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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder if all only children are spoilt?

89 replies

MissScarletintheLibrary · 13/01/2013 14:34

Out of all people I would consider to be a friend and someone I spend time with I only have one friend who is an only child.

I love my friend but she does always seem to want her own way. Such as I organised a meal and cinema night, when I got there she had changed the film we were seeing and the restaurant.

We had a night in on New Year and I said lets play this game, and she replied "oh but I wanted to play this game instead, we can play that other one later." Which of course didn't happen.

A few friends have seen her do this and just remark that it's probably because she is an only child and used to getting her own way which does make sense.

However like I said I only know one person who is an only child so I can't generalise.

OP posts:
Ministrone · 13/01/2013 14:36

well there you go you cant generalise

MrsMaryCooper · 13/01/2013 14:38

I'm and only and I am not like this. ( not just my opinion - I have had it independently confirmed)

The people I know who like their own way are from large families where you often have to shout to be heard.

FreudianLisp · 13/01/2013 14:39

Err, no. Not all only children are spoilt. And not all people from larger families are unspoilt. I can't believe you're generalising from a sample of one.

Shesparkles · 13/01/2013 14:39

My dad was an only one, dh is an only, my niece is a only. I'd not describe any of them as spoilt

Happyasapiginshite · 13/01/2013 14:39

My very first Biscuit

Shesparkles · 13/01/2013 14:40

The only downside with my dh, because I'm sure this stems from him being an only, is that he can't argue!'

perplexedpirate · 13/01/2013 14:41

Oh, piss off.

Original poster
MissScarletintheLibrary · 13/01/2013 14:41

That is why I am asking for opinions Freudian because I quite clearly said I can't generalise from only knowing one.

OP posts:
Taffeta · 13/01/2013 14:41

Depends on the individual. Some children are spoilt, be they only or one of siblings. I often find I have more in common with younger children, ie not the eldest of the family, as that's what I am. But not always...

GiveMeSomeSpace · 13/01/2013 14:41

I'm sure there are some that aren't. But in all honesty, I can't think of one "only child" that I know (child or adult), that don't display very self centred dendencies.

eggs11 · 13/01/2013 14:42

I'm not an only but i was disgustingly spoilt. My grandparents were had sons, then a grandson and then me as the pink princess. It has made me really generous (to the point i've had to reconsider as have lost money lending to friends etc). So I don't think being spoilt or having you own way makes you a selfish person.

My DS is an only and is very generous also.

SkinnybitchWannabe · 13/01/2013 14:43

I hope you dont let her get away with changing your plans?!!

noddyholder · 13/01/2013 14:43

My ds isn't spoilt he is the same roughly as all his mates.Some of them are only children and some are in bigger families and they all seem to have teh same amount of 'stuff'. My ds not particularly controlly re where we go etc

Original poster
MissScarletintheLibrary · 13/01/2013 14:44

perplexedpirate
Oh, piss off.
**

Really? I quite obviously said I cannot generalise from only knowing one only child in my OP.

I am asking for opinions on this.

Maybe my friend likes her own way because she's an only child or maybe that's just her. I don't know - hence the opinions.

If you want to contribute either say yes in my experience they are or no they aren't.

OP posts:
Taffeta · 13/01/2013 14:46

I know a few people like your friend op. they aren't onlys but they are entitled selfish people who were possibly over pandered to in their youth.

noddyholder · 13/01/2013 14:46

I am one of 4 and like my own way

CrazyChristmasLady · 13/01/2013 14:46

Can't say as I only know 1 person who is an only child, but I think some of her qualites do stem from that.

She sounds like a pita tbh and nothing to do with her being an only child, she is clearly just used to getting her own way all the time. I would NOT let her get away with changing things to suit her all the time. She is rude.

TwinTum · 13/01/2013 14:46

Of the children I know well, 2 are onlies (my niece and a friend of DD's). Both are spolit, but I do not attribute this to them being onlies but other circumstances. I know some adults who were onlies and if I didn't know I would never have guessed from their behaviour.

BsshBossh · 13/01/2013 14:51

I don't know many "onlies" as I think, especially in the past, most people had more than one child. But I'm an only, as is my DD, and we're not like this at all. In fact, all the self-centred people I know personally have siblings. But this doesn't make me generalise about people with siblings.

YABU.

JaponicaTroggs · 13/01/2013 14:52

What bollocks! Has nothing to do with her being an only child. I am the youngest of three and, quite frankly, have always been spoilt and pandered to way more than my older sisters. My DS is an only child with special needs and is far from spoilt. Such a nasty generalisation, It really boils my goat. Angry

MammaTJ · 13/01/2013 14:52

I'm not an only child and I can be like this sometimes! Grin

overmydeadbody · 13/01/2013 14:54

You're right. You can't generalise.

FuckityFuckFuck · 13/01/2013 15:04

DS is an only, and he is spoilt with toys etc because we have the money to do it and because my mother lives across the road so can spoil him with stuff as well. However, his personality is not spoilt and he is very polite, shares all his stuff when cousins visit, is helpful and caring

On the other hand, I am the youngest of 6 and when I was younger I was terribly spoilt, and expected everything done for me as and when I demanded it. Then I left home and grew the fuck up

So no, it's not because she is an only child, it's because she is a PITA

perplexedpirate · 13/01/2013 15:07

I'll contribute how I like thanks OP, because I like my own way and am quite self centred.
So is my brother.

kitbit · 13/01/2013 15:10

She's not like that because she's an only child, she's like that because she's rude.

The two are not connected Angry