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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell them to find their own way to the airport in a foreign country

770 replies

EspressoMonkey · 20/01/2013 09:30

First of all, sorry, long story and first world problem.

DH, DCs and i live abroad for DH's job. We live in a rented house close to DH's work as it is not really easy for foreigners to buy property where he works. I miss England and our lovely home there, so last year DH bought me a Ski Chalet as a birthday present / thank you for leaving your family and job in England to follow me around the world, present. He insisted it was my chalet, i could decorate it how i wanted etc, do what i wanted with it.

The chalet is in a fabulous ski resort and to me it is very much our home. We spend most weekends there, we do not rent it out as a holiday chalet.

Last year MIL asked whether HSIL and her uni flat mates could visit for a weeks snowboarding holiday. I was reluctant to agree. DH's does not really know his HSis and when she has visited us in other homes she has been very messy (straightens hair over sink leaving behind lots of hair etc etc) and she never helps out at all. Reluctantly i agreed, MIL insisted her friends were nice and they would help out and babysit DCs in exchange for free board.

HSIL and her friends booked plane tickets which meant they landed late at night with no way of getting to the chalet so DH drove a 6 hour round trip to collect them from the airport.

They have been here all week and as i guessed, have been hard work. They have done nothing to help out around the house, not bothered to help with dinner or clean away afterwards, not helped with DCs or bothed to even buy me a bunch if flowers or some chocs to say thank you for having them. We all eat together but they talk amongst themselves and make little conversation.

On Wednesday DH was called back to work with a crisis, leaving DCs, myself and HSIL and her friends. Since then they have been worse, going out at night and getting drunk and returning at 2/3am and waking DCs and i with their noise. Last night things worsened. DCs and i were woken at 3am, i could hear male voices and smelt cigarette smoke. Our house is strictly non smoking, especially as we have a baby. I went into the lounge and interrupted the party. I asked the young men to stop smoking in my home and to please leave as i didn't know who they were. The young men were local lads and were very apologetic for smoking and waking us and explained they didn't know it was a private home. As they left one of HSIL's friends, under her breath, called me a snotty cow. I turned around and politely challeneged her on her comment. She repeated it and called me an old hag too (34 BTW, she is 20).

I went back to bed fuming and in tears. This morning i woke them all up at 8.00am. They are due to fly back home tonight and i assume were expecting DH or me to take them to the airport. I explained that because DH was not here and because we had had a lot of snow lately and the minibus was snowed in, they could make their own way back to the airport via public transport. I was not driving them 6 hours round trip. They had 12 hours to get back to the airport themselves. The journey is a bus and two train rides and takes a total of 3.5 / 4 hours. An hour later i heard the door bang and went to their rooms. They have left and take all their stuff. They have not said good bye. The room where the two girls were sleeping has been trashed. Make up; lipstick, foundation and other stuff has been smeared into my beautiful new White Company bed sheets. It doesn't look like an accident as it is on all the pillows, duvet and sheet.

I phoned DH at work and told him what had happened. It was a broken line and DH was v. busy at work so i know he wasn't really aware of the whole story as it was hardto talk. But he questioned whether i had checked they had money to get to the airport and whether the trains were running. I hadn't. I have checked since and the trains are running. But have i done the right thing? AIBU?

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/01/2021 09:33

Oh BOLLOX!

Just noticed this thread is a zombie . . .

I was so invested, too!

Damn you, Pademic - so excite to join in I never looked at dates.

HaveringWavering · 26/01/2021 09:35

Aw. I am really disappointed that nobody went full Covid police and ranted about how immoral and illegal this all was, before sheepishly realising the thread was from 2013. It reads like a completely different world!

Bluetrews25 · 26/01/2021 09:38

@EspressoMonkey are you still there??
We're on the edges of our seats here!!!!

QueenOfLabradors · 26/01/2021 09:38

@EspressoMonkey I know it was eight years ago and you've probably changed your nn a dozen times since, but it would be lovely to hear from you again.

Misshapencha0s · 26/01/2021 09:41

They are not your responsibility and have repaid your hospitality with damaging your property. It is your home not mil. Never again

SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/01/2021 09:43

@Margotshypotheticaldog

I would regard that particular ship as having long since sailed 🤣🤣
Yes - even more accurate than I thought! Grin
SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/01/2021 09:45

Well - Zombie it may be, but it kept me entertained for ages.

Thank you, whoever resurrected it.

MrKlaw · 26/01/2021 09:57

1 - YANBU
2 - take photos. If only to share with DH but potentially consider sharing with MIL to explain why they won't be welcome back
3 - make it super clear to MIL this isn't happening again, please don't ask

Had you considered just leaving them there, like an air BNB? Maybe you worried about it being trashed but I'd have walked out with your DH if not earlier

Deltoids1 · 26/01/2021 09:58

Well that was well worth a read through. Ace thread. Thanks for the bump

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 26/01/2021 10:01

Damn I thought there was going to be an update, I remember this thread at the time.

8 years though, blimey. Time flies.

YouWontBelieveYourEyes · 26/01/2021 10:16

Zombie...

How did I miss this one 7 years ago? Such a shame it never got updated!

IrmaFayLear · 26/01/2021 10:20

The worst point about this thread is I remember it as if it were yesterday !! Something has happened to my perception of time Confused

IrmaFayLear · 26/01/2021 10:21

@OnTheBenchOfDoom - great minds think alike!

SparkysMagicPiano · 26/01/2021 10:22

Had you considered just leaving them there, like an air BNB? Maybe you worried about it being trashed but I'd have walked out with your DH if not earlier

@MrKlawWhat, earlier than 2013? Grin

TinkerPony · 26/01/2021 10:27

Is it just me but every time I read the name of Big Barry and Baby Barry I picture Barry Wood Grin sign of the times #barrymemepandemic

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 26/01/2021 10:30

@IrmaFayLear I know, I started to read and thought this is familiar, looked at the date, actually looked and went, oh 20th Jan, but missed the year! I have obviously had other things on my mind Wink but 8 years? Noooo, this is where I start to question my sanity.

I have actually started a thread on Site Stuff about having a Zombie Banner at the top of a thread, like the MNHQ one but in a different colour. I think it would help rather than being at the bottom.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 26/01/2021 10:32

Always happy to post this Smile

Juno231 · 26/01/2021 10:39

@EspressoMonkey any updates or more stories?! Grin

CigarsofthePharoahs · 26/01/2021 10:41

But what about COVID?
It's IMMORAL and ILLEGAL.
Will that do @HaveringWavering ? I'd do a longer rant but I'm home schooling and knackered already.

BubblyBarbara · 26/01/2021 10:43

I turned around and politely challeneged her on her comment. She repeated it and called me an old hag too (34 BTW, she is 20).

The whole party would have been out on the street missing their front teeth if they dared say that to me.

hansgrueber · 26/01/2021 10:57

@LAlady

YANBU.

I would take photos of what they have done too.

And send the photos to your MIL who vouched for them in the first place. I would also be tempted to post them on social media in case anyone else is conned into having them stay!
ktp100 · 26/01/2021 11:07

You have 100% done the right thing.

Now ring MIL and tell her how disappointed you are, make sure you tell her about the strangers in the house, the smoking, the waking the children coming in drunk in the early hours, the trashed house and calling you names. If she defends this in any way stand up for yourself. I'd also say will be expecting an apology out of Dsis and money for the expensive bedding her friends purposely trashed.

What absolute little twats!!!

I'd be fuming with your DH if he tries to defend them as well!!

Unbelievable!!

Take photos and attach them to the message/email

DO NOT allow the little madam to paint you as unreasonable here!! Public transport is running, your DH provided transport one way, they can sort the other.

I wouldn't be speaking to that little arsehole ever again!!

ktp100 · 26/01/2021 11:09

Oh FFS!!!!

WHY SO MANY ZOMBIE THREADS AT THE MOMENT???!!

I'm sitting here all fecking cross on the OP's behalf!!!

CharityDingle · 26/01/2021 11:34

@IrmaFayLear

The worst point about this thread is I remember it as if it were yesterday !! Something has happened to my perception of time Confused
Me too!
CharityDingle · 26/01/2021 11:42

[quote OnTheBenchOfDoom]@IrmaFayLear I know, I started to read and thought this is familiar, looked at the date, actually looked and went, oh 20th Jan, but missed the year! I have obviously had other things on my mind Wink but 8 years? Noooo, this is where I start to question my sanity.

I have actually started a thread on Site Stuff about having a Zombie Banner at the top of a thread, like the MNHQ one but in a different colour. I think it would help rather than being at the bottom.[/quote]
I think they used to mark them as zombies in some way. I know a warning used to pop up, asking if you really wanted to post on one.
It can be quite funny seeing people responding earnestly to something that (in this case) was posted eight years ago! Grin