to have insisted that DH took the kids on the bus rather than accepted a lift without proper carseats?

[BreastmilkNewYearLatte]

It's an icy evening, and only the main roads around us are gritted. There has already been one car accident in our street today. DH took the kids (DS 18mo and DD 3.4) out on the bus for the afternoon and has just rung to tell me that one of his friends has offered the three of them a lift home. His friend has a car seat for DS but not DD. I said that I really wasn't comfortable with DD not having a car seat and have asked DH to take the bus. DH says the kids are cold and hungry and that the bus will take over an hour - but has grudgingly agreed to take the bus. I don't know whether he's genuinely intending to (TBH I wouldn't put it past him to get his friend to drive him to the bus stop) but either way he will return him very angry.. he's insisting IABU because he has been looking after the kids alone for a fortnight whilst I've been off work with anxiety.

I'm not starting to doubt myself - am I overreacting to this? AIBU to have insisted they take the bus?

"Unexpected but necessary" Now obviously you could argue about "necessary" or "unexpected" in this case but no cop would take your name and no court would convict.

There is no slack created by elevating the child, the tensioning device takes care of that.

And 1 of the children isn't over the age of 3

The younger one has a car seat.

Aibu hysteria at its best....

I'd like to see the evidence which say that an unrestrained child is safer in a bust than restrained in a car because frankly I don't believe it.

That's what's debatable and unclear therefore your 'this says differently' isn't actually true. Planned may well refer to regular, known trips. In my eyes this wasn't planned ahead, more a 'I'll give you a run, save you getting the bus' type thing, meaning it was then unexpected so really I don't think it's fair to say they would be breaking the law.

Read half the thread and shocked by all the YABUs as my instant reaction is YANBU.

I have declined lifts due to lack of car seats. Our entire family have spent fortunes on correct car seats and consequently it would go against every fibre of my being to put either of the kids in a car without a correct car seat.

If there is an accident, it's safer to be on a bus than in a car generally, seeing as how the bus is bigger. And if the youngest is in a pushchair on the bus, even more so.

For all those horrified by the idea of hanging around for a bus, I take it you most likely all drive everywhere. It's really not that big a deal to get a bus you know.

There was a seat available for the younger child.
Why doesn't somebody start a new thread to give info on car seat safety? I really don't think the OP should have to wade through 101 bad things that can happen to dcs in a car. She asked a question, got her answer and has done an outstanding job of getting on with things afterwards.

Lady you are right I missed that on the OP

Eugusta - you are (on behalf of everyone saying the same thing) welcome :)

I have no idea how to get that message 'out there' when children shouldn't be in the car without the proper childseat anyway It's a bit like telling people how to burgle a house safely...

There was a car seat for the 18 month old, not the 3.4 year old.

You really need to read things before wading in with your righteousness.

Hissy - not in an accident it doesn't!

So with a seatbelt in a taxi that cuts across a child's neck, I put that bit of the belt behind them, so they are just restrained across the lap. All you safety experts, is this smart or silly?

Apologies for going slightly off topic.

I'd have taken the lift. Older one on my lap, seat belt round me. And using my arms as a seatbelt for the child.

Northern she doesn't if she doesn't want to, her dilemma has been resolved - she doesn't even need to click on the thread again if she doesn't want to. She has already learnt something new on this thread, as have others.

Buses are the safest form of road transport.

Are they home yet?

But even without the law, it a pretty stupid thing for a 3 year old to go into a car without a car seat.

This was a planned trip and the plan was to bring the DC back on the bus. Unless you plan to tell a police officer a different story because that in itself would be teaching a 3 year that lying to the police is a good thing.

I'm shocked at how many people would pop the dd on their knee as the first alternative.

Adult seatbelt.

What is wrong with fashioning a booster out of coats (baffled). All about risk benefit analysis. Obviously not ideal not to have the 100% correctly perfect car seats that you would usually have but if its a relatively short journey and avoids an hour on the bus with a tired toddler I would take that risk. In 20 plus years of driving I have never had a dangerous accident (touch wood) the chances of having one the one time the child is not on a proper car seat is low. Also as it is icy there are very few cars on the road - its like a ghost town here. So yes, I would have taken the risk on balance.

Ok mcnew, whatever you say.

www.childcarseats.org.uk/law/index.htm

Returning from a day out is not an unexpected necessity

It is against the law

I would have said the bus too. Seriously though it's not worth stress.

"Older one on my lap, seat belt round me. And using my arms as a seatbelt for the child. "

Yes because in a crash you will remember to keep your arms wrapped around them against your survival instinct and the force of the crash