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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use dd's birthday gift cards on myself?

302 replies

Lira · 26/01/2013 20:58

DD (5) recently had a birthday and a giant party. She got a loads of presents from family (grandparents always spoil her rotten), and ended up with either presents/money/giftcards from her school friends that came to her party.

She doesn't need a single thing. She's got clothes for the next year, and a stack of vouchers from Christmas to get her new clothes and shoes when she eventually does need them. She doesn't need any new toys/books etc either.

My house is swimming in toys that haven't even been opened since her party 3 weeks ago.

My Hoover died today. So i was thinking of using 3 of the Argos vouchers she got (£30 worth) to help buy a new one. They expire by December anyway, and i can't see her needing anything from Argos before then.

I couldn't bring myself to touch her birthday money, however, as that can always be saved.

My friend reckons i should just 'borrow' the cards and pay dd the £30 back when i can.

But i honestly don't think she'll miss them and shouldn't feel obliged to 'owe' dd back in too much of a hurry.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 19:57

I certainly don't.

With 1 voucher we get every year for the dc I do and did put names on the tag.Others I don't.If I've gone over my normal budget they're still financially better off even taking the voucher off.Sometimes we get cash or cheques to spend at our discretion,vouchers aren't a whole lot different if you've gone over budget on a special item.

I've given vouchers and I'm not the slightest bit bothered,if I was I'd go to the effort to buy a present,wrap it and send it.

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2013 20:00

So polka do your children never get a say in how they spend cash/vouchers given to them, or do you ask/tell them first that's what you'll be doing with them?

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2013 20:01

Either way, your scenario is really rather different than just taking them and spending it on yourself, some new towels etc..

greenpostit · 27/01/2013 20:05

The family including dd needs a Hoover. Spend the £30 Argos voucher on it and forget about it.

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 20:14

They're too young but I may start saying if you want x item which is more than we normally spend you can pay us back with pocket money,vouchers etc over the year. So they have a choice which would be a bit of a no brainier.

I have done that when DS wanted some Lego from Legoland. He couldn't buy it elsewhere but I'm not in the habit of spending £20 just because on 1 child.He then got given £5 voucher for his bday,I told him then it would be going towards his Lego and he was fine.

This year said son hardly had any Xmas presents because most money from relations was pooled.

My children do very well at Christmas,there "say" is asking for a bike,IPod which is way more than we like to spend.Said children are lucky we make the odd exception,if they made a fuss over a £10 voucher I 'd be pretty disappointed to be frank and would say no bike next time then.

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 20:15

And yes my dc like ironed clothes for school so said vouchers were well spent,we got an iron for all of us and they get crease free clothes.Smile

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 20:16

There not old enough to have a say but they are old enough to have £300 spent on a bike?

pumpkinsweetie · 27/01/2013 20:21

I would normally say yabu, but as you really need a hoover and your dd wants for nothing it's best you use the vouchers instead of getting into debt.

I'm sure she will get £30 spent on her at some point anyway.

Please DON'T put yourself in debt, thats worse for your dd than borrowing some vouchers.

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 20:24

Yes they are as said son's only sport is mountain biking with his dad.He is now a small adult size and a proper one that means he can keep up with his dad and last a few years was £300.

We didn't spend the whole £300 as we pooled all his money but it was still more than the £50 we like to spend.Considering his sister got his old bike which saved us ££££ we only spent £100 out of our pocket but it was still £50 more than normal so he got an iron instead of tat from Argos.

As we buy them nothing all year round and biking keeps him fit and is a family activity we didn't mind going over this once.

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2013 20:32

So they're too young to worry about how to spend the money, but old enough not to make a fuss?

It makes no sense and it utterly illogical that you wouldn't buy them a gift, simply because they wanted to keep a £10 gift that was given to them, for them

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 20:34

I'm guessing he's about 12/13 ish then if he's needing a adults one?

Perfectly old enough to understand about money and have it explained to him that £300 is a lot of money and that I'd he wants it he will have to put his money towards it and perfectly old enough to be able to say to people who send him money or vouchers that he is putting it all towards a bike.

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2013 20:36

You used your sons money to buy an iron so he has crease free clothes?

Jesus christ, you couldn't make this shit up.

Irrespective of what you spend on his bike, this is a really nasty thing to do.

And you spent £50 more than you normally would so you'll his gift certificates/vouchers cash not until you get your £50 back... is that right?

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2013 20:36

You'll keep his

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 20:38

Nope he's just turned 9.

It's a small framed adult one.

Re the money we did tell people beforehand,re the voucher which came after he didn't even know he'd had it

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 20:41

No Damn we haven't carried on after Christmas so we still spent over,as I said they do very well.

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2013 20:41

Yes, you sound lovely polka

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 20:42

9 is old enough to understand money in the absence of any differculties

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 20:43

Yep my 9 year olds do understand money.

TreadOnTheCracks · 27/01/2013 20:43

I would use the vouchers and put £30 in her building society account as soon as I could.

skullcandy · 27/01/2013 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 20:52

Damn yes we are lovely.

The dc always come first-dp and I never have new clothes,go out or spend money on us-ever!Every last penny goes on our dc.They never want for anything whether it be football boots,piano lessons,books,clothes,school trips,tap,swimming,comics etc,etc.

However we're not made of money and the dc can't expect whatever they want. We will do our best to fund hobbies and things they really want but they need to value money and at times they will need to either help out,save or go without.

I'm sure if it had come up my son would have understood and been fine as we've raised them that way.As it was it never came up.Vouchers came through the post,iron blew up,we had no spare cash after Christmas so we bought the iron. It's called life.I guess we could have made dtwin1 go without football boots and miss matches instead.

2catsand1rabbit · 27/01/2013 20:53

Use it for the hoover. I wouldn't have any guilt about it. Like another poster said 'the family needs a hoover.'

cantspel · 27/01/2013 20:53

I remember a very similar thread to this on the martin lewis site and then i couldn't believe the number of people who thought it was ok to take christmas/birthday that had been given to their dc.

I thought we bought our children up to believe it is wrong to steal?

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 20:56

If they've had the equivalent spent on them it's not stealing.My dc had the equivalent and more spent on them.

Anyhooo sooooo couldn't give a shit.

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 20:56

Polka sorry but you don't sound very lovely.