat.

Perhaps I have a reputation as a provider of crap snacks Grin

thefarmersintheden · 05/02/2013 19:01

I always share snacks out with whatever children are with us if my dc want one. I only carry things like breadsticks and rice cakes and we wren't on so strict a budget that we can't afford to share.

I think a blanket attitude of 'i don't share food' makes you sound possessive and selfish, but clearly that's your perrogative.

I also think it's rude for the parents to allow their dc to beg so you are all bu, imo.

fatfingers · 05/02/2013 19:04

I agree that it is rude for children to ask for food off other people but I also think it is rude not to share snacks with children you are sitting with or who are playing with your dc. I also think it sounds a bit mean to reserve cake only for the children and leave your adult guest out.

SirBoobAlot · 05/02/2013 19:06

It's normal child behavior. You sound selfish, tbh.

If DS is having a snack, and another child looks interested, or asks for some, I always tell the parent that they're welcome to have a piece of apple or whatever it is if it's okay with them. And if I have friends over, there are always snacks out for the kids when my guests arrive.

I can't imagine eating in front of a guest without having asked them if they would like some too. That is just odd.

Original poster
CrapBag · 05/02/2013 19:08

thefarmer see we are on a very tight budget and things could be getting tighter which is why I also don't want to provide snacks to other children.

WRT the cake, I bought it for the children. It wasn't huge, it actually didn't occur to me to think about the adults (who did get some). I don't go to peoples houses and expect food either. I eat before I go out or take my own.

OP posts:
thefarmersintheden · 05/02/2013 19:12

Agree, sirboob. Reminds me of the time my friend invited me over then offered her housemate a boiled egg and they both sat there and ate them in front of me without offering me one!

Yfronts · 05/02/2013 19:14

I do tend to share and would expect my kids to share but at the same time feel it is rude to demand food. My kids do rarely sometimes ask and I find it embarrassing.

Yfronts · 05/02/2013 19:16

If my kids were always hungry, I'd make sure as a mother I had food with me to provide for their needs.