Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell them to find their own way to the airport in a foreign country

770 replies

EspressoMonkey · 20/01/2013 09:30

First of all, sorry, long story and first world problem.

DH, DCs and i live abroad for DH's job. We live in a rented house close to DH's work as it is not really easy for foreigners to buy property where he works. I miss England and our lovely home there, so last year DH bought me a Ski Chalet as a birthday present / thank you for leaving your family and job in England to follow me around the world, present. He insisted it was my chalet, i could decorate it how i wanted etc, do what i wanted with it.

The chalet is in a fabulous ski resort and to me it is very much our home. We spend most weekends there, we do not rent it out as a holiday chalet.

Last year MIL asked whether HSIL and her uni flat mates could visit for a weeks snowboarding holiday. I was reluctant to agree. DH's does not really know his HSis and when she has visited us in other homes she has been very messy (straightens hair over sink leaving behind lots of hair etc etc) and she never helps out at all. Reluctantly i agreed, MIL insisted her friends were nice and they would help out and babysit DCs in exchange for free board.

HSIL and her friends booked plane tickets which meant they landed late at night with no way of getting to the chalet so DH drove a 6 hour round trip to collect them from the airport.

They have been here all week and as i guessed, have been hard work. They have done nothing to help out around the house, not bothered to help with dinner or clean away afterwards, not helped with DCs or bothed to even buy me a bunch if flowers or some chocs to say thank you for having them. We all eat together but they talk amongst themselves and make little conversation.

On Wednesday DH was called back to work with a crisis, leaving DCs, myself and HSIL and her friends. Since then they have been worse, going out at night and getting drunk and returning at 2/3am and waking DCs and i with their noise. Last night things worsened. DCs and i were woken at 3am, i could hear male voices and smelt cigarette smoke. Our house is strictly non smoking, especially as we have a baby. I went into the lounge and interrupted the party. I asked the young men to stop smoking in my home and to please leave as i didn't know who they were. The young men were local lads and were very apologetic for smoking and waking us and explained they didn't know it was a private home. As they left one of HSIL's friends, under her breath, called me a snotty cow. I turned around and politely challeneged her on her comment. She repeated it and called me an old hag too (34 BTW, she is 20).

I went back to bed fuming and in tears. This morning i woke them all up at 8.00am. They are due to fly back home tonight and i assume were expecting DH or me to take them to the airport. I explained that because DH was not here and because we had had a lot of snow lately and the minibus was snowed in, they could make their own way back to the airport via public transport. I was not driving them 6 hours round trip. They had 12 hours to get back to the airport themselves. The journey is a bus and two train rides and takes a total of 3.5 / 4 hours. An hour later i heard the door bang and went to their rooms. They have left and take all their stuff. They have not said good bye. The room where the two girls were sleeping has been trashed. Make up; lipstick, foundation and other stuff has been smeared into my beautiful new White Company bed sheets. It doesn't look like an accident as it is on all the pillows, duvet and sheet.

I phoned DH at work and told him what had happened. It was a broken line and DH was v. busy at work so i know he wasn't really aware of the whole story as it was hardto talk. But he questioned whether i had checked they had money to get to the airport and whether the trains were running. I hadn't. I have checked since and the trains are running. But have i done the right thing? AIBU?

OP posts:
Kiriwawa · 22/01/2013 14:06

Amusingly, the ad on the side of the page is for Ski Scott Dunn luxury chalets :o

I think you've behaved admirably OP. How do you think your DH is going to react?

Absy · 22/01/2013 15:11

I agree with Paggy.

LucyGoose · 22/01/2013 16:49

OP - please keep us updated, and excuse the rather rude derailment. Its been a most interesting thread, especially for those with family members who seem to enjoy holidaying at others expenses.
I have been there and you have my sympathies!

maddening · 22/01/2013 17:51

So lesmiss you are essentially calling the op a liar? Why? What Are you suggesting?

IAmNotAMindReader · 22/01/2013 17:55

Give it a week then email MIL stating there is no way in hell the damage was an accident and that both guests behaved appallingly. Say you are disappointed she feels she has to make excuses for HSIL because she isn't mature enough is an entitled cow to take responsibility for her own actions Grin

ForTheLoveOfSocks · 22/01/2013 18:23

I would send HSIL a birthday card with pictures of the damage she and her friends caused Grin

mumzy · 22/01/2013 19:23

OP take heart you have the moral high ground, your dh needs to have strong words with his family and let them know in no uncertain terms his HSIs behaviour was totally unacceptable, it's obvious his mother is blind to her daughter's faults so someone needs to sound her out.

Bogeyface · 22/01/2013 19:28

Actually, I would send her a birthday card, with a seperate letter inside detailing what she owes you and how you feel.

If she thinks it is a birthday card then it is guaranteed that she will open it.

izzyizin · 22/01/2013 19:42

Leave the bastard and pass him on to me Grin

financialwizard · 22/01/2013 20:44

Can I go and slap hsil with a wet fish? Just PM the address I'll do it happily.

Lueji · 22/01/2013 20:56

OP, I'd store the sheets and the empty bottles.

then, send one for each birthday and Christmas.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 22/01/2013 21:00

Lueji Grin

DontmindifIdo · 22/01/2013 21:03

Lueji - I love that suggestion! OP, please, please, please do this!

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 22/01/2013 21:31

Oh how frustrating for you! What does your dh think of it all now he's got back?

EuroShagmore · 22/01/2013 21:34

I'm surprised the sheets didn't clean. Last time my FIL and his partner stayed with us, her pillow was left covered in make up (she must have forgotten to bring remover). It washed straight out at 40 degrees.

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 22/01/2013 21:45

lueji I like your thinking! Grin

shesariver · 22/01/2013 21:58

On the plus side expresso you will never ever have to host your HSIL again!

SnowyWellies · 24/01/2013 10:52

have been lurking on this thread. Any updates - did the Op manage to send the pics to the MIL?

[go OP!]

DeepRedBetty · 24/01/2013 11:01

Any news? Love Lueji's cunning plan!

LittleAbruzzenBear · 24/01/2013 11:05

YANBU and well done!

LittleAbruzzenBear · 24/01/2013 11:52

Just made my way through the whole thread. LittleMiss, you're a strange one. The OP was not boasting at all and under the circumstances, I think she dealt with the brats in a very dignified manner. It is also one thing to be rude to your host whilst staying free-of-charge, but to put children at risk bringing strange men into the house. Those girls all need a jolly good slap and a dose of reality!

Also, if anyone dropped a make-up bag on a bed, it would not cause that damage, it's absurd, it was vandalism. How typical of the MiL to try and blame HSis's friend. If this friend was like that then why would the MiL have suggested she come and stay with HSis in the first place?

OP, you have no need to justify what your chalet means to you, or what you do with it. Without going into detail, DH and I have a holiday home abroad and are nagged by certain friends to let them stay in it without us being there. We don't want to go down that route, like you, the house is sentimental to us and is full of family things.

YellowTulips · 24/01/2013 16:52

Truely awful behaviout OP and to be honest not exactly the best reaction from your MIL who SHOULD be mortified by what has happened as should your selfish SIL (who should have kept her freinds in check).

Even if the Chalet was something you did let out it would still be totally unacceptable.

Equally some very odd posts upthread I can only equate with jelousy, which I think you should just ignore.

So no YANBU, quite the opposite. If someone had called me a cow in my own home she would have be out the door there and then 3am and cold/snowy or not.

As for the birthday, I would send her the empty champagne bottles with a card saying "we had been saving these to send them to you on your birthday, but you appear to have already rather generously decided to share them with your friends whilst you were here."

MarinaIvy · 24/01/2013 17:54

I don't know with whom I'm more in love, ForTheLoveOfSocks or Lueji.

Espresso please update us! And, errm, any chance my DC (near-3yr) &I can come visit? I promise you, neither of us smokes...

ForTheLoveOfSocks · 24/01/2013 20:51
Grin

How are things espresso?

BlueberryHill · 25/01/2013 12:26

Please OP an update? Please send a photo of the sheets to your MIL to prove it wasn't an accident.