to be judgy pants about people that have tattoos and keep getting more, especially women??

[dontsqueezetheteabag]

I hate tattoos. Whilst I appreciate everyone has a right to their own taste and choices I still cannot get over the fact that people have them in places where they are visible.

A colleague of mine has just returned to work after M leave with a horrific tattoo from her wrist to her elbow. How can she go out and meet clients looking like that?? It can be seen through tops and obviously below short sleeved tops.

What I really don't like is seeing lovely brides on their wedding days, strapless dresses and tattoos on their upper arms and backs..... urgh!!!!!!

Anyone else with me??

""That's one of my difficulties with tattoos - I worry that many people with tattoos are not happy in their own skin - they feel the need to change their skin in a painful and expensive way.""

Like the staid drab conformist going through a midlife-crisis who feels that by having a tattoo he/she is somehow buying into some alternative culture. Like its going to stave off his advancing years/pull him a nice bit of skirt.

Its the motivations which interest me. Doing it for reasons, as per the example above, is achingly sad.

Blimey moistened do you know people like that?

A lot of my friends have them We are not alternative I dress in a very simple fashiony way a bit like an older kate moss as do my friends. We are all glossy hair and skinny jeans/cashmere jumpers! I know a few men who have bought vintage cars but I think getting a tattoo to pull a bit of skirt? Really? You sound like it may have happened to you!

I would think that that example maybe comes from people supressing who they really are their whole lives. If it was easier and more accepted to express yourself in the first place without being judged, more people would do it. No need for a mid-life crisis if you've always been yourself and are living life truthfully to yourself.

My mother turned 50 and started getting tattoos - it was because she had been repressing who she was her whole life to conform and couldn't stand it anymore. At 50 she has realised that actually, she has never really figured out who she is. She was always to busy 'fitting in'. Obviously this isn't the case for everybody, and tattoos are by no means the only form of personal expression, nor are they right for everyone. ut there's such a narrow 'fitting in' box in our culture that it can be hard for people who want to express themselves thusly to feel that they can do so, hence it bursting out at a certain point when they can't do it anymore.

Again, obviously not always the case, but it can be.

As I said before, like noddy and her friends, even only one or a few small tattoos are still just that person expressing themselves. That's all it really boils down to!

Ahrg, please excuse typos and seeming grammatical errors that are also typos

There are many reasons why people look the way they do. But it is not something to be so nasty about you can say you don't like things without assassinating the persons character. I don't think hugely overweight looks good in certain things but I have loads of lovely friends who are heavy ,gorgeous and are perfectly happy in their skins and would laugh at me and my low carb lunch! But I wouldn't like it for myself. It doesn't change how I see them professionally though or in any other way it is just a visual thing.

"we are under great pressure to conform to a view of what is desirable in women"

oh absolutely - and some of that pressure is evident in this thread, the idea that tattoos are fine, but not on women, or if on women, then not anywhere anyone else can see them... and so on.

I'm all for questioning pressure to look a certain way, but lots of people have a strong aesthetic sense and enjoy pretty things. Does chocco think it a shame that we decorate our houses and put pictures on the walls? Does she look at a lovingly tended garden and think how much better it would be if it were all scrub and weeds? I could go on. You can strip everything back to bare essentials but I think that would make life very dull indeed.

All the differences makes life so interesting. I live in a city where there are so many different types of people and I love that.

Sadly so noddy...

Well said Emma!

I've deliberately steered clear of the "especially on women" part of the OP to avoid an anneurism. I don't have the energy for that level of women-hating today.

As noddy has alluded to, their is also of course the argument for pure aesthetics. Art is part of humanity, and humans reflect this daily.

*there is of course

What is wrong with me today?

What did your partner get a tattoo and leave you or have you been hit on by an inked mid lifer?

I am leaving this thread for now as I think its not debate its a bit nasty! And I need to dye my eyelashes while I have a spare hour

noddy it's a shame that you feel you need to leave, but I understand why you do.

I agree with the op. Tattoos are not unique anymore - most of them look horrendous on both men and women. There's nothing nicer than a toned beach body with golden glistening flesh - the tarttoos (accidental typo but I like it) ruin the whole effect.
However, what I think is my opinion - if people want to draw all over themselves, let them. They must also understand that they may be judged unfavourably in many situations including employment - this may be unfair, but I'm sure it happens.

Jaxxcy have you read the rest of the thread? That's an extremely narrow ideal of beauty you have there. I, like many heavily tattooed people, have a professional job and wear a suit to work. That is restricts employment is a myth, unless the person hiring is as judgemental as you. Fortunately, that is a rarity.

EmmaBemma - you're making my point - "lovingly tended is great" - I'm sure some some heavily 'inked' people "lovingly" plan and enjoy their tattoos. But, I bet there are others who have them because of the need they feel to make a statement. Some people who have that need are insecure (or not as private as other people which is different)

Ultimately, the most secure behaviour comes from doing what you want to do because you enjoy doing that thing and for no other reason.

Sacks would be pretty boring I suppose - we'd all be decorating them :o

Sorry - "lovingly tended" is great - because that person has enjoyed tending.

I am a big believer that tattoos should all be unique, and that 'flash' should be used purely to generate ideas. It should be personal to you.

choco that wa smy thoughts about the sacks! It's human nature to want to express ourselves with our appearance, and people who 'do nothing' - for example, don't dye their hair or wear makeup - are expressing themselves exactly as those with modifications are. It's just a different way of doing so!

It depends on their motivation. A plain sack because you're happy with a plain sack is just that. You might just not be a very visual person. A plain sack because you want to be seen as deliberately not joining in with the sack-decorating is making a statement.

It's the same the other way round - a sack decorated in pattern/picture/colour X purely because the person likes X is not a statement. Whereas a sack made to be X because it's not Y or Z or because the person wants to join in with the X group (tribal) is making a statement.

I like this sack analogy.

Or being competitive - making theirs more elaborate/brighter/etc than the others.

And everyone can decorate their sack however they choose, and no one judges them for what they do with their sacks