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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how "entitled" you were as a teenager.

107 replies

JakeBullet · 30/01/2013 06:19

With all the discussions about welfare changes and the term "entitled" being bandied about I thought back to a time when I truly was "entitled". My teenage years were a charmed life of lie ins, little responsibility and pocket money (okay only £1 but we are going back some years). I didn't know I was born.....

So fast forward to age16 and the school arranged for us to have two weeks of "work experience" with local employers. I can remember being utterly shocked that I would "have to be there at 8:00am which means I am going to have to be up by 6:30am". I actually remember saying to my Mum "they can't expect me to be there that early". I forget her response but it was along the lines of "welcome to the real world love" Grin.

Three years later I was happily working all hours as a student nurse but have never forgotten how precious I was at 16.

OP posts:
Imaginethat · 30/01/2013 06:32

Wow you had it good! I had 2 after school jobs and cycled everywhere - school, music lessons, friends' houses, said jobs. I got my first FT job at 17, moved into shared house at same time and lived off bread & cheese as I had never learnt how to cook.

Mrsrobertduvall · 30/01/2013 06:41

I wasn't entitled at all.
But then it was Leeds, in the seventies.

At 15 , I got my Saturday job in the office in Woolworths, and worked every school holiday as well. Once I had Saturday job, my pocket money stopped and any non school clothes I was expected to buy myself.

Went to look at universities by myself...but then, most people did then.

I wish my mum had allowed me in the kitchen and taught me how to cook..but that was her domain.

therugratref · 30/01/2013 06:54

Not at all. I grew up on a farm, up and dressed at 6 out to do the chores, milk the cow, feed the chooks etc, back in for shower breakfast and school.
Work seemed like breeze in comparison days off lie ins and money Grin

FirstTimeForEverything · 30/01/2013 07:00

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Betrayedbutsurvived · 30/01/2013 07:00

That reminds me of a few years ago when I was a supervisor in a factory. I had a young lad, fresh out of school come to work for me. He was supposed to start at eight, but turned up at nine o'clock, for the first three days. I pulled him in and asked what the problem was, and he explained, in all seriousness, that he got here as soon as he could, but he didn't get up till eight so obviously wasn't going to be able to be there much before nine.

usualsuspect · 30/01/2013 07:10

I worked on the market every Saturday from 13 , worked full time at 16.Left home at 17. So wasn't really entitled at all.

firesidechat · 30/01/2013 07:11

Ha. Entitled? We didn't know the meaning of the word.

I was a teenager in the late seventies/early eighties and lived on a council estate with two disabled parents. Cooked family meals from a very early age, went food shopping everyday and started decorating the house (wallpapering etc) from about 14. When my grandparents died I went with my mum to register the death and organise the funeral with the undertakers.

Money was very tight so I never had trendy clothes. There was a particular skirt with a belt that everyone wore to school and I had to wait till the next door neighbour gave my mum some hand me downs. It was slightly untrendy by them. As you can tell, this has scarred me for life!

I'm making it all sound a bit grim, but we had a happy childhood in many ways and the jobs I had to do meant that I had some good skills for when I left home. My parents were also quite capable and managed to sucessfully raise three children. My dad went out to work and my mum did all the housework.

In comparison my children had a very comfy time growing up.

usualsuspect · 30/01/2013 07:12

That was in the Seventies.

firesidechat · 30/01/2013 07:15

Forgot to say that I also had a paper round and worked in an old people's home.

hiddenhome · 30/01/2013 07:16

Not at all. My mother was a lone parent on sickness benefits. I was her carer because she had mental illness. I had crap clothing and no pocket money. We often ran out of food towards the end of the week. This was in the 80s. I also had to do the shopping, cleaning and accompany her to the psychiatric appointments.

Rosa · 30/01/2013 07:19

Mid 80s got 1 st job washing dishes in local pub (14) usually friday nights and sunday lunchtimes. Progressed to waitress and more hours. Got a summer job and holiday jobs waitress and bar work. Was 16 when got 1st paycheck for a summer holiday job. Also baby sat and had a shared paperound. i went to the 'posh' school was hated by the kids in the local comprehensive who lived round me so either parents had to trek me to friends ( no local transport) or I used my bike to get to work.

Mosman · 30/01/2013 07:23

I had to buy my own school uniform out of my saturday money so entitled, no, understood the value of money yes.
As it happens the tight bastards did me a favour because of course I bought my first house at 18 whilst many friends were still lying in bed til 11am

chewingguminmyhair · 30/01/2013 07:25

I wasn't entitled at all I don't think. First job at 15 and haven't been without a job since.

Petsinmypudenda · 30/01/2013 07:28

Did paper round at 6am from age 11 proper job at job at 15, moved out at 16. Never got pocket money

Not entitled, my mother was shit so we grew up fast

nagynolonger · 30/01/2013 07:29

I was brought up in an era when many including DMum thought an education was wasted on a girl. A girl would become a mother and be supported by a husband. This is how many people thought in the 50s and 60s. Being the eldest I was expected to help with looking after my younger siblings and I did learn how to iron, sew and cook. All that was taught at school as well. Only boys got to do technical drawing, woodwork and metalwork.

I went all the way through junior school thinking I wasn't very clever. There were lots of clever boys and a few clever (and posh!) girls. I may have surprised everyone and passed 11+ but in the area I lived it was scrapped before I got the chance.

Secondary school really suited me and I did very well. I still didn't think I was intelligent but I worked hard and loved it. I could still have left school at 15 but DDad said I could stay on the extra year to take O levels. DMum was not too pleased she even made me work my summer holidays in the factory she worked at because she had already arranged a job for me. She gave me a good slap when I refused and DDad had to stop the ensuing fightBlush. I had no choice and worked for 7 weeks that summer. Strangely I really enjoyed it and I even thanked mum later!

The next summer I worked again at the factory and the owner escourted me round and made me show everyone the letter with my results. I got 6 O level passes, and 1 CSE grade 1. Mum was very proud but not proud enough to let me do A levels. So I left school and went to work in a bank.

I have never felt entitled and I never let my own DC become that way either. I have/will always make sure they get the chance to go to university if that's what they want. On the understanding that DH and I will help but any debt will be theirs. Also DD was given just the same encouragement as her brothers.

Smudging · 30/01/2013 07:32

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LouMae · 30/01/2013 07:32

Yes I was quite stroppy and entitled at 15/16. The world was against me and it was poor, poor me (despite the fact that I had it very very easy). I grew up a bit when I left school at 16 and grew up for the better when I left home at 18.

FarelyKnuts · 30/01/2013 07:32

I don't think I was even slightly entitled. I had a very ill parent and spent time caring for him and cooking for the family from a young age. I got a PT job at 14yo and worked it as well as school full time and was expected to pay towards board and lodgings out of it plus anything I needed in terms of school/clothes etc.
Left home at 16yo and worked three jobs to put myself through college at 17yo.

MrsBW · 30/01/2013 07:35

Nope, not entitled at all. Worked from 14, at 16 my job paid for my bus to college every day.

Never had the latest stuff. Took lunch to school in a airier bag (before I was signed up for free school lunches).

Mum was poorly (again, mental health) so I was the adult from an early age. Dad had walked out before I was 2 and I was an only child.

Put myself through university with very little help (gran sent me some money, bless her in the belief it would stop me having to take out student loans - it didn't) I wouldn't have been able o go if I'd been a year younger (i.e. the year the remaining small grants were scrapped and tuition fees introduced).

Lots and lots of people far worse off than me, but no I wasn't entitled.

MrsBW · 30/01/2013 07:36

Carrier, not airier!

VBisme · 30/01/2013 07:45

I Blush when I think how entitles I was.

Original poster
JakeBullet · 30/01/2013 07:48

Just me then Grin......I was just reflecting on how easy I had it as a teenager. I did a Saturday job while at college but was obviously pampered judging by some of the replies here Grin.

My Mum definitely did not bring us up to lie idle though, it was always expected that when we left school or college or uni that we would go out to work. I can remember her frog marching my brother (sort of) down to the jobcentre when he left school, he had a job in no time....it hadn't been quite his plan! Then he went in the army and appreciated what a soft and comfy life he had at home.

OP posts:
WaitingForMe · 30/01/2013 07:52

Looking back my dad was brilliant. We had a farm and he paid me £3 p/h to creosote fences and regularly argued at how fast I worked. One day I thought fuck this for a game of soldiers and found a waitressing job that paid £4 p/h plus I got tips. It was a half hour bike ride, twenty minute train journey and ten minute walk but that was easy after all the bloody fences.

So I wasn't entitled at all and worked my arse off. As it turned out he'd set up a trust fund when I was a child and my uni education was taken care of but he didn't want me to grow up to be a twat!

flow4 · 30/01/2013 08:02

I had a privileged childhood, and stayed in full-time education a long time, but I don't think I ever felt 'entitled'. I worked in babysitting jobs from the age of 13, plus full-time in the summer holidays from the age of 17, and a part-time job along side my degree.

I've thought about this often over the past few years, because I have two teenage sons, and one of them does seem to feel 'entitled'. I think the feeling is created because they are constantly surrounded by images of much more affluent lifestyles - every time they turn on the TV they see all the things they don't have - and they're left feeling dissatisfied with what they do have. It's sad.

worsestershiresauce · 30/01/2013 08:11

I wasn't entitled at all. At home I did most of the cooking, washing up, and a fair amount of cleaning and ironing. I cycled everywhere as my mum 'wasn't a taxi service' and had both an early morning paper round and Saturday job from 13. I also baby sat. During the easter and summer holiday I worked on a fruit picking farm, and at xmas I did turkey plucking. I also left home at 16 to live in lodgings (which I paid for myself), and put myself through 6th form and university. Whilst at uni I worked every holiday in an accounts office to pay for my halls of residence fees and books.

I never once felt hard done by, and the attitude of teenagers and students today pisses me off.