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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have shouted at a women in the Asda toilet

425 replies

pinkmagic1 · 20/01/2013 20:11

Was in Asda this morning getting a bit of shopping for my nan and my 8 year old ds decided he needed the loo. Sometimes he uses the mans but sometimes he prefers to come with me into the ladies. I personally don't see a problem with this, he is only 8 ffs. However there was a women in there who whilst my ds was washing his hands and after looking at him like something she had scraped off the bottom of her shoe asked me how old my ds was. I told her he is 8, she then proceeded to tell me it was terrible that I should let him use the ladies and he should be able to manage perfectly well on his own! She then made a speedy exit and I shouted after her 'mind your own business you miserable cow!' I was really shook up by the whole incident but aibu?

OP posts:
NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 20/01/2013 21:30

YABU if your ds can use the loo, flush, wash and dry his own hands and then wait for you in your chosen 'wait here when you're done spot'

YANBU if he still needs help though I would be thinking why not use the disabled loo since there would be more room

fourfingerkitkat · 20/01/2013 21:32

Katla...probably shouldn't have laughed at your comment but I did...

Was discussing this thread with my OH. He was in the loos today with DS and said there were 2 wee girls aged about 6 or 7 standing there whilst their Dad and other men used the urinals....At least in the ladies everyone is in a cubicle as others have mentioned

Guendaline · 20/01/2013 21:34

No way kitkat that's gross!!Shock

Catchingmockingbirds · 20/01/2013 21:35

It's not just child abusers that are a risk for a 4 year old going to a public toilet by himself. There's being locked in a cubicle with a dodgy lock, getting stuck with his belt/trousers/zip and not being able to ask for help, hurting himself with a scalding hot tap, not being able to open a heavy door on his own, and then the risks with drugs/drug paraphanelia found on the toilet floor that the 4 year old could pick up.

fourfingerkitkat · 20/01/2013 21:35

Yes, honestly. Maybe they're just a very open minded family. God knows....

BacardiNCoke · 20/01/2013 21:38

Have you noticed it's only very "Jeremy Kyle" because it's in Asda. Hmm

OP YANBU.

Catchingmockingbirds · 20/01/2013 21:38

OP you're not BU.

ExitPursuedByABear · 20/01/2013 21:38

And this is why I don't shop in Asda.

runs

tigerdriverII · 20/01/2013 21:39

YABU. Shopping at ASDA?

SuzysZoo · 20/01/2013 21:41

If someone offers me "advice" like this I just nod and say "you're quite right, I agree". Tends to take the wind out of their sails and there is not much more that they can say..........
I still take my son into the ladies with me sometimes, and he's 10!

differentnameforthis · 20/01/2013 21:42

She voiced her opinion, you insulted her.

Chottie · 20/01/2013 21:43

At my local gym Nuffi*lds, there is a sign in the women's changing room saying that boys over 7 are not allowed in the women's changing room. There is a comparable sign about 7 year old girls in the men's changing room.

My son used to use the men's toilets at 8, but I must admit that I used to lurk outside the men's loos and clock the men going in :)

fourfingerkitkat · 20/01/2013 21:43

I've actually started responding like that SuzysZoo. I now greet cheeky remarks and rude people with the biggest grin I can manage. Completely throws them and they don't know how to respond or maybe they just think I'm crazy

Footface · 20/01/2013 21:43

Yanbu,

I really dread my ds's growing up and the whole toilet issues.

Do woman really think that boys are not embarrassed by going in the ladies without feeling judged aswell

ExitPursuedByABear · 20/01/2013 21:49

What is it that you dread about 'the toilet issue' Foot?

dixiechick1975 · 20/01/2013 21:49

Our Morrisons has a sign on the toilet door saying accompanied children of either sex under age 8 are allowed to use the ladies - not sure if gents has the same sign.

It was a proper sign not handwritten - I guess there must have been some complaints re older children in the toilets.

Picturesinthefirelight · 20/01/2013 21:50

Last week I reluctantly let ds go to the toilet himself in Asa as he insisted he didn;t want to come into the ladies with me. The taps are hard to operate and the doors are heavy.

As I cam out of the ladies I heard ds talking to a man. He hadn't been able to open the heavy door so this man had helped him (no problem). However he was then trying to persuade ds to go and wait for me in the cafe rather than staying where he was. Luckily ds knew not to move.

The man then proceeded to follow us both out of the shop telling me that I should have given him money for the cafe. It was really creepy.

So YANBU

DonderandBlitzen · 20/01/2013 21:51

I think the other woman was unreasonable. It is totally up to the parent whether they are comfortable with their son using the men's loo. Absolutely none of her business and she should have kept quiet.

Karoleann · 20/01/2013 21:56

I think 8 is too old to go into the ladies loos, I'm not overly happy with my 6 year old going in them. Unless we're in somewhere dodgy I usually get him to go to the mens. I think that women is right.
Incidentally we have a similar problem in our gym, parents think its acceptable for over 7's to go into the women's changing rooms. You would be having a huge arguement with me if you brought your son in. - the rules are no over 7.

countrykitten · 20/01/2013 21:58

I think that 8 is old enough to use the loo by himself. I also think the OP was rude and abusive and the whole thing reminds me of JK.

Glad I don't shop at Asda if this is what it is like.

aquashiv · 20/01/2013 21:58

Are you sure he didnt leave the seat up or piddle on it perhaps?

We all loose our cool don't worry about it Op.

shallweshop · 20/01/2013 21:58

Bloody hell the kid is only 8 - why would a woman be concerned about him being in a ladies loo - how buttoned up is that??? What the hell is the lad likely to see? In loads of countries they have unisex loos. Sod the 'she was just expressing her opinion' malarkey, I would have shouted at her too.

IneedAsockamnesty · 20/01/2013 22:01

Dixie.

Those signs usually say please do not allow children under 8 to use the toilets unsupervised.

Saying they can be accompanied is a polite way of saying they shouldn't be unaccompanied

fourfingerkitkat · 20/01/2013 22:02

Changing room are completely different though, aren't they ? You would be getting undressed....as another MNetter so eloquently put it somewhere above, unless you are coming out of the cubicle with your pants at your ankles and washing your fanjo in the sink, what is the problem ? You're in a cubicle, nothing for the 8yr old to see !

countrykitten · 20/01/2013 22:02

And katla what your brother said is vile - fighting rudeness with obscenity and ignorance is pointless and sad.