Is it Unreasonable to bite your kids back?

[AnneNonimous]

When they bite you? Or more to the point a baby?

DS is almost ten months and has discovered biting people. He has almost 5 teeth so it's painful, and he favours the boobs or face but will pretty much go for anywhere. It REALLY does hurt. A couple of times it's hurt so much I've screamed out and scared him so he's cried, but it hasn't stopped him. I've also given him teething rings or something else to chew on, told him 'no' in a firm voice everytime but to no avail - he won't stop.

Anyone I mention it to tell me to bite him back - not hard but so he understands what biting is. I can't quite bring myself to do it but I have to admit I've been close when he's really hurt me! Is it what you would do/ have done? I can't quite believe a 10 month old could learn a lesson that way I just don't know?

*very very much!

Ds was a biter

I would put him down the second he did it and walk away. He soon got the message.

The biting back thing used to be common advice.

please don't bite back it is classed as child abuse, i know a mother who was arrested and child put on at risk register for biting her son, as he was biting her and baby brother.

I am sure there were lots of other issues as well thoughts

Ds2 was a biter. Ds1 had done it once or twice, but that was it. With ds1 saying "No!" (firmly but not shouting), plonking him down on the floor and not giving him any attention worked pretty quickly. I'd figured the same would work with ds2 but sadly no.

He seemed to delight in it, little sod. Anyway it got to the point when I could see it coming. It was frustration rather than maliciousness mostly (ds1 was a much earlier talker so had other ways to express himself). I tried everything to stop ds2 but nothing seemed to have an effect, he seemed to simply not care that it hurt. Would never have considered biting him back though.

One day I saw him lunge (it was almost exclusively me he went for) so I took hold of his arm and put it in front of his face, so he bit himself. The look on his face! He didn't bite for a good few days after that, and the next time it happened I did it again. That was it, no more.

Should probably say that on those occasions when I git him to bite himself I didn't pull him around, wasn't angry/shouty with him, just very matter of fact about it.

thoughts, I think we need to remember that most parents adore their kids and wouldnt dream of inflicting hurt on them, classing a nip back with the teeth as child abuse is ridiculous. For us it worked. Im sensible enough to trust my own behaviour and perhaps we should stop judging eachother and accept that.

Its also a bit patronising adopting the old "bless em, they didnt know any better" attitude towards our own parents. i suspect that most of us raised the the seventues were smacked as needed and are we all raging damaged psychos? Nope. But I suspect that we are looking at a timebomb of bad behaviour when our kids reach teenage years as entitled brats who have never been admonished effectively or disciplined because parents let thrnsekves become undermined by peer pressure.

sparkling if that was the case would it be exclusive to me? would he not be doing it more often and to others?

i suspect that most of us raised the the seventues were smacked as needed and are we all raging damaged psychos? Nope.

Actually, I think that if you believe that biting your child as a form of disclipline is acceptable then you HAVE been damaged by your upbringing.

I was smacked, and threatened with smacking and it's not something that I would ever, ever inflict on my DS. There are loads of ways to discipline a child without hitting them.

I think biting a child is one of the classic symptoms of abuse
I think you have to pretty evil to think it's ok

Yes I agree randomly biting a child is a shit thing to do but this thread is not what that is about.

born Im not talking about regular earboxing, threats, hitting and slapping FFS, i was smacked about three or four times in my entire childhood. I expect we all were.
So, Ill thank you for not making comments about my oh-so-damaging upbringing!!!

The hysteria is incredible, whatever happened to commonsense?

It's not hysterical to think that inflicting pain as a form of discipline is not acceptable.

Actually, I think that if you believe that biting your child as a form of disclipline is acceptable then you HAVE been damaged by your upbringing

It really wasn't that long ago that biting your child back was recommended - standard advice from just about anyone.

really? I have never heard of anyone biting their child IRL

I'm gobsmacked that people bite their kids!! Have heard if it obviously,but honestly never thought people still did it!??

as for saying but it works so would a belt,slipper or cattle prod, doesn't make it justifiable.

My nephew is a hair puller, he's about 17 months. If my DD (19 months) has a toy and he wants it, he'll pull her hair. MIL said the other week that she (MIL, not DD) did it back to him infront of his mother and she wasn't impressed. Not fecking surprised really!

It really wasn't that long ago that biting your child back was recommended - standard advice from just about anyone.

Was it? I'm nearly 60 and I have never heard of this before. I can't believe anyone would think it OK to bite a baby - even if he did it first. I have just re-read OP's post and her DS is 10 months old!

I'm really surprised yo haven't heard it before. It really was 'the norm' - smacking used to be 'normal too. I'm not saying either is right.

My eldest is 16 years old.

He was a biter [though never bit me funnily enough]

I was advised by loads of people including two health visitors to bite him back when he bit, so he would 'know what it feels like' he was around 12-18 months, wasn't teething and tended to do it when he got excited around other children. This was around 1997-1998.

I didn't bite him because I just couldn't.

Look at number 5
childcare.about.com/cs/behaviors/f/biting.htm

To add, I know people that did bite their toddlers back and TBH it did stop them doing it again.

But still not something Id feel comfortable doing to my child.

I do too amber but not something I would do

I know smacking was the norm, but deliberately biting a baby does not strike me as normal behaviour at all. Number 5 on your list, valium, does say 'don't bite your baby', so they must have heard of it, but they are doing the opposite of recommending it.

Think I was scarred by news coverage of a case when I was about 10 of a toddler murdered by her father, she was bitten all over.

Tyra henry her name was.

I know that is far removed from what is being discussed here, but it horrified me at the time!

My DS is 14 mo & is going through a phase of biting like a puppy would while playing. I mentioned it to my brother recently & he suggested biting back because it worked for his cat! The cat is apparently now on it's best behaviour around him but still bites my SIL. I've gently suggested that this probably isn't an acceptable form of discipline for a cat or a baby & can't help wondering how long it took him to get all of the cat hair out of his mouth. Yuck. Who would even consider biting a cat?! Just the thought of all that fur would be enough to put me off, let alone the cruelty issues!