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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be judgy pants about people that have tattoos and keep getting more, especially women??

532 replies

dontsqueezetheteabag · 28/01/2013 09:08

I hate tattoos. Whilst I appreciate everyone has a right to their own taste and choices I still cannot get over the fact that people have them in places where they are visible.

A colleague of mine has just returned to work after M leave with a horrific tattoo from her wrist to her elbow. How can she go out and meet clients looking like that?? It can be seen through tops and obviously below short sleeved tops.

What I really don't like is seeing lovely brides on their wedding days, strapless dresses and tattoos on their upper arms and backs..... urgh!!!!!!

Anyone else with me??

OP posts:
AgathaF · 30/01/2013 10:40

So are you "secretly envious of others who are so secure in themselves that they don't feel the need to think about or make much effort with their appearance" then chocco?

I wear make-up, I henna my hair, I have a few piercings (although none that are obvious when I'm dressed), I paint my nails. I don't think any of that indicates that I am either secure or insecure about my appearance. I think it just indicates that I like those things. I admire women who let their hair go grey naturally and think many look really beautiful, but I know that, out of choice, it's not for me. Same applies to women who don't wear make-up.

noddyholder · 30/01/2013 10:41

I make loads of effort and have a great life doing other things. 10 minutes in the morning and evening doing things for yourself is not a negative thing its a positive to treat yourself well and feel good about yourself. You really do sound unhappy and negative Sad It can't all be about people with tattoos. There are lots of individual fashion styles and looks that aren't my thing but I enjoy other people expressing themselves and seeing other people happy is great

AgathaF · 30/01/2013 10:42

I am actually quite shocked that people still judge others on such inconsequential things as tattoos or piercings. I don't know why I am shocked since these threads make an appearance with depressing regularity, but I am.

sunshineandfreedom · 30/01/2013 10:43

choco - I resent the implication that that's why I have tattoos. It's my body, and I use it to express myself as I see fit; people with 'normal' hair/make-up etc are doing exactly the same thing as me, just in a different way. My hair means I don't have to do anything with it (I never could get it to behave before I had locks) and I rarely wear make-up.

I have changed my skin to express myself in the same way that some people use their clothes and hair to express themselves. My tattoos express me in the same way that I'm expressing myself when I dance or sing; I love them, and they make me smile when I look in the mirror. I am an artistic person, and I enjoy bringing what is in my heart and my personal history into art or writing; I also choose to wear it on my skin.

Enjoy your body; use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it - it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

sunshineandfreedom · 30/01/2013 10:46

I think even people with only one tattoo are doing that - bringing what's inside themselves out. What could possibly be wrong with that?

noddyholder · 30/01/2013 10:48

I dont dress in an alternative way at all and am quite conventionally fashionable love clothes and hair etc always have and the tattoo is just another thing I did. I spend a fair bit of time and money on clothes and make up etc but like the other posters I enjoy it and don;t feel I have to

chocoluvva · 30/01/2013 10:54

I enjoy being serious about things :o

I do envy people who are happy to spend the minimum time and money on their appearance (but haven't given up on themselves because they're depressed or similar)

Then when they do get dressed and made up for a special occasion it has a greater impact.

"it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own" - for SOME people it is.

sunshineandfreedom · 30/01/2013 10:56

Weirdly I sometimes wonder if its also partly because I'm lazy Grin

Like, my hair doesn't require me to do anything with is other than wash it; it was always a right tangly pain to brush that took far too long every morning. I rarely wear make up, but because of my hair and tattoos if I'm wearing jeans and a vest top I look like I've made an effort because of them! Even though I've done literally nothing.

A happy side effect, methinks.

chocoluvva · 30/01/2013 10:57

I suppose some people have a stronger need to express themselves than others.

sunshineandfreedom · 30/01/2013 10:57

(That quote is from a Baz Luhrman song by the way!)

chocoluvva · 30/01/2013 10:59

sunshine, that had never occurred to me.

sunshineandfreedom · 30/01/2013 10:59

I can't understand why you wouldn't want to, but equally I do understand that some people don't, and I don't think any less of those who don't chose to like I do, just like I wouldn't expect them to think less of me. Sadly, apparently, some others don't extend me the same courtesy...

choco would you care to elabortae on what you mean by your last post?

sunshineandfreedom · 30/01/2013 11:00

*elaborate

...and I meant the "I suppose some people have a stronger need to express themselves than others." because I'm not entirely sure what you meant Smile

Spero · 30/01/2013 11:08

I don't really understand this attitude -o you don't like tattoos, so you don't like me.

I don't like tattoos. But I have friends who have them. I don't like olives either but allow my friends to eat them.

Of course yo have the freedom to express yourself anyway you chose. But you can't expect everyone else to shower you with appropriation for your choices. We are all allowed to decide what rings our bells.

bringmeroses · 30/01/2013 11:14

Each to their own! Noone has forced them into it. I don't get it either but perhaps I am missing out Grin

sunshineandfreedom · 30/01/2013 11:18

Spero
Of course yo have the freedom to express yourself anyway you chose. But you can't expect everyone else to shower you with appropriation for your choices. We are all allowed to decide what rings our bells.

I think there's a difference between expecting to be "shower[ed] with appropriation" and expecting to be respected and not reffered to as "classless" or "urgh"... I don't expect anyone to compliment me on my tattoos, but I don't expect anyone to judge or insult me for them either.

chocoluvva · 30/01/2013 11:21

I think people with a lot of tattoos are reaching out to other like-minded people. ( I suppose that's my version of the 'tribal theory' that some other posters have mentioned).

That will make some but not all happy.

EmmaBemma · 30/01/2013 11:24

"But yes, I really think it's a shame that so many people - myself included - feel the need to make such an effort over their appearance."

I think that's a bit odd. Would you prefer it if we all schlepped around in burlap sacks with holes cut out for our necks and arms? Self-adornment and decoration has been around in one form or another for as long as we have. It's an impulse, certainly, but one that brings a lot of people a lot of satisfaction.

Spero · 30/01/2013 11:25

I am not judging or insulting YOU if I say I don't like tattoos. I generally don't. In my line of work I see a lot of people with very poorly done tattoos which are very visible and I don't like them. Does that mean I refuse to greet them courteously, talk to them like humans and lots of time find them nice agreeable people? Of course not.

But I don't like tattoos. I am sure there are lots of things I wear which others don't like, but thankfully most people are prepared to approach you as a human being first.

Peaches Geldof may be a lovely woman but I still reserve the right to think she has covered her body with what looks like the footprints of a drunken spider who fell into some ink.

As many others have said, if they have chosen their tattoo for them, it makes them smile, then quite rightly they won't give a stuff about my views.

EmmaBemma · 30/01/2013 11:26

I'm not reaching out to anyone with my tattoos. I rarely even show them, though they're quite extensive. Though I suppose I do feel a kinship with other tattooed people - it's a talking point, like children are when you become a parent, I guess.

Spero · 30/01/2013 11:27

Emma, I see what choco is saying - nothing wrong with adornment and wanting to look good but I agree the pendulum has swung too far, especially for women and we are under great pressure to conform to a view of what is desirable in women- god forbid you age, coverup that grey hair etc. and that is a shame.

sunshineandfreedom · 30/01/2013 11:32

Spero you don't, but plenty on this thread have said they do, which I what I meant - not you specifically! Smile

You're totally right about the pressure of conformity on women.

chocoluvva · 30/01/2013 11:36

EmmaBemma, sacks would be great! Provided that they were comfy and kept the wearer at a suitable temperature. Think of the money and time we'd save.

But I know some people are very visual and enjoy "self-adornment and decoration". Multiple tattoos and piercings are an extreme form of that.

Our society has become more visual and there's a lot of pressure to present yourself as x,y,z because we all know that, like it or not we are judged on our appearance.

sunshineandfreedom · 30/01/2013 11:38

The way I look is for me though, choco. When I used to care what other people thought I dressed extremely conservatively and went out of my way to look 'normal' as I worried that I would be judged for looking different if I expressed myself.

I eventually realised that I was giving society's expectations more control than I had over my own body, and started to let my appearance reflect who I am instead of who society expected or wanted me to be.

sunshineandfreedom · 30/01/2013 11:41

By which I mean I am presenting myself as I am, instead of 'the way I want to be seen', as it were.