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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit miffed that no one has remembered our anniversary?

95 replies

phantomhairpuller · 09/01/2013 17:33

We only got married 3 years ago! Out of 100 odd guests, only 2 have wished us happy anniversary!! None of our parents have mentioned it, nor the best man/bridesmaids.
DH thinks I'm being daft but I can't help but feel a bit miffed Hmm

OP posts:
Ephiny · 09/01/2013 18:15

We haven't had our first anniversary yet, but I wouldn't expect anyone to remember or make a fuss about it. I've certainly never remembered anyone else's!

(the big question will be whether DH or I remember it...)

HyvaPaiva · 09/01/2013 18:18

To be honest, I don't 'get' why wedding anniversaries are important to anyone except the couple. The marriage is the significant bit and that happens every day! Celebrating your lovely wedding memories and the anniversary of the start of married life is great for you and your DH privately but to except anyone else to care - not about your marriage itself but about the specific date - and be 'miffed' is to me a bit Confused and precious really. Have a happy anniversary not a miffed one!

TickleMyTitsTillFriday · 09/01/2013 18:20

We got a card from a friend on our first anniversary and I thought that was a bit weird to be honest, I couldn't give a flying toss about anyone's but mine.

CarlingBlackMabel · 09/01/2013 18:22

Your parents might have sent you a card, some (parents) are more conscientious than others.

But honestly, it is ridiculous to expect anyone else to celebrate your 3rd wedding anniversary.

Even the most high maintenance Bridezillas should come down to earth after the honeymoon.

Squitten · 09/01/2013 18:25

Nobody remembers ours and I can't say we remember anyone else's! We got a card or two on our first one but that was it.

We like to go out for a meal or something to celebrate another year of not murdering each other...

zlist · 09/01/2013 18:30

I think it is fairly usual to send a card for the first anniversary but not after that. We only get one from PIL now. I used to get one from a very close friend too but now we just exchange anniversary congratulations via facebook.
I also used to send one to the closest friend above, but we both stopped (I probably stopped first as mine is a month after hers). I now only send to PIL (as they take the trouble to remember ours) and any 'special' anniversaries.

pictish · 09/01/2013 18:41

I don't know anyone's anniversary - even if I was at the wedding!
In fact, dh and I forget our own anniversary.

Yabu.

DeafLeopard · 09/01/2013 18:46

Well done for taking it on the chin OP.

FWIW DH and I often have to ask each other when it is - but then we have been married aaaaaaaaages

Livingintheburbmum · 09/01/2013 19:26

Anniversaries are not like birthdays. Just for you and DP thus YABU. Sorry.

whois · 09/01/2013 19:37

YABU

I think anniversaries are more of a private thing between a couple, unless you're having a 'special' one and throw a party.

MrsMelons · 09/01/2013 19:39

I would expect my parents and brother to remember it as we are really close, FIL remembers also. SIL doesn't but she barely remembers to eat TBH so I forgive her Grin We always give cards to my parents and DB/SIL and I would give close friends cards on their 1st anniversary or 'big' ones but not every year.

The funny thing is that everyone else remembered and arranged to meet up at ours for a takeaway but me and DH had forgotten and couldn't understand why everyone wanted to come round to see us on a Monday night Blush

MrsMelons · 09/01/2013 19:40

BTW I wouldn't expect any friends to remember but it was nice that a few sent FB messages but it wouldn't bother me if not.

mrsjay · 09/01/2013 19:45

really nobody remembers after the first year maybe your parents/inlaw and your husband nobody sends cards for a 3rd it is your day not theirs you are celebrating your marraige not your wedding day iyswim

mrsjay · 09/01/2013 19:48

my friend put on FB that she was grateful her HUSBAND remembered their aniversary (sp) as nobody else had I was her bridesmaid and i sent her a card on her first but after that i dont think it matters till you get to the 25 mark but she was really pissed off with people.

HoratiaWinwood · 09/01/2013 19:55

YABU.

I acknowledge first anniversaries, and maybe significant milestones like 10, 20, 25, etc.

I don't want people to send me anniversary cards every year. The date is significant and precious to DH and me but isn't anybody else's business.

HeadfirstForHalos · 09/01/2013 19:55

DH and I know it's our anniversary when the ils give us a card Grin

Op, nobody cares about your anniversary, but be reassured they don't care about anybodies , you're not being singled out :)

MimsyBorogroves · 09/01/2013 19:59

I've always seen anniversaries as being for the couple, no-one else. It's how I've been brought up, too - my parents would find it odd if I celebrated theirs - I would buy them a card for a "big" anniversary, but that's it.

DH, on the other hand, buys his parents cards and presents for theirs. He will do the same for his sister. I think it's a nice idea, yes, but it feels a bit strange to me.

JustAHolyFool · 09/01/2013 20:01

God really? I don't even know when my anniversary is, or the anniversary of anyone I know.

claudedebussy · 09/01/2013 20:02

do you remember everyone else's?

SanityClause · 09/01/2013 20:03

Someone I work with always gives me an anniversary card, even though she wasn't at our wedding, and didn't even know us then.

She is the only person, (aside from DH, of course) who has ever given me an anniversary card. Frankly, I think it's weird.

chicaguapa · 09/01/2013 20:06

I always send a card on the first anniversary when I've been to the wedding. But I wouldn't send them after that.

maddening · 09/01/2013 20:06

I wouldn't expect anyone to remember - maybe my own parents at a push

ILoveSaladReallyIDo · 09/01/2013 20:09

YABU I never expect any, to me it's a couples thing so like getting a valentines card from someone who is not your partner

we get about 2 anniversary cards from immediate family and I even find that odd TBH, we never send them to anyone! even family!

the only time I'd expect one is for say a ruby anniversary where a party is thrown or similar

ILoveSaladReallyIDo · 09/01/2013 20:11

"Op, nobody cares about your anniversary, but be reassured they don't care about anybodies , you're not being singled out"

nicely put! I don't do anyones but my own, not even people who I was bridesmaid for

MrsMelons · 09/01/2013 20:12

Headfirst Grin