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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to go absolutly mental at my sister

31 replies

yellowsheep · 13/01/2013 21:34

My sister has give dd a computer for hee room all well and good we could not have afforded one for her and there is lots of fighting amongst the dc for computer times.

Dh went to set it up and it is absolutly loaded with porn my sister is gay ( this is relevant) there is lots of pictures of her and her girlfriend in bed and more.... Even the hone screen is pornographic

I did not need to see this and thankfully dh had sent dd for something when he had turned it on so she didn't see anything
Dd is 7

Aibu to be mighty passed off about this she didn't mention anything except asked if dh could copy some picture onto a CD for her

I intend to. Copy everything to CD. And post it through her doordhe works nights and see what she has to say for herself

OP posts:
Original poster
yellowsheep · 13/01/2013 21:36

O know she is very young for pc in room but dh will restrict it for her school website misgivings monster nick Jr etc..

OP posts:
MincePiesAndBaileys · 13/01/2013 21:37

Did she forget to cleanse her machine or was it intentional? Does your daughter know she is gay?

Yanbu, when your dd is aged 7. What she did was inappropriate but maybe she didn't think anything of it and jut packed up the PC and have it to you without checking if anything needed deleting?

Ilovewaleswhenitrains · 13/01/2013 21:38

I would be so angry and upset if this had happened to me. It's a kind act to give a computer to your daughter, but she should have removed the porn first, or told you about it so you could remove it. TBH I wouldn't want to see photos of my sister with a partner (either gender).

quoteunquote · 13/01/2013 21:39

Maybe she didn't know how to clear it and was by asking you to put photos on CD, to do the checking in the setting up,

If she is nice enough to give a computer, I doubt she was doing it on purpose.

Have a chat about being careful about what children are exposed to, she probable needs it spelling out, people without children sometimes don't get it.

Fakebook · 13/01/2013 21:39

So you trawled through all the pics eh?

If I'd seen a pornographic home screen I would have turned it off and given the computer back and told her to clean it and then give it back.

Passthesaltdear · 13/01/2013 21:39

I would be really pissed off, how thoughtless of her. If I was giving somebody, ESP a child a computer I would make sure all my stuff was cleared from it first. What a selfish thing to have done Shock

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 13/01/2013 21:42

She obviously forgot about it, there is no way she would want you seeing intimate pictures of her.

I can see why you are upset but I would put it down to being an accident, your dd didn't see it so no harm done.

NoelHeadbands · 13/01/2013 21:43

I would presume it was a horrendous and embarrassing mistake.

Original poster
yellowsheep · 13/01/2013 21:44

Dd has been asked to be bridesmaid at their wedding later in the year so she knows and likes other woman. I just don't think she needs to see them in bed together iyswim I would fealing the same about her aunt and uncle

I didn't trawl through pictures they were lots on home screen I haven't even looked in the picture folder I have no idea which pictures she wanted me to copy... But it only takes a few minutes to wipe a pc if she had told me I would have done it

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CoolaSchmoola · 13/01/2013 21:47

Is your sister the sort of person who would deliberately show her young niece, her sister and her DBIL explicit pictures of herself? It seems unlikely that anyone would do this deliberately.

The fact that her personal pictures are on there, along with the porn, would say that it was unintentional. Not everyone knows how to delete things properly.

ripsishere · 13/01/2013 21:48

YANBU however, I imagine your sister would be mortified if she knew what had happened.
Can you just copy all the content and leave it at that? I find it hard to imagine that anyone, regardless of their sexuality would deliberately leave porn on a machine headed for a child.

CoolaSchmoola · 13/01/2013 21:49

FWIW I would always check and wipe a computer that has been given to a child before letting the child anywhere near it.

As I said - not everyone knows how to do it properly, or at all in some cases. Add to that the fact that many children are incredibly adept on computers they may access files that someone may have missed.

The only way to be sure is to routinely wipe computers for children before the children have any access to it.

Samnella · 13/01/2013 21:50

Assuming your DD didn't see anything and your sister is unlikely to have done it on purpose I wouldn't say anything. It will embarrass your sister needlessly. She has donated the computer which was kind of her. Yes she shouls ahve removed her pics but perhaps she just didn't consider it.

hermioneweasley · 13/01/2013 21:51

I don't see why her being gay is relevant, but agree with others saying it's a mistake which is embarrassing for her. Unless she has form for weird shit, you are over reacting.

I would think it was funny.

ThalianotFailure · 13/01/2013 21:54

I don't understand why it is relevant that your sister is gay? There are inappropriate (for your DD) pictures of her with her partner on this computer. That's all, the fact that her partner is a woman is neither here not there. Probably a stupid mistake which is easily rectified.

TiaMariaandSpringCleaning · 13/01/2013 21:55

I'd assume it was a mistake, but a very daft one if by 'home screen' you mean the wallpaper on the desktop. (in which case she'd have seen it every time she used the PC!) - Could she have thought her DW had wiped it and visa versa?

I remember giving an old PC to a friend years ago - there was nothing private on it, let alone porn or pics of me in bed, but I still wiped it twice and triple checked it before it left the house!

Original poster
yellowsheep · 13/01/2013 21:55

Fair enough I guess it could have been a mistake......

I will copy everything tomorrow and wipe the thing then get dh to check it and put the locks on the websites we agreed she can use

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myfirstkitchen · 13/01/2013 21:55

How repulsive.
Gay or straight no one would want to see photos like that of their sister.
Is her Facebook still logged in? Email login? All her personal info etc as well? If all that's there too she probably didn't think about anyone else seeing anything and just forgot / didn't realise she needs to wipe it.
If its only the porn I would go mental.

Original poster
yellowsheep · 13/01/2013 21:56

Yes homescreen is the wallpaper

OP posts:
Tryharder · 13/01/2013 21:59

YANBU. How thoughtless! I can't believe she wouldn't have thought to delete the stuff off. Was it her idea of a sick joke?

I bought a second hand computer off eBay and it was full of porn. You couldn't get rid of the stuff. Everytime you deleted it, it would just reappear. It was a nightmare to get rid of it all.

MidnightMasquerader · 13/01/2013 22:07

Seriously... I really, really don't think anyone sane would leave pornographic images of themselves on a computer specifically for their family members, in-laws and nieces/nephews to see.

Who does this??!

I would give her the benefit of the doubt. It wouldn't occur to me to do otherwise! She is probably mortified.

HappyNewHissy · 13/01/2013 22:15

YANBU, and DON'T put this in your DD's room.

Never do that!

It needs to be in plain sight. Seriously.

cheesesarnie · 13/01/2013 22:19

op- its a bit shitty to assume that your sister did it on purpose!

Fakebook · 13/01/2013 22:31

How can you not remember to delete a pornographic home screen? Hmm. Who keeps 100's of naked pornographic pics of themselves in bed on their computer and then "forgets" to delete them? She sounds seriously fucked up. If she's a mature age (18+), then I'd be mightily pissed off.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 13/01/2013 22:39

I have a couple of computers that I haven't used in over a year that are sitting in a cupboard all boxed up. I don't know whats on them at all although I do know there is no porn on there, it would be pretty easy to forget to delete something from a computer thats not in use.