to think these children shouldn't be home alone for a fortnight!

[mumsnit]

My friend has started to regularly go away on holiday with her new partner and leaving her two kids at home. She was away 4 times last year and has just gone away again. The eldest is 15 and is doing her GCSE s this year, and the youngest is 12. They are going to school and managing to cook for themselves etc but she hasn't asked anyone to keep an eye on them officially or anything. Her ex p is around sometimes but lives elsewhere with his new family.

I'm really concerned about their welfare. Am I being over the top about this or should I be worried? I have tried to talk to her but she's obsessed with this bloke (who couldn't really care less about her kids ) and she can't see past his needs.

that's very wrong and illegal I think.

you should definitely report it.

www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/prosecuting_cases_of_child_abuse/#kidnapping
NOT ILLEGAL

and will divert two Social Workers from working on their existing case load for a couple of days.

PS I'm not saying it's right. Its bloody selfish and stupid of my their mother to bugger off on holiday with the new man expecting eight year old teenage kids to fend for themselves.
BUT no good will come of getting the authorities involved.

YANBU. When I was 15 a friend was left home alone for about two weeks with her 12/13 year old sister while her mum went off on some jaunt with a bloke. The friend, who was unstable and easily led, had the mother of all house parties and the house was trashed so badly that it caused thousands of pounds worth of structural damage. It sounds as if these kids are more mature but not worth taking the risk. Haven't had time to read the whole thread, sorry, but do you have ex DP contact details?

your advice is poor talkinpeace,duty teams are staffed for assessment like this won't divert resources
do you have an agenda for not contacting sw?the judgement call sits with the assessing sw

Why should SS take the place of a possibly perfectly capable father?

The OP says mum does this regularly. If it is reported that SW can check the kids are ok and when the parent returns go round and discuss with them the dangers of doing this. It may all be fine but if anything happened the OP would never forgive herself.

Well I get what TalkingPeace2 is saying. You know, in the real world.

If there is a perfectly capable father looking after them then SW will go away and leave them to it. However OP suggests he is not residing with them.

Report it to SS right now.

They are both too young to be left alone for any length of time, even if they are skyping/ texting etc

Do you have to be RP to be a parent?

If the 15 year old is 15 years and 11 months, in 4 weeks time she will be old enough to leave home.
Its a bit like sell by dates on food - common sense not knee jerk.

And my reasoning for my views is that if SS had taken me away from my Mum when she was off partying I'd have NEVER EVER forgiven ANYBODY involved with it. I felt safe. I was safe. I grew up fine. Weird but fine.

it's nor illegal,but social circumstance,support in place,provisions made
is there adequate food in house,what would happen in emergency or illness
if concerned do report this,whether not she friend is immaterial

However we don't know exactly what age the eldest is. She may equally have just turned 15 and not be very sensible. That's why we have SS - to assess the safety of children. It may have worked out okay for you but it doesn't always.

Worra - Can I ask, (genuine question) why do you think she is not breaking the law by leaving a 12 year old to be cared for by an under 16 for 2 weeks. I don't know what the law says, but I'd assume that this was not legal.

Because she isn't breaking the law

Unless they've been left in danger, with no money, no food, no heating, no means to get to school, no emergency contact numbers etc.

What she's done isn't right imo, but it's not necessarily illegal.

I bet they haven't been left sufficient money.

Poor sods.

I imagine the DC feel a bit abandoned. Their mother seems to fucking things up generally, but being fucked-up rarely warrants official intervention. It's not illegal to be a not-all-that-great parent, much as mumsnet would like it to be.

I agree with TP2. Mind you, my parents also left me looking after younger sibs from the age of 8 so my boundaries might be a bit woolly on this. The thing is, calling the police/SS/school will not make this mother more dedicated or her boyfriend less of a bully. And the DC can access help if needed, as TP2 points out.

I'm guessing they'll appreciate knowing you're on hand, OP. I quite liked the idea of inviting them over for dinner :) Call SS if it makes you feel better, but my advice is really to maintain a background presence for them - when she's home as well as away.

No-one's saying it's a good idea, or even right.

But it isn't illegal.

And SS will ask other adults to help in the order of father, grandparents, etc.

And to be honest, if she is such a shit mother and her boyfriend such a bully, why doesn't the DC's father use this as a golden opportunity to be a dad?

doesnt matter when she 16,under child protection under 18=child.or 16o if married
this situation needs assessed,the judgment,maturity,understanding of adolescent
adolescents vary in ability,maturity and problem solving.all different,all react differently

Linerunner - maybe the Dad is a shit dad.

Lucky kids.

I'd report this,unequivocally.absolutely no qualms
there needs to be an assessment of situation
and just because some on here were unsupervised etc doesn't mean these kids will be ok

and if OP reported back that the Assessment of the situation was "do nothing" ....

wow thanks all for the advice and replies... have just been around to see them and ex partners car is in the drive. I guess while he's keeping an eye on things I can't really push it further. I will monitor it though - 2 weeks is a long time..