To wonder what other posters do that really annoy you?

[atthewelles]

For me it would probably be:

Not reading the OP properly and going off on a tangent
Pulling a thread totally OT in order to have a two way jokey conversation with someone else that goes on for pages and pages
Looking up someone's posting history and saying 'well on 5th April 2006 you said this and now you're saying that.

Ok. I'll stop imagining accusations of derailing if OTHER PEOPLE NOT AMBER stop imagining they see it everywhere.

I think the derailing accusation is often used as a cheap shot - a way to try and make regulars (whatever you want to call them) appear superior and heartless. As if the fact that they chat and wave isn't just a facet of their acknowledging each other but part of a determined effort to exclude other.

It's like the royalty thing. It's a low level sneering

It makes my toes curl under when posters say would of, could of, etc. It's would HAVE, Could HAVE.

Hate the threads which turn out to be a wind up and people say oh how funny, ha ha. No it's not, it's bloody annoying.

It's really irritating to read a thread where 99.9% of the posters say YABU or LTB or whatever and the OP ignores and starts a new thread on exactly the same subject, sometimes even more than one.

Find it stupid when OPs post about MN 'royalty'. It's bollocks, if you have been posting since the Iron Age or make thousands of posts so what. If the OP is so enthralled they should PM the 'royalty' and ask for permission to crawl up their backside.

It's better if they pm the chambermaids in the first instance. Protocol.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana: I remember that thread, and I think the OP received a horrible and unwarranted pasting. She obviously had a lot of problems that she was finding hard to put in to words there.

Hully or maybe just accept that other people see/read things that you miss?

I can honestly say, that I didn't have your name in my mind when I posted that, I read lots of your posts as very much tongue in cheek [even when others miss that and do get all offended] wasn't talking about you at all.

Pagwatch, I dont think its a dig at 'regulars'

I also don't have an issue with general chattiness and waving, only when its done in a PA way and sort of 'we know you're there, we're just ignoring you way.

I hope they resolved it and it hasn't put the poor woman off MN forever.

Do people actually do that though? Genuine question, do people read a thread and not comment on the OP but instead chat to their friends?

That's a bit odd, no?

People picking on spelling and grammar. As a non-native English speaker, I would be mortified if I got pulled up on a grammatical error, especially if I had been posting about something I was emotionally invested in.

People being mean-spirited.

I also really struggle with the Leave the Bastard comment. Not the essence as much as the 'energy' of it. Women posting about DV, EA and controlling partners often get some quite harsh feedback, and whereas I completely get that this stems from outrage on their behalf, it sometimes reads as impatient frustration with the OP for putting up with that shit for so long.

People apologising for hugs (" extremely un-mumsnetty hugs to you ") and people moaning about xx-ing. Ok, so there is NetMums where that stuff is the order of the day, but what is wrong with communicating warmth and care in that way if you want to. Actually, I don't get annoyed with the people who feel the need to apologise for hugging, but more with the odd consensus that apologies are in order.

Oh, and snide references to NetMums. It's not my cup of tea, but ffs, it is to other women what MN is to me and therefore I don't knock it.

Would you consider it rude if they did?

x post with peaceful.

Well, she didn't mention it, she asked whether she was BU to do it, which is a bit different! And I don't think everyone who thought she would be BU couldn't afford a nice holiday, either.

Ah Amber
I think we must agree to disagree.
I have never seen it happen. I have never seen waving and jokes derailing a thread where a poster was upset about a serious issue. I think the accusation that it does happen is often another dig along the lines of the 'bloody royalty' stuff.
But I accept you don't see it like that

Mind the buffs there, LaQ.

I don't know why people get snitty about people that know each other saying Hi, why not just join in? Always nicer to be friends than cross.

What pag said.

I think it's fine if posters meet up and know each other in RL and 'wave or nod' whatever etc.

However personally I can't imagine ever wanting to meet a mumsnetters as once RL intrudes then you can't say what you really think and that's the whole point of mumsnet. Total honesty. But just my opinion.

What I really hate are long posts with no paragraphs as I am too old and befuddled to read them.

"total honesty"?

the horror

Fairdos Pagwatch, its really not about agreeing or disagreeing though.

Just because you haven't seen it happen doesn't mean it doesn't!

I haven't mentioned 'royalty' it's nothing to do with all that sort of thing. why do you assume it is?

Oh yes just read that pagwatch, never seen 'in jokes 'at expense of a poster who is in real need.

Ok. So from now on, if you come across someone you "know" on a thread, you aren't allowed to wave. Or chat. Because...well I don't know why, just don't do it. Pretend you have never seen anyone before.

That sounds joyful.

I absolutely cannot accept that there are posters who come on to a thread, ignore the OP and the actual subject and just post "hi LaQueen. How's your life going these days? Any news?"
In the middle of a thread. About sausages.