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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For someone to put their baby in a car seat at a baby group?

62 replies

Geekster · 28/01/2013 13:03

Hi we recently moved house and I took my DD to a new baby group today. It was like being back at school, people were told to stop talking it was very regimented and this poor lady with a very young baby but him in his car seat just for the last 10mims as it was the only way to sooth him at the time, only to be told it wasn't allowed! She took him out, felt sorry for her as why should she and he was only tiny. I said to her put him back in if you want to I'll stick up for you (as did several others). If it was me I would have told them were to shove it, but as a new Mum like this lady I wouldn't have had the confidence to do it when my DD was that small. I would now and I won't be going back there again.

OP posts:
MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 28/01/2013 13:05

Who told her she wasn't allowed Shock

Original poster
Geekster · 28/01/2013 13:06

The women who run it.

OP posts:
LifeofPo · 28/01/2013 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LifeofPo · 28/01/2013 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tailtwister · 28/01/2013 13:07

Oh dear. Sound like one to avoid!

Iggly · 28/01/2013 13:08

WTF?! Stop going and maybe they'll get the message that this isn't on.

FunnysInLaJardin · 28/01/2013 13:08

why on earth wasn't she allowed to put her baby in the car seat? What kind of group was it?

HecateWhoopass · 28/01/2013 13:09

i suggest you start your own group!

That one does not sound fun.

Fakebook · 28/01/2013 13:09

Seriously? I'd send an email and complain.

Startail · 28/01/2013 13:09

My DDs were babies before it was decided that sitting in car seats was evil.

The babies all sat in being rocked with feet in their car seats while we drank our coffee.

DD did this every evening while I ate my dinner.

I think it's just as well, I don't intend to have any more DCs.
I think I'd be permanently in detention Wink

IWorshipSatin · 28/01/2013 13:09

It sounds like a Little Britain sketch or something. That poor woman I would've cried when I had a newborn if someone told me off at a baby group (it took me literally weeks to pluck up the courage to attend one)

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 28/01/2013 13:10

Are they some sort of professionals or just normal Mums who run a baby group?

AnyaKnowIt · 28/01/2013 13:11

I once went to a baby group where my dd (15 months at the time) was told off for moving a teddy bear from one side of the room to another.

Original poster
Geekster · 28/01/2013 13:15

They were professionals, it was the first (and last) time I will be going. It was linked to a children's centre. It was a movers group were babies lie there and you sing songs with them, was plenty of room for this tired unhappy baby to be in his car seat without causing any disruption whatsoever.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 28/01/2013 13:15

Was this an NCT "Bumps and Babies" one? (Although I think they've changed the name now... the one up to 6 months anyway) I used to go to one and it was specifically intended to provide topics to talk about, think about etc other than the usual sleep/feeding, so they didn't really encourage you to talk except for at set times, and they used to put people into groups so that they could meet different people than the ones they'd come in with.

Buggies and car seats had to be out of the way as there wasn't much room, it was around half and half who held their baby and who had them on a blanket on the floor - I can't remember if people put their babies into car seats before the end, but I can't imagine it would have been commented on as a one off (and so close to the end and clearly being the only way the baby was happy!) One lady who was there at the same time as me had twins and would leave them sleeping in the pushchair if they happened to be sleeping.

BertieBotts · 28/01/2013 13:17

Ah ok slightly different then, but still sounds like a focused group rather than a general one. Still you'd think they would be a bit more flexible if they're used to working with little babies Confused

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 28/01/2013 13:17

Jesus, sounds like Baby Bootcamp! I wouldn't be going back that's for sure. Maybe try and get some contact numbers for the other poor woman who was told off (wtf) and meet up elsewhere. And complain to whoever is responsible for this sham of a group.

ubik · 28/01/2013 13:18

Are car seats 'bad' now?

I can't keep up. I remember the HV wittering on about 'tummy time' when I had DD3 and I was just Hmm

Psammead · 28/01/2013 13:20

Welldone for getting out alive. Would you be brave enough to give the leader some constructive criticism?

MoodyDidIt · 28/01/2013 13:23

omg i would have told her to fuck off and mind her own goddam business sod off

was it a sure start group? i ask that as me and my friend boycotted the one near us because the worker told us off for "not interacting with your children enough" Shock ffs we were chatting and our DCs were happily playing together

sure start groups seem to be there solely to judge mums and tell them how to parent. pisses me right off.

DizzyHoneyBee · 28/01/2013 13:23

Ten minutes in a car seat is not a disaster! Apparently it's not good for babies to spend ages in a car seat but 10 minutes at a playgroup FFS? YANBU, the organisers are.

MrsMushroom · 28/01/2013 13:34

I KNEW you were going to say it was linked to a children's centre. And they wonder why they're not meeting their targets! Yanbu

honeytea · 28/01/2013 13:56

I have been advised to keep my ds in a car seat to sleep at night times and to only put him down in his car seat at day times rather than being put down flat on his back because he is recovering from rs virus.

I know it's an unusual situation but if they were that dangerous I don't think I'd be advised to do it.

MoodyDidIt · 28/01/2013 14:01

Lol @ mrsmushroom...you thought same as me

BertieBotts · 28/01/2013 16:10

It sounds though like they wanted the babies on the floor for a specific reason though. Okay, no reason to refuse someone using a carseat for an unsettled baby or for the last few minutes of the class. But if someone left their baby in the car seat for the whole activity it would defeat the point, so I can see them having a blanket rule. They could just do with being a little less strict with it.

Honey have you seriously been advised that? Shock It's very dangerous for babies to sleep in car seats overnight. Raising the head of the cot/moses basket is fine and would serve the same purpose.

See article about risks here