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Original poster

Help - found bank letter re challenging over 1k spend in gentlemans club

276 replies

Letstryagain · 16/01/2013 20:43

Looked in h pocket when moving jackets and found a bank letter re his challenge over 1k spend in 'gentlemans' club - looked at dates and it was a weekend I was away, he was out but never mentioned going there. I have no issues with these places but wonder why he didn't say he was there & also how could anyone spend over 1,000 at a place like that? What do I do - say I saw it? Am raging? He had told me he was disputing a spend in debenhams!! Help!!!

OP posts:
lovelyladuree · 18/01/2013 15:33

I hope he got his money's worth. And you need to visit a STD clinic imo.

atacareercrossroads · 18/01/2013 16:20

Lol, 2k on drinks alone?

Riiiiiiight

pacific407 · 18/01/2013 17:00

But Delboy, just because not 100% of strippers have been the victims of abuse, does that make strip clubs or other similar establishments ok? Yes, fair enough, some people make an informed decision to work in those places because the money's great and perhaps they can pay their way through uni without getting into debt. But to my mind, the idea that even as few as 1 in 100 of these women were victims of abuse means that these places are objectionable.
Presumably as a customer it isn't possible to go into one of those places and specifically ask for a lap dance "...but only from a girl that hasn't been the victim of abuse, please" So there's always the possibility, as a customer, that the lady giving you a lapdance was/is being abused or suffering the after-effects of abuse. So simply to go into those kinds of places is to accept that your gratification is more important than the wellbeing of the ladies working there.

delboysfileofax · 18/01/2013 17:16

pacific- so should it be a case that women who through no fault of their own have been abused should not be allowed to work in strip clubs then? what sort if employment is it ok for them to gain? who decides?

pacific407 · 18/01/2013 17:30

Delboy, a very interesting and important question, and it would be very easy to come up with a trite response. I certainly think the money is an important factor, as presumably in many cases (I stress not all) these ladies are earning more than they would be able to elsewhere, and I can see an argument for saying that, by closing all of these types of places down you are doing people out of a livelihood. In my opinion, though, if it stops the exploitation of the ladies that are being abused, then it is worth the impact on those who are happily working there of their own free will.

To address your question re: alternative employment, I am in no way judging how somebody decides to earn their money. Be it prostitute, stripper (and I stress I do not equate the two), or banker Wink. It is the industry that I have a problem with. So I don't really have an opinon on what sort of employment it is "ok" for them to have. Any type of employment where the side effect of such employment is not the abuse of girls.

I accept that the consequence of this is that some ladies who are more than happy to work as strippers, who have not been abused, and who earn great money, would be disadvantaged. But as I say I think it is worth it if it protects the vulnerable girls who, I assume we can both agree, are exploited by the industry.

delboysfileofax · 18/01/2013 17:38

pacific- kudos to you for having the balls to give a straight answer on that. I personally disagree- i think freedom of choice for all is more important but thats all politics I suppose. I think whilst there are people making a fortune out of this sort of thing it will always go on.

carmenelectra · 18/01/2013 19:52

Argh, posted earlier but signal lost on phone.

Has this op done one too?

Ok, now either her dh has been well and truly fleeced. In whivh case what a mug and what was he hoping? Just to waste a couple hundred on ogling birds? Or he has done more to spend his 2k- maybe a blow job?

Either way, op is not just alright with him going to strip clubs but also very rich. 2 grand to me is a family holiday, not a night out with the lads.

I personally wouldn't be too fussed about a one off visit to a lapdancing club. My dp I mean. However, private dances or regular visits no way. Basically these men are getting sexually aroused by another woman. I would not accept that.

I would also not accept the concept of men 'entertaining' clients in a lapdancing club. Wtf? How is that relating to work?that's wrong.

sweetestB · 18/01/2013 20:05

Delboy, answer the question: would you be happy for your daughter to follow this career path.? Would you have a serious relationship with a woman who does it?

pansyflimflam · 18/01/2013 20:05

2k on drinks..no and certainly more than a blow job for him and his mate. These places are expensive but not that expensive. There is def. something quite sexually heavy duty going on for that price. Sorry OP but get yourself check for STDs

AnyFucker · 18/01/2013 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

delboysfileofax · 18/01/2013 20:18

would i be happy for my daughter to do it? if thats what she wanted yes. I would hope she would be able to do something else but if not i wouldnt be disowning her.

Secondly i have had a relationship with a dancer, lasted about two years.

YorkshireDeb · 18/01/2013 20:21

Interesting comment anyfucker. Was op a troll? X

AnyFucker · 18/01/2013 20:24

who knows, deb ?

start a bunfight, fuck off

there's an MO

delboysfileofax · 18/01/2013 20:24

pansyflimflam- you know bottles of champagne in those places can be between £350-£800 dont you?

Greythorne · 18/01/2013 20:27

AnyFucker
What other website?

AnyFucker · 18/01/2013 20:30

Grey, one of those pro-sex industry ones that periodically come over to start bunfights on MN. There's many a precedent.

Greythorne · 18/01/2013 20:41

Bloody hell.
Got totally sucked in.

But if he / she is totally pro sex industry, why start athread guaranteed to get loads of anti comments.

delboysfileofax · 18/01/2013 20:43

why would someone do that? are there any "pro" sex industry websites? Surely coming on mumsnet wouldnt be the best call even if there were

carmenelectra · 18/01/2013 20:44

greythorne there are a few such sites. The members think mumsnet is full of frigid old birds who hate sex and men.

They are not used to 'normal' women who challenge men who cheat/ buy sexual services..

KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 18/01/2013 20:52

"Bloody hell.
Got totally sucked in.

But if he / she is totally pro sex industry, why start athread guaranteed to get loads of anti comments.

"
Because, amongst their other problems, these pro-sex industry types are really quite stupid.

carmenelectra · 18/01/2013 20:52

delboy they do do such things, trust me. They are kind of obsesed with mumsnet. The men because they want to justify why they do it, ie that normal women are dried up old bags. And the women because they want tp prove that they are sexier and better at sex. Like a marketing tool.

YorkshireDeb · 18/01/2013 20:53

Very interesting! I was sticking up for her/him too - and was dying to hear what happened when she told her husband! Sucked in. X

KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 18/01/2013 20:56

yes, but it's kind of marketing themselves to themselves, which is a whole other order of fucked up weirdness which you really don't want to begin to try to understand.

delboysfileofax · 18/01/2013 20:56

Well thats a bit weird

Crawling · 18/01/2013 20:56

Sucked in Angry

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