Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

MNHQ have commented on this thread

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

MNHQ have commented on this thread

AIBU?

to think my ex is an absolute fucking bastard of the first order

216 replies

11Plustrauma · 02/02/2013 19:07

DD got her 11plus results today. She did really very well for her, put in a load of effort, and will get in to a grammar school. Just not the one he wants.

He said, in front of her, "Shit. I'm disappointed".

She has howled all day and it will take a great deal to pick her up again.

He is a bastard, yes or no?

[NOTE FROM MNHQ: Although we're sure it was meant as a joke, we have edited the thread title and OP to remove some beyond-the-pale violent imagery. Some subsequent posts making reference to the same imagery have also been deleted.]

OP posts:

Report

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 11:23

Have ordered the book thank you

OP posts:

wreckedone · 04/02/2013 11:30

I took my 11+ and was offered a bursary at the school I wanted to go to. My parents were really disappointed (and told me so) that I didn't get a full scholarship - I felt like a failure. May I suggest coating his balls in jam and then setting some red ants on them. Then woodchipping them.

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 11:33

Am going to see round most likely school and meet head on Wednesday. She gets to come too and a prefect will take her round and get her juice and a biscuit in the canteen.

Keep your fingers toes and anything else crossed for us that she likes it and it goes well.

OP posts:

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 11:33

Sorry - sloppy grammar and sentence construction, I should go back to school - DD gets to come too.

OP posts:

JuliaScurr · 04/02/2013 11:46

Has no-one mentioned the rusty spoon method of castration?

'cocksucking son of a wankbadger'

dd did 11+ to get into best secondary for anxious kds - of course, doing the test made her anxious. We all made a massive fuss of her for being brave enough to do the sodding test at all. She failed by 3 points, passed on appeal.

Her father is a grade A tosser.

Please pass on my congratulations and best wishes. She will do well at whatever school she goes to.

wankbadger

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 11:46

You're all going to make me cry. Again. Thank you all round and on Wednesday night.

OP posts:

LatteLady · 04/02/2013 12:50

Just seen this, what a fantastically clever girl your daughter is... You must be incredibly proud and for very good reason.

I hope she will be really happy at her new school and that she can enjoy the rest of her time at what seems to be a lovely primary school.

Well done that girl!

PessaryPam · 04/02/2013 13:08

OP your ex is an utter tosser but I am sure you are aware of this as he is an ex.

EnjoyResponsibly · 04/02/2013 13:56

Passing the 11+ is a major achievement, for which DD and you should be chuffed to bits.

But she's now got to undertake another 7 years of education and that must be in a place that adequately suits her academic and parochial needs. It seems that you, and she, have realised that and have made the right choice.

Your ex husband does not seem too bright actually. Has he considered additional coaching?

It would be fun to be in the Heads office when she hands him his balls on a plate.

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 14:26

So, on the advice of current head I texted him to let him know that I and she would be going to see the most likely school.

BAD idea.

OP posts:

holidaysarenice · 04/02/2013 14:31

Having done the 11plus and liked it, I understand where you're coming from.

Let her ring him and say i'm disappointed in you as a father

Would it make him stop and think?

holidaysarenice · 04/02/2013 14:33

Have just seen that you texted him! What happened?

Should we be forcibly inserting his phone into his anus?

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 14:36

Yes please. He said (and I quote) "Have I missed something? Is Wednesday not a normal school day?"

I replied "yes it is I have cleared it with MrsX"

Doesn't he get that in order to try to undo the damage he has done the right thing to do which the current head suggested this morning before I did and then I said I was going to do it anyway, the RIGHT thing to do is take her to see round the school and make it a positive experience. Don't answer that. Because no, he doesn't.

God I hate his fucking guts right about now.

OP posts:

holidaysarenice · 04/02/2013 14:42

Ooo I'm so angry on ur behalf!!!

You have turned what could have been a disaster for your little girl into something positive. I know so many ppl who struggled at grammar school despite being bright, just not as bright as the top 10%!

Take comfort that you are a super mum.

Importantly for you dd, are any of her friends planning on this school? That's always important at 11 and might be a good idea to let her get to know a few ppl outside school if none of them are.

And don't let ur ex dh go on wed either. Well by the time WE finish with him he'll still be in a and e!!

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 14:47

LOL yes her 3 best friends from primary will be at the same grammar. Don't know if they will be in the same class though because they stream.

If he turns up on Wednesday I will be absolutely incandescent with rage.

OP posts:

Herrena · 04/02/2013 14:47

Umm... I'm a bit confused. Was he questioning the fact that your DD will be going to see her new school on a regular school day and will be missing her ordinary classes? Because I would probably initially question that too tbh.

Disclaimer: my kids are under 2 and I didn't go to school in the UK so am clueless. Also, I do think your ex has acted like a dick up to this point!

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 14:49

He was being sarcastic. That's his form, it's how he behaves, it's something he does. "oh am I missing something isn't it supposed to be xyz" to make me justify myself.

OP posts:

holidaysarenice · 04/02/2013 14:49

Hopefully then she will come home from school today full of excitement that she is going with her friends! I take it you're in ni when you have an 11+.

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 14:51

Yes I hope so.

Yes in Northern Ireland.

And at least she still has a grammar to go to - there are children in her class who were expected to score very highly who have done much less well than expected and are unlikely to get in to any grammar. Which is a much worse situation than she is in.

OP posts:

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 14:52

Oh I meant to say. It made me laugh - when I phoned the head of the most likely grammar. It's a girls school and she actually did say "we like to think we look after our GELS and are a big caring family"

Someone up the thread talked about a girls school as "caring" for the "Gels" and I swear I nearly laughed out loud.

OP posts:

Herrena · 04/02/2013 14:53

Oh, well if he was being sarcastic then he can no longer have the benefit of any doubt from me!

It's nice that you are being so supportive to your daughter - my parents were all about the results and couldn't have cared less if I were miserable at school. I remember hearing friends talking to their parents and being amazed when the parents said 'oh well, you did your best' and actually seemed to not hate their kids.

I hope she enjoys the tour on wednesday :)

holidaysarenice · 04/02/2013 14:56

Ahhh having went a gels school in NI I really want to know if its mine! Prepare for a lot of hand flapping and squealing when they see a boy tho..... :)

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

11Plustrauma · 04/02/2013 15:21

Lol I don't think that's unique to a girls school.

They are both good schools and I just don't understand why he has such a blind spot about this. He's normally not like this. But he just has a bee in his bonnet about getting her into one in particular.

OP posts:

Shodan · 04/02/2013 15:29

"He said (and I quote) "Have I missed something? Is Wednesday not a normal school day?" "

I admire your restraint in not replying something along the lines of 'They were going to open the school up just for us at the weekend because they heard DD is your daughter and they know how speshul you are, but I dissuaded them.' But then you clearly more grown-up than me.

Your daughter has achieved something amazing. Huge congratulations to her and also to you, for your restraint wrt your xh and for being such a supportive and plainly fantastic mother.

Shodan · 04/02/2013 15:31

you ARE clearly more grown-up etc etc.

And you can type betterer than wot I can too.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.