To ask why do people 'loud parent'

[ElevenCent]

This woman from my NCT group does it all the time with her DS when we all meet for coffee and it's just ridiculous. She literally verbalises every thing they do with a question at the end and some sort of lesson. Eg mummy can't find her phone in her handbag can she James? Phone, James, PHONE. We ring daddy on the phone don't we? / Mummy is going to get you a rice cake, isn't she James? But we only have three left don't we, till we get to the shops. One, two, three. Shops. SHOPS.

I do engage with DD, naturally, but nowhere near on this level!

Sorry, I know this isn't a new topic, but it is so ridiculous. A couple of times I've echoed it with "what is mummy going to do tonight DD, drink gin, that's right, GIN. What does mummy like with her gin? Tonic, that's
right isn't it DD? But she might need to have it neat tonight, isn't that right?" however she is usually too absorbed in explaining to him why coffee is hot, HOT, and why it is sometimes in a mug MUG, sometimes in a cup CUP and why only mummies MUM-MIES drink coffee and not babies BABIES and why and why and why and why and why

If that's your experience then fine, but why extrapolate it across all areas? You sound snipey.

its not talking. its addressing or a commentary designed for the benefit of passers by, not the kid

we say this every time

listen! its not normal talking to your kid, which of course is lovely

beacuse its mn,we do class big time,get with the programme
mn can get class out of every damn thing.esp posting style and comments bout txt speak
mn is online chewin fat,the social observation of someone else.thats the whole point

again you can assume or say snipey to support your pov. i of course dont agree
sarky,hell yes. its not hard when observing a tribe i find funny
dp you only post impartia;,neutral,nonjudgemental class free opinion.no?no one does

What's your obsession with my 'point of view'? Everything online is a point of view.

*everything online on MN

Erm no pagwatch. I was agreeing with lq about the need to just be normal around children. There is nothing normal about saying everything in loud voice to them and constantly repeating things. Methinks it is you who has misunderstood my point.

Yes. i misunderstand.

LaQueen was talking about children with no language or speech delay.
You have extrapolated from that that she means children with speech delay don't need clear loud continuing speech.

She posted that if there is a speech delay then it is 'fair enough'.

Sorry LaQueen.

I feel like I am talking about you....

Bobby, great that your ds has developed speech in his own time without any intervention. My ds (2.7) has a genetic condition, part of which is speech disorder, many children with the condition are completely non verbal. Ds has had SALT since he was 10 months old, his expressive language is at the level of a 6-8 month old, although he has just started to sign, so his communication is improving, although his speech isn't. Our SALT has advised simple clear language, looking at ds, trying to catch his attention with exaggerated tones, and she points out that this is the way people often talk to very young babies,and helps with speech development.

I agree with her re the no speech delay thing.
I would go further though and add that even with speech delay thing, the communicating with them thing should be no different to a 'normal' child. I did read up extensively on this - having, as i did, child with major speech delay - and found little evidence either way.

I think we should have

Loud parenting = endlessly talking at children for a variety of reasons including being a bit bored, batty or having salt thingies

And

Performance parenting = shouting self aggrandising things at your child for the sake of passers by.

There is also

Passive aggressive parenting = saying rude things about people but to your baby in order to avoid direct confrontation "yes sweetie that woman does have a face like a badgers arse and was very rude to push in front of us, wasn't she"

I should add I am talking only about speech delay, no other complications, conditions etc.

I would rather go with the SALT teams that have taken him from non verbal to able to articulate his needs rather than your reading up and not seeing much difference either way. If that's ok.

I went with the passive aggressive parenting style.

I have a real urge to go to Waitrose now, just to see if I can find any performance parenting.

However, that would mean I'd have to get off my bum, get dressed and go OUTSIDE.

Hahaha.

Never seen anyone admit PA parenting before!

I have seen some great ones. The ones done in a sing song voice are particularly brilliant and awful, all at the sme time.

I recommend it. My dd is fluent in sarcasm.

My POV was that 'loud parenting' is not class specific. I just don't know why people make everything into a class war on here.

I dont either if you think somebody is smug in their parenting say so dont bring frigging class into it,

speech delay is a developmental thing rather than parents not talking loudly or other wise to their babies, on the other hand parents who do not talk to their babies sometimes their babies will be speech and devolpmentaly delayed. child devolpment is a minefield imo and some do go OTT with it,

its mn of course everything a class war on here! have you read baby names posts
or ear piercings for children, and no one admits to ever going mcDonalds.ever
loid parebting,saskia is so clever she can sing wind bobbin up in french is a mc mummy thing

I just don't understand it

anyone else reading 'mc smuggery' etc as 'McSmuggery' i.e. like something you'd get in McDonalds?? in which case, can you still call it middle class??

OH LIKE A MC SMUGGERY MEAL [GRIN]

If you order a 1/4 pounder in a French accent in the Hampstead Branch you get a free McSmuggery.

would that be an organic McSmuggery pag ??

Mais oui.