To not like it when children always want food off other people?

[CrapBag]

I admit I have a real pet hate about this. It grates on me big time.

I was brought up to think that it is rude to go asking other people for food. If my children tried it I would stop them as I think it is awful, however they don't seem to do it anyway.

I have a friend whose children always seem to be wanting food. She does feed them, and a decent diet, with treats etc but the second there is food around, there they are wanting some and she never ever tells them to stop. They will stand there right in front of you whilst you are eating and the youngest will just have her hand out. Luckily they know me and the minute the youngest tries, she stops looks and me then walks off as she knows I won't give her some of mine or my DDs lunch etc.

A little while ago I had some cake and the eldest kept on and on. I said it wasn't time for cake yet, she didn't let up. DH also said she was doing the same to him. The other children there weren't. When I did do it and gave it out, the mum then sent her DD in to ask me where hers was (cake really was for the children) I did make a comment of "thats where they get it from then"

I am known for not sharing my food, my friends do tend to make a joke of it (but I have deep rooted reasons going to back to being starved as a young child and I have never liked sharing my food) I also don't think that I should force my children to share their meals either.

So is it me or is this rude?

[Floggingmolly]

dromedary . Do you seriously see nothing wrong with munching the biscuit yourself and leaving another child looking on?? I'd be ashamed if my children did that.
As for the op commandeering all the available crisps at a Christmas party, and announcing to any child who happened to pass by that they were her crisps and said child couldn't have any...
You were lucky the other child's mum only "gave you daggers",
If I'd have been the other child's mum I would have removed the bowl from your grasping fingers and shoved it up your arse.

[Crawling]

Ffs they are toddlers op you sound greedy and mean you have food issues because as a child you were forced to watch others eat without you you know how this made you feel yet you inflict the same thing on other children.

[Floggingmolly]

If the group provide snack and plenty of it, so there should be no need for me to give me and dd's dinner to other children, then surely by the same token there should be no need for you and dd to need your dinner either?
How come nobody else needs to have their dinner in the middle of a playgroup,
or am I missing something?

[OxfordBags]

I can't get past eating cake but then telling children that it's not time for cake! If it's not time for cake, then WTF are YOU eating it?! So hypocritical! That sort of illogicality and unfairness is a surefire recipe for creating resentful kids who crave treats even more because it's giving them a sort of 'getting their own back' caché.

I hate sharing food, but I do it, because it's important to model good behaviour, not just demand it of children. I bet all the posters who bang on about not sharing with kids expect their children to be good sharers in other areas. Hypocrites.

Sudaname, setting a child up to fail and taunting them is far, far worse than them wanting a snack soon after arrival! You really need to find a better way of getting rid of that very obvious chip on your shoulder about being a step-parent and grandparent than being cruel and passive-aggressive with small children which you delude yourself is 'training' them. It's not your place to train them. Moreover, the only thing you will be training them in is nasty behaviour and feeling bad about themselves without understanding why. Bravo. Nothing like putting the 'wicked' into stepgrandmother!

[Saltire]

When teh Dses were younger many of us often took lunch tot eh aprk or a snakc. We never shared it we jsut ate our own. Same at aprties, if a child has a plate of food, and there is plenty more food on the table, then why should child A have to give food from thier plate to child B, why can't child B have their own plate?

[Saltire]

How come nobody else needs to have their dinner in the middle of a playgroup,
or am I missing something?

The OP did state that lots of other people take their dinner to playgroup too

[BooBumpDaddyandMe]

My DS1 was getting a bit food crazy but after lots of perseverance "No" is starting to mean "No".
I think it's hard for children, toddlers particularly to understand that what someone else has isn't necessarily theirs but the begging is irritating and a bad habit that needs nipping in the bud I reckon.
We always try to eat our meals together and offer snacks/give them if asked for within reason which helps with the puppy dog eyes at other times when DH or I may have to eat lunch late etc.
YANBU it's really irritating but I think should be dealt with gently as not to create issues around food/hunger & general behaviour.

[LeggyBlondeNE]

"YANBU it's really irritating but I think should be dealt with gently as not to create issues around food/hunger & general behaviour."

I think this is the important point - whether you're a happy food-sharer or not, having had a relative take something a lot like Sudamame's approach it's really important not to create a sense of shame around wanting food. And if said relative acts in that way to my kids there will be words. (I'd also suggest to her husband, who similarly is my actualy blood relative, NOT having the favourite snack in the house, which is generally how I deal with such things!)

[Hobbitation]

As TODDLERS (FFS) if someone else got food out that they fancied at a toddler group DDs would have probably toddled over & investigated if it looked interesting, just as they might have picked up someone else's drink. Of course I would have immediately told them not to and that would be that pretty much.

They've always just loved their food & been largely good eaters. At parties they will actually eat sandwiches and fruit/veg if available as well as crisps & cake. And they help themselves to it, it's not me putting it on their plate, I don't mind what they eat at a party. They are both in the middle to lower end of the BMI range so I'm not concerned.

[Dromedary]

I'm amazed that I've been criticised by several of you for daring to want myself and my children to eat one biscuit each (all we had with us as emergency supplies) when we had had nothing to eat since breakfast, it was mid-afternoon and we were very hungry, having missed lunch to travel to meet up with some friends for a full afternoon playing outside. The boy in question, who lied that he had not had lunch when he had had a large lunch shortly beforehand, in order to ensure that he rather than I was given the third biscuit, was 9 years old. So we should have had nothing to eat until the playdate finished at 6 then (9 hours since breakfast) because to eat in front of the other mum's children without offering them anything was rude? How was the 9 year old boy not out of order here??!!

[Floggingmolly]

You missed lunch in order to travel to a playdate scheduled to go on until 6 o'clock (why?) and brought 3 biscuits to ensure you didn't actually collapse from lack of food during a "full afternoon playing outside"?
It's sounder adder and madder, Dromedary

[Floggingmolly]

Or madder and madder, even

[thefarmersintheden]

Eek, imagine the blood sugar level crash after fasting for til mid-afternoon and then having a single chocolate biscuit.

I'd be in bits after that, poor kids. Are you usually that disorganised when it comes to feeding your DC dromedary?

[Hobbitation]

Why would you allow small children to miss their lunch? You always plan for them to be well fed, changed & not overtired, surely, whatever else you do.

[MrsMushroom]

Dromedary why wouldn't you pack some lunch for such a journey?

[myfirstkitchen]

This thread gets weirder and weirder.

[shutthebloodydoor]

Oooh and here comes the I can't believe ur sooooo unorganised - u bad mother crew! Stop pretending ur so feckin perfect! And if it is perfect u clearly have too much time on ur hands!!

[valiumredhead]

Making sure a child has lunch isn't being 'perfect' - it's pretty bloody basic!

[Hobbitation]

Everyone is disorganised from time to time, especially if things happen off the cuff or plans change. But it sounded like the poster planned for the kids not to have lunch & then survive on a biscuit later. Then complained when someone else wanted a biscuit, thinking they were up for grabs and not someone's lunch

[shutthebloodydoor]

vallium well wouldn't she have had to make lunch for the whole park? As that what majority of people are saying? Just incase some one on the swings felt left out maybe? Or maybe take herself of and eat in car in secret??
hob ur 'opinions'are goady.

[Hobbitation]

Oh rite

[catladycourtney1]

I really don't understand this taking-enough-food-for-anyone-you-might-bump-into-and-their-kids-business. Do people really do that? I mean, if you've planned an outing with another parent and their children, then fair enough, but surely you'd either both take enough to share or both just take enough for yourselves? But if you take your children to the park and get your sandwiches out having only packed enough for yourselves, and someone else's kid starts hovering around you, I don't think you should feel obliged to share with them. And with playgroups and stuff, if most parents take snacks, or snacks are provided, then you shouldn't have to share. Children can swap snacks amongst themselves, that's different, but you shouldn't be expected to provide for the whole group.

I hope nobody thinks I'm terribly rude, I spend a lot of days rushing from one job to another and sometimes I have to shove something in my mouth when I get the chance, regardless of who might be watching. I wouldn't offer to share unless I was eating something share-y, like sweets or something.

[wanderingcloud]

Seriously weird ideas here! As an adult dromedary surely you can go from 9am til 6pm without food? 9yrs old or not, I'd give up my biscuit for the kid. I'd think anyone who wouldn't is very strange. [Confused]

[Hobbitation]

I think it's a bit different having a packed lunch in the park or even taking that to a play date at someone's house if it couldn't be avoided. Of course noone would expect you to share it, especially with strangers (!) But the poster's situation sounds totally different.

[MrsMushroom]

Me too Wandering utterly bizarre to sit and eat a biscuit in front of a child having given one to the other children present and explain why they couldn't have one!