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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask why do people 'loud parent'

467 replies

ElevenCent · 01/02/2013 18:24

This woman from my NCT group does it all the time with her DS when we all meet for coffee and it's just ridiculous. She literally verbalises every thing they do with a question at the end and some sort of lesson. Eg mummy can't find her phone in her handbag can she James? Phone, James, PHONE. We ring daddy on the phone don't we? / Mummy is going to get you a rice cake, isn't she James? But we only have three left don't we, till we get to the shops. One, two, three. Shops. SHOPS.

I do engage with DD, naturally, but nowhere near on this level!

Sorry, I know this isn't a new topic, but it is so ridiculous. A couple of times I've echoed it with "what is mummy going to do tonight DD, drink gin, that's right, GIN. What does mummy like with her gin? Tonic, that's
right isn't it DD? But she might need to have it neat tonight, isn't that right?" however she is usually too absorbed in explaining to him why coffee is hot, HOT, and why it is sometimes in a mug MUG, sometimes in a cup CUP and why only mummies MUM-MIES drink coffee and not babies BABIES and why and why and why and why and why

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 02/02/2013 17:35

right so you've stopped crying?can you compose yourself to stay?
can you genuinely see this isnt the normal parental-child dialogue thats being discussed

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 02/02/2013 17:37

Ha ha! Grin I didn't start it!

bruffin · 02/02/2013 17:37

Cambridge seems full of loud parents.
Last time we went there was a fenton on the train who every movement was commented on.
Today Ds 17 and I went to the zoology museum and It was full of parent saying that's a hippotomous say hippotomous Emily.
Ds and i ended up rescuing Emily as she was out the front door without her mother noticing. We stood for a few minutes stopping her and her even smaller brother going out and the mothervdidnt turn round once to see that they were doing.

FrameyMcFrame · 02/02/2013 17:42

It's actually really oppressive to other children and parents in the vicinity because the loud parenters use up all of the decibel space so no one else can talk or listen!

I really hate it actually

exoticfruits · 02/02/2013 17:44

You do see lots of parents who are fully engaged with their children and obviously talking all the time-they get it right because you can't actually hear what they are discussing.

exoticfruits · 02/02/2013 17:45

Not to mention oppressive to their own DCs, Framey-they must want peace and quiet to think!

Pagwatch · 02/02/2013 17:48

"a Fenton on the train" bruffin?

Was the 'Fenton , Fenton , Jesus Christ Fenton ..' shouted across the train distracting.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 02/02/2013 17:52

And everyone knows it's a Hippo-Bottomous anyway bruffin.

Right, next time I namechange it's going to be either BaconyKnees or FuckingKandinsky Grin

amazingmumof6 · 02/02/2013 18:11

scottishmummy my culture is different, so whatever is normal to me will raise eyebrows time and again.

I have spent the last 15 years trying to figure out what is "normal" in this country. It is not easy.

I do not look to be offended, but I'm a sensitive person and the thought of being sneered at because I do or say things or behave in an unusual way hurts my feelings.

that's about the size of it.

WidowWadman · 02/02/2013 18:31

pagwatch - what's wrong with taking a six year old into a gallery, or even let them learn the names of painters whose work they like? It's no different to a child knowing everything about dinosaurs/tractors/whatever else takes their fancy.

Pagwatch · 02/02/2013 18:39

There is nothing wrong with it. I've done it. As it goes DD loves the Tate.

It was just funny. In the situation she sounded horribly precocious. But I knew she was also likely to say fucking Kandinsky.

It was just an anecdote. Not everyone on the thread is after a barney.

manicbmc · 02/02/2013 18:40

I used to love it when my dad took me round the galleries in London, when I was six.

All that beautiful art to take in... and all those naked bottoms. Grin I was soooo cultured.

I remember a trip to the Cuttysark around the same time. My brothers went off with my dad learning all about life on the ship whilst I stayed with my mum and played with the ship's cat.

scottishmummy · 02/02/2013 18:42

i like kelvingrove galleries,used to go there as wean
crackin big exhibits and musty ole charm
good caffs near by on dumbarton rd

WidowWadman · 02/02/2013 18:45

pag sorry - didn't mean to sound like I was attacking you, just puzzled by why actually it seems to be generally cringeworthy if children know or are taught stuff which is perceived as 'highbrow'. Almost as if an education is something to be embarrassed about.

manicbmc · 02/02/2013 18:47

Dd once informed an RSPB tour type person that the bird she had been telling everyone was a young Herring Gull was, in fact, a female Eider duck. She was 6 and really into her birds.

She didn't say 'fuck' though. She does now though, a lot. Hmm

Pagwatch · 02/02/2013 18:48

It's alright WidowWadham.
No problem

Smile
WorriedMummy73 · 02/02/2013 18:56

Wow, there are some nasty, cutting remarks on this thread. I love how people think it's fine to be this way online, but would never speak to people like that in person. It sickens me that people have expressed upset at some of the comments on here and then been really nastily responded to. I wonder what kind of comments I might get for writing this (and can already picture 'who' will respond!). Some cowardly people about.

For the record, my DD (11) loves going to Birmingham Art Gallery (despite me knowing bugger all about art and never 'teaching' her about it, loudly or otherwise). She's always been a forward child and her own Dad has called her posh on more than one occasion! Some kids just soak up everything they get exposed to and my DD is one of those. Doesn't make me a some smug middle class Mum though. Too much judging going on here methinks.

Francagoestohollywood · 02/02/2013 18:59

I have nothing against children being exposed to "highbrow" topics.

I object to 10 months old being talked to, or having things explained as if they were 5, or 21 in many cases I had the chance to witness.

Pagwatch · 02/02/2013 19:02

Worriedmummy73

You do get that no one was being rude about going to galleries don't you?

Yes?

scottishmummy · 02/02/2013 19:06

again some of you are determined to think this is a detraction of you,your parenting
there is wilful misreading,and seeking offence going on,unless you are aloud parent
repeatedly people have said this isnt the usual parental rapport this has been wilfully ignored to maximise offence and affronted how dare you stance

WorriedMummy73 · 02/02/2013 19:06

Pag, no, that's not what I was referring to - there was a lot of defending of that topic actually.

I meant that one Mum said the responses made her cry and the nastiness directed her way was awful, as if she'd mentioned drowning kittens or supporting euthanising the disabled ffs.

I just think people are very quick to make nasty remarks because they're online that they wouldn't necessarily make in real life.

GeorgiaC11 · 02/02/2013 19:06

I see where your coming from about what parents are saying to their babies but its such a natural instinct to talk to them all the time.

Although I always ended up talking to my DD when she was tiny in such a high voice, I tended to forget I was in public making silly squeaking noises and singing! Hmm

Pagwatch · 02/02/2013 19:11

Thats good. I just wasn't sure why you needed to talk about your DD going to a gallery as if anyone would disapprove or think it was odd.

scottishmummy · 02/02/2013 19:13

oh i see worried mum,you want to be offended on someone else behalf?
so you havent directly been offended but since you reckon someone else was you pile in
given the poster concerned hasnt raised any particular gripe,i fail to see why you do

WorriedMummy73 · 02/02/2013 19:16

Scottish, I like how you know exactly who/what I'm talking about! Actually, I'm making the point that people think it's fine to make bitchy/cutting remarks when it's online talk. I'm not 'offended' on anyone's behalf - I just find this kind of behaviour offensive. And I don't think for a second that you'd take that aggressive tone with me if we were talking face to face!