to wonder if all only children are spoilt?

[MissScarletintheLibrary]

Out of all people I would consider to be a friend and someone I spend time with I only have one friend who is an only child.

I love my friend but she does always seem to want her own way. Such as I organised a meal and cinema night, when I got there she had changed the film we were seeing and the restaurant.

We had a night in on New Year and I said lets play this game, and she replied "oh but I wanted to play this game instead, we can play that other one later." Which of course didn't happen.

A few friends have seen her do this and just remark that it's probably because she is an only child and used to getting her own way which does make sense.

However like I said I only know one person who is an only child so I can't generalise.

LibraryMum,
I'm not sure the having fights and dropping people comes from being an only child.
We learn how to get over fights (or maybe we don't learn: we either do it or not) as we grow up with our parents and also with our friends at school.

Maybe in your case your friend was much more hurt than you think she was.

And having nasty fights and carrying on being friends is not necessarily a good thing, sometimes, when the other person is abusive.
Many women (and men) carry out relationships when they should really drop them.

Birth order affects people in different ways. I know two people who are so self-absorbed and demanding that their behaviour has caused problems for our friendship groups at times. One is the eldest of four and one is an only.

Admittedly I think the only is like this because he is an only child and has never had his demands to be in control of everything and to always get what he wants challenged.

The eldest of four is so used to having to demand everything he needs so loudly he has forgotten he doesn't need to treat his friends like his siblings.

Oh please don't OP! My dd is an only child and she is far from spoilt. My sil is also an only and is not either. I get really cross at my school when this is given as a reason for a child behaving badly when many children with siblings are exactly the same.

I am one of 3 but as the youngsest and only girl I do feel rather doted on by my parents and brothers, don't think I act spoilt though!

Absolutely nothing to do with her being an only child. The most spoiled person I ever knew was the third out of four children.

But then I'm an only and would say that.

This really pisses me off. My only child is polite, kind and shares really well. We've brought him up to realise that's the best way to be or people won't want to be friends with him - it's as simple as that.

Lots of his friends have older brothers who just dominate them and ds says he thinks they struggle to share with their brothers and they're always fighting. In fact, he's happy he's an only child.

Over Christmas, my ds played beautifully with his other 'only' cousin, whilst the other set of cousins, a sibling group of three, were desperate for attention from adults, climbing on knees, pushing their presents in peoples' faces, look at me look at me....

So no, you're as wrong with your assumption as I would be to think my sister with 3 kids doesn't have the time to fulfil each of her childrens' emotional needs. Bullshit.

It's a stereotype. The only thing an only child might be inherently more spoilt with is attention, as in more time to spend with them. And even that depends on the parents. I was an only until I was almost 8.

The most spoilt people I've ever met have been;
The eldest of three
The second of four
The youngest of four and only girl
The middle daughter of three daughters
The younger of two

*posted too soon.

So basically there is no rhyme or reason to being spoilt but I haven't met an only child I consider to be so yet.

Nope, my little sister is the spoiltiest spoilt brat there has ever been.

Just to go against the flow, I think the OP may have a point. IME only children (of whatever age) are more likely to behave selfishly than those who were obliged to accomodate the needs of siblings from a young age.

NB I only say "more likely", not that all onlys are selfish and all siblings are considerate to a fault.

Charming OP! I'm an only and I'm certainly not like that! GOT IT

Alis I worry for my sister's girls, the older two seem hell bent on being better, prettier, having more, done more, been there, seen that yawn than the other. They are only 10 and 8 so I do worry about jealousy being an ongoing thing between them if it's so incredibly bad now. One of them can't say anything without the other pushing in front and trying to trump her - then you have one that sulks or cries. It's bloody hard work being around them tbh.

None of the adult only children I know is like that in the least.

The person I know who is most like your description has three siblings (actually, I think he's the third out of four... perhaps VoiceOfUnreason and I have stumbled upon a new stereotype?)

I think it all goes down to innate personality and the parents.

My DS is obliged to accommodate my needs, as well as of his mates, his grandparents and his cousins, and so on.

He can be quite generous and accommodating, and, TBH, I suspect he would be a lot less if he had siblings.

If the parents of only children chose to accommodate all their needs, then they are more likely to be spoilt.

YANBU and every Austrian with a moustache is a genocidal psychopath.

More seriously, about 15% of the population are only children.
I think you will have met more than one.