To not let my daughter go to Newquay

[Karris73]

My daughter really wants to go to Newquay to celebrate completing her GCSEs and after reading online I have said no. Am I unreasonable

It's not my daughter who I don't trust, it is everyone else!

Yeah I can't remember if I replied to your thread but I think I would be the same. I probably replied that I'd left home by then blah blah blah and you should give her more freedom - but I wouldn't let ds!

For some people, it doesn't matter what everyone else tells them it a good idea. I managed to go to Newquay, Ibiza and Magaluf with my virginity and came home with it...despite so-called friends trying to talk me into shagging a club rep (JUST SAY NO! ). Also made it through my undergraduate degree - during which I was a bit of a Crasher Kid - without touching drugs. I didn't graduate with my virginity though because I acquired myself a Naice Boyfriend.

I suppose not everyone is a) lucky enough not to find themselves in a vulnerable situation and b) resolute enough to stick with what they want in the cold light of day. I don't know how parents bring themselves to let their kids leave the house...though I must say the wildest friends of mine were the ones with the strictest parents. Not to say that being relaxed is the answer though, everyone is different.

I know, I left home at 16 and had my own flat, so what right do I have to prevent my dd from having freedom at the same age?

I have changed a bit in the last year - dd has got a lot more independence, she pretty well does as she pleases (she is a very sensible girl, I trust her implicitly).

She'll be surrounded with lots of kids drinking, having sex, taking drugs - of course she can say no but unless she has a good group of friends all saying no then there's a chance she'll get caught up in it - it's not always about trusting your own child is it - it's about trusting everyone else as well - there have been some terrible incidents in recent years - kids want to go because they've heard about how wild it gets - (not nice for local residents or regular holiday makers) - have a long chat with her and suggest something else that she can do that her good friends can be involved with.

Ummm.... I've thought about it a bit more. My mum didn't know a thing about what I was doing either before or after my Newquay adventure, any of them, I told her I was going to stay with a mate. I think I was 17 and already traveling about the country by myself to see mates and family, clubbing etc. I moved out more or less the minutes I was 18 and that was that, no one told me what to do or where to go from them on. Later I went right around the globe solo, no mobiles in those days, nobody had a clue where I was on any given day, a few hairy moments but nothing terrible happened.

I actually had a baby with one of those lads (see above post), but not until I was 36. I honestly think I was more sensible way back then than I was in my 30's when I made much bigger more stupid mistakes with far greater consequences.

I had no idea kids still did this!

My younger sister did this when she finisher her GCSE. Let her go... my sister stills speaks about how great it was. Yes, stuff will happen that it might cause you to frown..!

Whatever you think she might get up to in Newquay... she will do regardless of where she is. Allowing her to go isnt giving her a platform and a free pass to do wrong. Its demonstrating trust and giving her responsibility.

Let her go!

I actually had a baby with one of those lads (see above post), but not until I was 36. I honestly think I was more sensible way back then than I was in my 30's when I made much bigger more stupid mistakes with far greater consequences

^ This

I went when I was 17 and used a friends ID. (22 now so 5 years ago!)

There was drinking, sex, nightclubs, general antics. It was amazing . Obviously DS is NEVER going.

I don't think there is a lot of drugs there as some have suggested. Bristol i've heard has a big drugs scene. All I saw was drink. It's not like a festival, more just nightclubs and beaches!

Big drug scene in Newquay!

Do you know any of her friends mums? My dd wanted to go to some daft festival when she was 15 and "all her friends were going"!!! I called round and they had all told their parents the other parents were fine with it!!!

3 years ago I said yes to a post GCSE break and no to Newquay. My concern was not that DD would be sensible (she is to a fault). It was more that she was already getting stressed by having to be the sensible one when her friends got drunk at home. I didn't want her under that sort of pressure for a week without parental backup.

"Ever since I found condoms in her room I haven't been able to trust her"

Wait a minute, I am presuming your daughter is 16 since she has completed her GCSE's... 16 being the legal age of consent... and the fact you found condoms means she's being safe and mature about it.

Sounds to me like your daughter is sensible and mature, so why shouldn't she go to Newquay with her friends? I was living with my current partner at 16!!

I think there is probably a major drugs scene in every seaside town going!

from what has been said about it on this thread, I wouldn't be keen on it.

I went to Glastonbury to celebrate the end of my GCSEs! It's only since becoming a parent that I've realised how brave my mum was to let me go!

Well who would be paying for it, you or her?
The condoms thing shows she is trustworthy and responsible, and the fact she told you she wasnt sexually active is possibly true isn't it? how did you find them by the way?

As a 22 year old, Newquay is vey fresh in my mind, so no I wouldn't ket her go, yanbu!!

Also I got turned away from clubs at 17 because I had no Id, only for an hour later to be let in with no problems...

YABU. She's 16 not 12.

She isn't 16 yet and only would have just turned 16 when she leaves. I found them when cleaning her room the other week. I talked to her about it when she returned home today and she told me that an 19 year old lad was round when my husband and I were out with our other children.

If you can honestly say that you would not mind hundreds of teenagers gathering outside your house, vomiting in your garden, having sex in your driveway and leaving litter all over your street, then let her go.
People live in Newquay, and the hundreds of teenagers who descend every year cause absolute misery fr the locals. As they have only just left school, I doubt many of them are paying for themselves. If you are giving your teen money/permission to go then your enabling such behaviour and disrespect to people of the town. Please think twice.

She has a job and has volunteered to pay herself but after your comments I think I'll keep her at home. Also should I make a new thread about this having one-off sex with this lad that is 4 years older? I've never even heard of him before, now my daughter has been with him and from what I can understand from other parents he's bad news

She's 16, the police couldn't bring her home and she could move out.
Surely it's better to show you trust her?

As part of the Newquay Safe programme if any under 18s are found drunk they are brought to the police station, parents are phoned and asked to collect them immediately (from wherever they are in the country). If the parents refuse, the children are put into the protection of children's services until the parents/guardians come and get them.

Local SWs are also informed of the incident and they may follow it up.

Newquay is the hardest place in the country to get a drink under age in the summer. Most of the alcohol incidents are caused by parents loading their teens with booze before they leave home.

YANBU. I wouldn't.