To ask why do people 'loud parent'

[ElevenCent]

This woman from my NCT group does it all the time with her DS when we all meet for coffee and it's just ridiculous. She literally verbalises every thing they do with a question at the end and some sort of lesson. Eg mummy can't find her phone in her handbag can she James? Phone, James, PHONE. We ring daddy on the phone don't we? / Mummy is going to get you a rice cake, isn't she James? But we only have three left don't we, till we get to the shops. One, two, three. Shops. SHOPS.

I do engage with DD, naturally, but nowhere near on this level!

Sorry, I know this isn't a new topic, but it is so ridiculous. A couple of times I've echoed it with "what is mummy going to do tonight DD, drink gin, that's right, GIN. What does mummy like with her gin? Tonic, that's
right isn't it DD? But she might need to have it neat tonight, isn't that right?" however she is usually too absorbed in explaining to him why coffee is hot, HOT, and why it is sometimes in a mug MUG, sometimes in a cup CUP and why only mummies MUM-MIES drink coffee and not babies BABIES and why and why and why and why and why

I only read the first page and it made me cry.

I can't believe that chatting to a baby or a child or even singing to them in public is yet another area a parent would be judged on!

I get that the "let's eat sushi" or "counting in mandarin" show off comments are just dumb, but how communicating with your children can be seen as loud parenting or so heartlessly criticized is beyond me!

I make my kids laugh with the silliest comments and conversations & will teach them about anything I can, wherever we are and if people overhear it and judge me about it I think there's something very wrong with them!

I don't know if it's jelaousy or ignorance or envy, but it makes me feel sad.
And that it's going on in a country where people are so proud of being tolerant and PC makes it even worse.

you cried?really?did you read thread this inst regular parent-child dialogue#you dont need to wring your hand feeling you personally can never talk to own child think youre seeking to be offended and whats world coming to,even mentioned pc

A friend was helping professionally with a child with limited speech development. It became apparent why there were problems when the mother say "he dont speak to me so I dont speak to him". Right. He was a toddler - would much prefer loud parenting to the alternative...

its not tough tits at all its source of high amusement.and its free
the parental braying and loud commentary is soundtrack to where i live
why would i need earplugs when i need to listen to know what part to deride onmn

I did a spot of loud parenting earlier. Purely because ds was having a massive tantrum in the shoe shop because the shoes his best mate has were too wide for his feet so he had to have a different pair. People were staring and tutting so I wanted them to know I was dealing with it appropriately

Oooh God, perspective!

I am all for talking to children. I just get bemused by parents overparenting: ie explaining the nutritional qualities of carrots to an 8 months old (wouldn't be bemused if the same discussion went on with a3 yr old).

Loud parenting is better than "stick them facing away from you in the pushchair with a dummy in so I can chat to my mates on my mobile" parenting, which is what I see a lot around here. I'd be giving any loud parents a mental pat on the back! There is the extreme version which is designed to show off, but if they are just chatting to their small child and trying to teach them new words, what is the problem?

The difference is that if you are doing the loud, performance parenting properly, you will not be engaging in eye contact with your child whilst spouting all this knowledge, because you will be too busy trying to make eye contact with any adult watching so that you can look smug.

This is the difference between that and normal talking to your child and teaching them things as you potter around the supermarket.

Freakoid, what did you tell him? You didn't forget to list the pros and cons of living in a consumerIst society?

some are just seeking a reason to be offended
hell if this makes you seethe or cry don't go near baby names threads
some of you have a v fragile disposition if this makes you cry or get all tough titties

I knew it! The evil forwaRd facing pushchairs! I knew they'd come up!

I was walking through a shop with DD once, about a year ago, and she said ' oh look. That looks like a Kandinsky'
The woman looked up startled and said 'it is. How do you know that'

I looked like a massive twat. I had to rush her off.
The reason she knew is because DS1 was doing work based upon Kandinsky for his GCSE and DD (trying to make him talk to her) kept saying 'what ishis name again...who did this one...is that who you want be like then, what's his name..'

To which DS1 would eventually say 'for the 100th time - it's fucking Kandinsky'

So either I looked like a snobby twat who had taken my 6 year old to do art appreciation or I let her reply 'my brother loves fucking Kandinsky' and I look like a foul mouthed harridan

Manicbmc

That is true. Performance parenting is about the audience not the baby.

I was performance parenting with DS1 once and he vomited in my mouth. I totally deserved it. It was like karma.

Amazing some children really DO like Sushi! It's not "dumb" to talk to them about where they're eating or what they're eating! My older DD has loved Sushi since she was tiny.

Sorry if that offends. Not.

yes loud parenting isnt necessarily for child,its all look(hear) how right-on,parent is

See Pag, I would have thought your dd to be very cool.

Of course lots of children like sushi. No one gets hocked by that.

Shocked

She is pretty cool.
She just doesn't know much about art and has said 'fuck' more often than she probably ought

No, talking to your baby is FINE :)

It's the parents who 'performance talk' to their babies. It's loud enough so no one in the area could possibly not notice what a fucking great parent they are

amazingmumof6

Its not talking to children that i object to, its doing in unnecessarily loudly! So loud that those around can't hear themselves think. You know when you try to add up and someone near you starts counting and you lose track, its like that.

Its really nothing to cry about.

As for forward facing pushchairs! My dcs had them. I used to still chat away to them and them back, would lean over or stop buggy and get down to their level if appropriate. Just because a child is facing away from you doesn't mean you can't communicate but does mean the child sees more of the world around them which in turn prompts conversation and observation, so not all bad, if at all.

Well-I am pretty glad that people don't know (or won't admit) a difference because I can continue to be entertained by it!

(I used to go around the supermarket counting carrots into bags etc but no one would ever have heard except my DCs or someone standing right next to us-there is no need for the whole aisle to hear)

fuckadoodle, nooooooo! You are opening a can of worms with the forward facing buggies topic

Mrs Mushroom - I was referring to a previous poster saying about a mum who appeared to be showing off.

I agree with some of the posters who said that using a child to show off is annoying.

I was also trying to point out that educating them about whatever is important to you or interests them shouldn't be criticized.

sorry if that wasn't clear!