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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is a bonkers way of potty training?

43 replies

anothershittynickname · 16/01/2013 20:19

So, my SIL is attempting to toilet train her DS by only putting him on the potty / toilet when he asks to go for a wee / poo!

They are encouraging him to tell them when he needs to go.

HOWEVER, they are keeping him in nappies the whole time and saving his big boy pants for when he is using the toilet / potty more!

Am I missing something? I just can't understand how they think this is going to work :-/

OP posts:
amazingmumof6 · 16/01/2013 20:24

I do the same with my boy/s (but toilet, hate potties)

or sometimes I ask him if he wants to go after a bath or when I'm about to put a clean nappy on.

whatever suits.

why does it bother you? I'm sorry but I don't think it's any of your business anyway...or mine actually

JumpHerWho · 16/01/2013 20:26

Seems pretty sensible to me - what's the problem?

Shakey1500 · 16/01/2013 20:27

It might work, who knows? Up to them and what method they want to try. Never heard of the method before but it's not to say it won't work. Could be a revolutionary new method Grin

Original poster
anothershittynickname · 16/01/2013 20:28

First reply and I get a "none of your business"!!

I never said it was, I asked a question - is that easy enough for you to understand!

A question which, by the way, you haven't answered by thanks for your input [rollseyes]!

OP posts:
wigglesrock · 16/01/2013 20:29

Well, how old is he? I have a 23 month old dd who I had absolutely no intention of toilet training for a good while. However she has 2 elder sisters who she sees going to the toilet before the bath. She is now shouting "loo, loo" and actually doing a wee before bath now. But I'm keeping her in nappies, at the minute its working for us.

I'm a bit confused I've always encouraged my kids to tell me when they need to go, sort of avoids the wetting themselves.

Shakey1500 · 16/01/2013 20:29

Oo-er!

GoingVerySlowlyMad · 16/01/2013 20:30

It wouldn't be how I would do it! My mum, CM and HV all advised removing nappies and pull up pants and putting in proper underwear and taking DC to the toilet very frequently at the the start until they learn to feel the sensation of needing to go.

LunaticFringe · 16/01/2013 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
anothershittynickname · 16/01/2013 20:33

shakey - this is what I was thinking, something new!

I just don't get how my DN won't get confused IYSWIM

OP posts:
fairylightsandtinsel · 16/01/2013 20:34

well we've been using the approved "no nappies" approach for the last 8 months with DS and he still hasn't 100% got it so no method is fool-proof. Let them try. They may be lucky and have it done and dusted in a week Envy

Original poster
anothershittynickname · 16/01/2013 20:36

goingveryslowly THANKYOU - maybe I'm just shit at explaining my point but this is it :-)

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 16/01/2013 20:36

Actually I was "oo-erring" at your "is that easy enough for you to understand" comment.

Original poster
anothershittynickname · 16/01/2013 20:41

shakey - I wrote that before I saw any other comments - it was directed at post #2

OP posts:
ClaireDeTamble · 16/01/2013 20:44

That's how I potty trained my DD.

She started showing an interest at about 22 months so we switched to pull-ups and let her dictate the pace.

Within 2 weeks she was doing all poos on the toilet and was completely dry and out of pull-ups during the day by a couple of weeks after her second birthday. Also, she never really used a potty - just took straight to the toilet.

We would ask her if she needed a wee before going out and periodically throughout the day, but if she wee'd in her pull-up we just changed her without making a fuss.

When she'd been consistently dry all day for about a week we switched to pants and only ever had a handful of accidents while she was awake - she did have a few accidents during naps if we forgot to put a pull-up on and she wasn't dry in the night until she was four - but sleep dryness is hormonal anyway.

I think it's a great way to train if it suits the parents and the child - hardly any accidents, not having to stick close to home for a few days when starting to train, not ending up with wee all over the floor and not having to bother with the travel potty.

It was totally not a big deal.

Original poster
anothershittynickname · 16/01/2013 20:49

Maybe it's me then :-/

I thought the sensation of feeling wet (which they don't in nappies) was gave them an incentive, for want of a better word, to go on the potty / toilet?! Well, it did with my 4 anyway!

OP posts:
foreverondiet · 16/01/2013 20:50

It might work, dd did this herself - ie asked us to take nappy of when she needed poo - from just before 2nd birthday. Think this might be harder for wees but worth a try although I suspect it wouldn't work for most children.

ilovepowerhoop · 16/01/2013 20:50

thats how I did it with ds too as he was only about 20 months when he showed signs he was ready. I put him in pull up nappies and took him to the toilet regularly. When he was reliable at saying he needed the toilet and could hold on till he got there I put him into pants.He had very few accidents and was day trained by the age of 2.

ceeveebee · 16/01/2013 20:55

You sound like a nice supportive SIL Hmm

glenthebattleostrich · 16/01/2013 21:00

DD trained like this. She was in pull ups for a couple of weeks then decided to wear pants. She's been dry pretty much since then.

She was day trained about 2 weeks before her 2nd birthday and is reliably dry at night now (7 months later)

PrettyKitty1986 · 16/01/2013 21:49

Ds2 has been using the toilet since he was 14 months old because he was copying ds1. Should I have put him in pants straight away? Confused

discrete · 16/01/2013 21:58

That's how both of mine have been potty trained. We just left them to it and they sorted themselves out, shortly after age 2.

Worked fine, why wouldn't it? TBH never occurred to me to do it any other way.

nokidshere · 16/01/2013 22:04

The two year old I childmind started saying he needed a wee or poo a few months ago and has used the potty on and off in conjunction with nappies for that period.

9 days ago we switched to proper pants and he hasn't had a single accident even when he is sleeping. He still wears nappies for bed but he wakes for a wee and uses the potty - even if he has a nappy on. So they should be gone fairly soon too.

JumpHerWho · 16/01/2013 22:42

Having done no research into potty training at all (1x DS, 12mo) it seems a totally sensible tactic.

Having done BLW, the idea of letting them lead the way with new things without adding pressure or forcing them to learn by training them, just seems wrong. Why do they need to wet themselves to learn not to? It's like taking away milk to make them eat meals. It'll happen when they're ready, surely? I'm a big fan of putting the right conditions in place for stuff and letting them get on with it, keeping pressure, upset and confrontation minimal. I will obv do my research before embarking on the adventure, but think I'll do what your SiL has done OP Smile

fatlazymummy · 16/01/2013 22:48

I wouldn' t do it this way either, that' s not to say it' s wrong, or even ' bonkers' though. There is usually more than one way of doing things.

HildaOgden · 16/01/2013 22:54

They sound like they are approaching it calmly and supportively.He will probably be eager to get his 'big boy' pants,in the meantime they are going at his pace.So what?If it works for them,and they are all happy,what's the problem?

Just because you've had 4 children,doesn't mean you know all children.What worked for yours mightn't work for others.

It really has nothing to do with you,so just get on with your own child-rearing and leave them to theirs,unless they specifically ask for your opinion on it.