Help - found bank letter re challenging over 1k spend in gentlemans club

[Letstryagain]

Looked in h pocket when moving jackets and found a bank letter re his challenge over 1k spend in 'gentlemans' club - looked at dates and it was a weekend I was away, he was out but never mentioned going there. I have no issues with these places but wonder why he didn't say he was there & also how could anyone spend over 1,000 at a place like that? What do I do - say I saw it? Am raging? He had told me he was disputing a spend in debenhams!! Help!!!

On about page 4 I thought she'd vanished cos people kept saying she was snooping & I felt sorry for her. X

I thought SEVs had to put clear price lists up on the walls, as a condition of their licenses.

I would feel sorry for anyone whose partner blew a week's take home pay on a bottle of fizzy plonk to play the Big Man in a sleazy club that exploits young women.

delboy, you serious?been stupid? Understatement.

Stupid to me would be my dp gambliNg 2k or maybe going on a nite out and losing his wallet. Not 2k tho obviously.

Spending 2 grand on paying to ogle women close up and maybe touch, or wish he could, aint stupid. Its being disrespectful and on the verge of cheating.

Realistically, if my dp spent that much at a club I'd think he had had sex or was hoping he could get sex by paying for private dances etc

whether its cheating or not clearly is up to each individuals relationship. she said she had no problem with him going so clearly in their relationship its not. So he was stupid (for spending that much money) and dishonest (for lying about it) it doesnt make him a cheat

delboy, you might be a right nice bloke, I dunno

but not every guy who trawls the internet looking for key words "lap dancer" "sex industry" "my husband uses porn" are looking to help you know ?

there's a fair few of them bashing the bishop over this thread as we speak

that's not you though, you are "security" so utterly trustworthy of course

I'm not a troll - still here and reading responses. He maintains that he was drunk and doesn't know what the bill covered, swears he had private dances but nothing more.
I have told him that if the trust is gone there is no relationship - feel like I am in limbo, still don't know what to do, confused as to what exactly went on.
Also I have realised that I am not ok with lap dancing clubs after all- as some people said. Thank you for those who were nice & considerate as to my feelings - not sure where I am at the moment

there's a fair few of these inadequate twats that have been pasted on here before, and bear a bit of ill feeling towards MN

they don't care how they get a reaction, as long as they get one

why would i not be trustworthy if i was security there? genuinely puzzled at that one.

OP. I know you dont know me but I can honestly say as someone who worked full time at one of these clubs that it is very very very unlikely that any sexual acts (ie other than lapdances) took place. why would any of the dancers/strippers do a sexual act on him when they can make more than enough money from him by simply doing what their job entails?

But the OP's not OK even with them simply doing what their job entails...

So your point is really rather moot.

just to add, i didnt find this thread by trawling the internet. i have been a long time reader online but never signed up to be a poster. i downloaded an app and on my phone you have to register. i saw a thread which i thought, hey i know a fair bit about this industry- i'll let them know what i know

but at the time midnightmasquerader she was. you cant have a go at your partner retrospectively when you no longer find something acceptable so its not a moot point

Oh letstryagain, glad you came back but sorry to hear where you are at.

Are you able to get your anger, disgust, etc over to him? Is he listening to you?

hey i know a fair bit about this industry- i'll let them know what i know

how noble of you

Thank you delboys - you are right, I had said it was fine but he now knows that I am not generally ok with it, as you say I can't retrospectively be annoyed. My issue is with the money spent & him lying about it - don't know how to move on from it

Hmm, delboys, you can have a go at your partner when you find out he is a twat. The op has found out he is a twat.
The question is how to move on from that?

I just cannot get my head around two things. Firstly, how is having another person's sexual organs being shown to you because you want them to not cheating? If another man asked me to take my clothes off and I did for him, you can bet my DH would consider it cheating. Why is it not because money changed hands?

Secondly, what is the point of these places? If there is genuinely no sex/hand/blow jobs, why bother? I can't imagine DH would be all that elated if I took all my clothes off, danced around, talked dirty, rubbed my boobs in his face, then said, "right, nighty night dear". So, are they wanking in the toilets, coming in their boxers during the private dances, getting their rocks off outside with someone else or going home with erections? Or, is having semi-naked women draped all over them some kind of power trip.

Yuk, yuk, double yuk.

anyfucker- what exactly is your problem. you have questioned my intentions and i have explained them. Is it because my viewpoint is different from yours or are you just rude in general?

of course he's been a twat and she has every right to have a go at him. someone stated "its cheating" i argued it wasnt as in the original post she said she was ok with him going- she has since changed her mind. again that is up to her but she cannot now be mad at him for that. sure he was a dick spending that much money- but he was not cheating on her under the rules of their relationship

delboy, I haven't questioned your intentions

I have questioned the intentions of men who rock up on these threads

if you are here for purely altruistic reasons, then you are not one of those men, are you ?

what does get people's backs up though is your assertion that the people who disagree with you are simply in need of a bit of your version of education, a bit of mansplaining if you like

I'm just blinded by his sheer twatishness. Whether its cheatIng or not is a moot point really.

anyfucker- maybe. I think people who make assumptions about strip clubs without setting foot in one probably could do with some more info.

I wasnt being altruistic- i was genuinely trying to help put the OP's mind at rest regarding him having sex with one of the women who work there. Then i was interested in hearing from other posters on here why they were against strip clubs. And to be fair comments equating them to prostitutes and sweeping generalisations that they were all vunerable women made for an interesting conversation

Spot on terryp

also "you are security so utterly trustworthy of course" isnt questioning my intentions?