to be furious with dh for eating cakes he knew were destined for the bin!

[alfrex]

OK. I bake a lot. And sometimes my cakes are beautiful, and we all enjoy them. But sometimes it does not go so well and the cakes come out sunk or burnt or still wet in the middle (if dh would get the fan fixed on the oven this would happen a lot less often, but that's another thread)

There is a system, dh and the children are well aware of it. If the cakes are good to eat, they either go in a freezer bag for later use, or in a sealed tin for use over the week, or on a plate on the side so that they can be eaten now. DH knows this and I never complain about him "sampling" even if th cakes are meant for after dinner or whatever. I bake a lot so there is usually something there if he fancies a nibble.

If the cakes are not up to scratch, they go in the bin as soon as they are cooled (or as soon as dh empties the bin - there's another thread there!)

so this morning dh saunters into the kitchen to get himself breakfast. I come in and find him cramming his mouth with the burnt, crappy cakes that were sitting in the bun tray by the bin. I was really pissed off and had a go at him for it. I can make really nice cakes and I make plenty of them, so he has no need to wind me up and embarrass me by eating the ones that have gone wrong. He know it is a pet hate of mine.

so he strops off to work having called me a "control freak" in front of our children who were sitting having their breakfast. I am Not Happy.

HE IS NOT A CHILD!!!

My DH eats burn toast, crap cake and toasts bread I'd give to the birds. Ours not to reason why?

DD2 would blame it on their Y chromosome.

DH's favorite is saying he'll just have bread and cheese if I'm a bit short on portions. We get odd amounts of leftovers with DDs having or not having eaten at school and messing me about.

I hate cold cheese so I'm insulted that by this comment, he doesn't get that I'm insulted because he likes bread and cheese.

He never gets it, I always cook a bit of something else.

If my spouse told me off in front of my children like you did to your h, I would find that disrespectful. And calling you a control freak is hardly name-calling.

still PMSL at 'condemned cakes'. I feel for those cakes I really do. LTB!!

What kind of cake was it out of interest??

WTF?

Condemned cakes! This phrase has just made me spurt coffee all over my keyboard! Best laugh I have had in ages. Thank you alfrex!

I'm so thankful to mn. Until today I didn't know there were 'condemned cakes' in the world. Perhaps someone should start a facebook campaign for them?

'Why should I empty the bin and fix the oven? They are his jobs.'

Not enough in the world.

Shoveling you say, SHOVELING?! Don't you mean shoving?

Or is this some kind of snow related delusional problem?

Numberlock and aliasjoey - glad you liked 'passive-aggressive cake eating'. It made me laugh as I was typing it

Feisty There's another thread on here where AnyFucker refers to The Top Ten of Shite Not To Take From Men and I'm now wondering if PACE is on the list...

And in all seriousness if you can't see why NOBODY thinks you were in the right might suggest that you do need to look at what is normal behaviour. Are you equally strung up about the house being kept perfect as well?

I think the reason why people are suggesting psychiatric help is because your response is SO disproportional to the act. So you've made cakes that aren't up to the standard that you'd like, but they are obviously edible as your DH not only fancied trying them but then ate them. Your perception of how good or bad they are is clearly warped. You are then being super controlling over your DH's ability to make a rational adult decision for himself over whether he wants to eat them or not. Your behaviour is almost mildly abusive - imagine if this thread was reversed in relationships - 'DH has banned me from eating cakes which were fine but he thought they weren't good enough'. People would be telling you to LTB!

You then see it as something to be embarrassed about - in a marriage there shouldn't be embarrassment over something so trivial.

Deciding what your DH is allowed to eat is not loving. It is controlling to a bizarre degree.

Thanks op, you've made my day. I've been sitting here laughing like a mad woman reading this thread. My favourite bit was 'there are no birds here"! If you hadn't said that it might've been easier to think you were serious but is there actually anywhere in the world with no birds? X

Did you really tell your DH he 'should know better for behaving like that'?

Poor fella, he's not three. You were wrong, you're not quite getting that though, I'm feeling.

another house here where it is one of DHs duties to eat the disasters.
Last week I made a tooth killing flapjack bake, kids declared it vile and named it "the thing", DH gamely made his way through it to avoid waste.

Makes me feel so much better for my mild control freakiness

Hang on. First you said he 'sauntered' into the kitchen and later you said he 'sneaked'. I can't make a judgement until that's sorted out.

Oh lol at me being abusive to dh. He is treated with kid gloves I assure you. So I don't want him to grab and eat the burnt cakes I have put by the bin. I baked them, so he should respect it if I do not want them eaten. My childre know better, am I abusing them as well?

oh OP pleeeeeeeease tell us whereabouts in the world you are where there are no birds, pleeeeeease. In fact if it turns out you are living at the North Pole i may change my view to take into account your heroic baking attempts in such harsh conditions....

Yabu, and if you sat down and thought about it I think you would realise that. No your dh should not have called you a control freak in front of your children, but I think that is quite mild compared to what lots of people would say. And why no birds? I'm completely baffled by that one.

I just don't understand what is wrong with eating burnt cake......I really don't understand....