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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my daughter go to Newquay

103 replies

Karris73 · 15/01/2013 12:45

My daughter really wants to go to Newquay to celebrate completing her GCSEs and after reading online I have said no. Am I unreasonable

OP posts:
HazelnutinCaramel · 15/01/2013 13:10

Depends on how sensible she and her friends are.

Remember that she could get pissed, offered drugs or have ill-advised gropes in your local town centre.

Condoms in her room I'd say is a good thing!

HazelnutinCaramel · 15/01/2013 13:12

Having the condoms doesn't mean she lied to you and is sexually active. It means she's prepared for when it happens - sensible girl.

What is she like? And her friends? It all hinges on that.

dexter73 · 15/01/2013 13:12

Just because she has condoms in her room doesn't mean she is sexually active.

CasperGutman · 15/01/2013 13:12

I appreciate her being responsible and am proud of that but we have a very open relationship and she assured me that she wasn't sexually active and then I found them a number of days later.

The thing with condoms is, you need to have them in your possession before you get down to being sexually active.

mumblechum1 · 15/01/2013 13:12

DS went last year and had a great time. He was moaning for the first couple of days because they couldn't buy alcohol legitimately but they found a way!

GetOrf · 15/01/2013 13:13

Your not being unreasonable on not letting her go. I said that I didn't want dd to go, didn't labour the point but I did say that I wasn't going to allow it.

Re the condoms though - she may not be sexually active. She might just have them in case. And about something so personal - yes you are close but she doesn't have to tell you. Just because she wants to keep something private doesn't mean that she is not to be trusted.

GetOrf · 15/01/2013 13:13

You're, fgs.

valiumredhead · 15/01/2013 13:14

I'm sure this is an old thread? Confused

Original poster
Karris73 · 15/01/2013 13:15

Hmm, I guess so. I'm not sure now. She is normally sensible but one of her friends is totally out of control and that is my main concern as she encourages the others to partake in drinking and once smoking cannabis what my daughter was punished for

OP posts:
ZooAnimals · 15/01/2013 13:16

We got given condoms at school as part of sex education at about 14, took them home and put them in a drawer. I was not sexually active nor were the majority of the class.

RubyGates · 15/01/2013 13:18

I'm having a strange sense of deja-vu...
Wsn't there an almost identical thread about a girl who was supposed to be satying with a family and it transpired that the parents had buggered off to FRance leaving a house-full of teenagers and a crate of wine?

Getoutofmygumboot · 15/01/2013 13:20

You don't trust her because she is using condoms? Would you prefer her to do it without? Confused

She sounds pretty sensible to me!

Charmingbaker · 15/01/2013 13:23

My friend is having the same dilemma with her DD. She was very unsure at first but has since rung round lots of the B&Bs that take teenagers. All the owners have said that things in Newquay have really tightened up lately. Everywhere is very strict on ID for buying alcohol and lots of the clubs do under 18 nights, where alcohol is not for sale at all. The B&Bs have a strict no alcohol and drugs rule and will search rooms if they feel necessary. My friend was left feeling that rules might be tighter in Newquay than elsewhere and there is a Market specifically aimed at 16-18s.

GirlOutNumbered · 15/01/2013 13:23

YANBU. I grew up in Cornwall and Newquay has gone from being a fun town to a dive. It's rough, full of kids 'celebrating' GCSEs, stags and hens and pretty much all other undesirables. A couple of kids have died there, but that happens everywhere were teenagers and too much booze mix.

It is hard to be the one that says no though isnt it. Could you maybe allow her to go somewhere a little more quiet? Bude for instance.

valiumredhead · 15/01/2013 13:24

Seems familiar as I said earlier ruby...

GetOrf · 15/01/2013 13:25

Valium I started a pretty much identical thread last January, I have just found it. Grin

Tanyaaah · 15/01/2013 13:25

I went with my friends when we were 17-18. We went camping, we went to the beach every day, we went on one night out. Nothing bad happened. We had a great time!

valiumredhead · 15/01/2013 13:25

What happened Getorf did you let her go?

vintageviolets · 15/01/2013 13:26

I live near there, it seems nice to me, I think anything can happen in any town.

Probably much better than Magaluf though Grin

Original poster
Karris73 · 15/01/2013 13:27

Sorry I not see it. I may suggest another place, of she declines I will tell her she isn't going

OP posts:
GetOrf · 15/01/2013 13:31

Oh no, didn't mean you should have seen the old thread karris.

Val nobody went in the end - it was an idea that came to nothing.

She went to a couple of festivals for the day during the summer, and she has stayed in a hotel in London with friends a few times to see gigs, so I do trust her and give her freedom. Just organised piss ups in twatty places like Newquay were off limits.

chubbleigh · 15/01/2013 13:36

Oh Newquay... those were the days. I went there in the back of a transit van with about 11 lads (slightly older) lads and me! I remember being in a swimming pool with all of them, thinking back it was like a baby zebra and a lot of crocodiles. I remember getting up in the night to go to the loo and getting lost in a sea of tents. I remember driving around in the middle of the night with three lads driving, one on pedals, one on gears and one steering, all drunk. I remember some of the pubs, the Sailor in particular, the fight, the rozzers laughing, getting blue lights on the motorway coming home. Ate only crisps and chips for days. Never went surfing. It was all absolutely effing bloody brilliant, still got the photos.

Sorry.... what was the question again......

Cherylkerl · 15/01/2013 13:37

Karris if she has condoms in her possession, it sounds like you've done something right that they are on her radar. She might not actually be active or she might just have been mortified to tell you face to face what she had done.

FWIW, I did go to Newquay at that age and it was fantastic, but then I was happy being the 'sensible' one of the group - happy to watch my mates smoke weed and know some were having sex with boys but resolute that that wasn't for me at that time (we did go out quite alot though). None of the girls I went with were scarred for life by anything, a couple did have flings and did smoke a joint, but to be honest, they indulged in that back at home too. I gather it might have changed since 1996 though...I can't imagine it's the same now but not sure in what way, eg. it was easy to get served for alcohol then so if teenagers are getting ID'd now...it can't have been good in 'my day'. In fact, I seem to remember the caravan site security guard was the person that provided the weed stash. Standards!

Kyrptonite · 15/01/2013 13:39

Can you actually stop her going? She's 16, the police couldn't bring her home and she could move out.
Surely it's better to show you trust her?

HoneyDragon · 15/01/2013 13:41

You know when people get that thread déjà vous moment - I am always really tempted to pipe up

Yes, it was on Netmums last month

And see who looks sheepish Grin

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