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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use dd's birthday gift cards on myself?

302 replies

Lira · 26/01/2013 20:58

DD (5) recently had a birthday and a giant party. She got a loads of presents from family (grandparents always spoil her rotten), and ended up with either presents/money/giftcards from her school friends that came to her party.

She doesn't need a single thing. She's got clothes for the next year, and a stack of vouchers from Christmas to get her new clothes and shoes when she eventually does need them. She doesn't need any new toys/books etc either.

My house is swimming in toys that haven't even been opened since her party 3 weeks ago.

My Hoover died today. So i was thinking of using 3 of the Argos vouchers she got (£30 worth) to help buy a new one. They expire by December anyway, and i can't see her needing anything from Argos before then.

I couldn't bring myself to touch her birthday money, however, as that can always be saved.

My friend reckons i should just 'borrow' the cards and pay dd the £30 back when i can.

But i honestly don't think she'll miss them and shouldn't feel obliged to 'owe' dd back in too much of a hurry.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 18:11

For fucks sake lira stop being so bloody dramatic, taking out a debt on your credit card is not your only option.

Use the vouchers just give your dd the money back on your next payday.

Its hardly rocket science, I'm pretty sure not one person on this thread has said its not ok to buy the vouchers from your dd, not one person has said its not ok to use them if you pay her back ASAP.

BegoniaBampot · 27/01/2013 18:16

dizzy, whether you agree or not I think your use of words 'I still would never steal from my children' is horrible and way OTT in respect to the Op. Ok , you don't 'steal' but you do sound like a bitch.

HollyBerryBush · 27/01/2013 18:20

Just a question here, at what point does your childs money, become 'their' money?

Well I dont know about you lot, but my childrens accounts (ex Woolwich now Barclays) are in the name of Mrs H B Bush o/a Bush Jnr - and legally it's my money, held on account of Bush Jnr (should I decide to make it over when they are 18.)

This is an insane thread really. Comparing and elderly adult to a child. Or someones ex who stole puggy bank money. It isn't the same at all.

I see no point in dd's vouchers sitting in a drawer, not being used, when i could use them for something tomorrow.

I agree

I suppose my only other options are to get myself in to debt by buying one on credit from a catalogue

This lot would rather you did that - perhaps you go to a loan shark or hawk yourself in a red light district too. >rolls eyes

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 18:21

What else is she supposed to call taking something with no intention of returning it?

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 18:27

Holly, so is any money I put in savings for my children,it becomes there's after I have actually given it to them until that time its my money but money that already belongs to them is different because it has been given to them.

That's what there own personal accounts are for.

atacareercrossroads · 27/01/2013 18:36

DO NOT get into debt for a Hoover. Use the vouchers, replace when you're better off financially.

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 18:42

God I've one this loads of times and couldn't give a stuff what anybody thinks. Personally I think vouchers are a lazy option anyway and I'm not even keen on them going to shops just to spend for spending sake.

We spent a fortune on the dc this year as 1 needed a bike,1 an IPod,1 a huge gerbilarium etc. They have everything they need and we needed a new iron so their Argos vouchers were spent on that with me mentally taking it off the sum we spent on said Xmas items.

Ditto dd's Next voucher.I'm the one in rags with clothes older than my dc and dd has lovely clothes which due to a growth spurt had all recently been replaced.She needed zilch and due to the cost of Xmas although crying out for a wardrobe overhaul I as usual went without.

When they're older we will discuss the dc paying us back with vouchers and pocket money for expensive things as they crop up.We are not made of money and if they want new bikes etc they're going to have to face up to reality.

BegoniaBampot · 27/01/2013 18:47

Yes, people are being ridiculous trying to guilt trip the OP with her stealing from her five year old, unless the op uses it for drink and drugs and the poor kid goes hungry. i think my kids will get it all back and then some.

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 18:53

That's reads like you expect your children to Paul for there own Christmas presents, is that correct?

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 18:53

What is it with iPads changing words to boys names

Yfronts · 27/01/2013 19:05

As long as you spend 30 pounds at some point, I can't see the problem.

Yfronts · 27/01/2013 19:05

spend 30 pounds on her I mean to say!

CatDilemma · 27/01/2013 19:10

Ds got a £5 asda voucher and dd got a £5 boots voucher for their birthdays. I replaced them with £5 each in their moneyboxes. Much more useful.

Meglet · 27/01/2013 19:13

YANBU.

My dc's have too much stuff so any surplus voucher money is used for something practical. If they have Boots vouchers for example I will get some toothpaste / shower gel etc.

I never touch their cash though, it's all saved up.

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 19:29

No Sock I spent more on Xmas presents than I do normally.The voucher money I took off the higher figure meant it was still waaaay over what I normally spend on my dc at Xmas-bikes cost a lot of money.

thefirstmrsrochester · 27/01/2013 19:32

Op, as you say she won't need anything for the foreseeable future (and the vouchers have an expiry date) just use them to buy the hoover. I would. I have done. And didn't consider it theft. Needs must and all that. And if I gifted cash or a voucher, I would not be offended in the least if it went to household expenses. You are not leaving your dd deprived in any way. Buy the hoover fgs!

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 19:40

I know bikes cost a lot,I brought 2 for Christmas myself. But if I had of decided that the cost of them was to much for me to spend then I just wouldn't have brought them.

ihearsounds · 27/01/2013 19:42

Yes I have done it. In between pay dates, something broke that needed replacing. Had argos cards, used them and on payday gave dc cash. Worked out better for him, as he wanted to buy a game, which are ridiculously overpriced in argos, went elsewhere and was able to buy a couple of games.. Win win.
Wouldn't do it without giving the money back though. Doesn't matter really how many clubs etc you are going to pay for over the years. Its money given to the child, to buy something.

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 19:46

No not too much for me to spend but more than I like to spend on a child at Christmas or anytime but needs must. Happily I spent £10 less than I needed to as ds's Argos voucher was subtracted.After having £300 spent on him he most certainly didn't need a trip to Argos on top to send money for the sake of it.

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2013 19:47

But i honestly don't think she'll miss them and shouldn't feel obliged to 'owe' dd back in too much of a hurry

The problem OP is that you sound as if you don't have to pay her back. Yes you owe her.

It's kind of a non-AIBU really because if you do plan to pay her back (which you are now saying, although your first post and subsequent posts did not intimate this) which is of course completely fine and you shouldn't use your CC when you can use these vouchers, then why the heck are you posting anyway?

Total storm is a tea cup.

It doesn't matter if people consider it theft, to take it and not replace it really actually is theft (legally if you don't care about the morals)

But never mind eh, it's just a kid...

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2013 19:49

If I was using vouchers that were given by others to my children, I would make sure they knew that I was doing this and they agreed to it.

Because actually, the gifts that you purchased including the cost of the vouchers aren't just from you.

Hope you put love from mum, dad, aunty beryl, great aunt greta etc.. on the tag/card?

Bet you didn't.

PolkadotCircus · 27/01/2013 19:49

But she may have already paid it.

DamnBamboo · 27/01/2013 19:54

Well I dont know about you lot, but my childrens accounts (ex Woolwich now Barclays) are in the name of Mrs H B Bush o/a Bush Jnr - and legally it's my money, held on account of Bush Jnr (should I decide to make it over when they are 18.)

So if they got birthday money given to them by other relatives, or had pocket money or a paper round etc. and had saved it, are you actually saying that you would keep that money, or is all the money in that account put in by you?

If the former, that is bloody rotten!

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 19:55

Bamboo I would do that as well, I would also tell the person that sent the gift that it was out towards the expensive item.

IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2013 19:55

Put not out