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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be P***ed off at dh who hasn't been getting our car serviced for the last few years

34 replies

lottie63 · 09/01/2013 12:25

Just found out, during a talk about the MOT, that dh (who's responsibility it is) has chosen not to get the car serviced for the past few tears 'because it would cost' apparently...

OP posts:
Sirzy · 09/01/2013 12:32

Why didn't you do it yourself?

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/01/2013 12:36

Well, if it's something you leave up to him, and it's passed the MOT, I can see his point. Or do you mean he's been telling you he'd service it and not doing so?

Shesparkles · 09/01/2013 12:37

Sorry-perhaps because she thought her husband was getting it done and she didn't think she had a reason to doubt him?

OP I'd be peed off too, dh and I have responsibility for our own cars but he's a NIGHTMARE for actually getting things done. He's one of those guys who think funny noises can be sorted by turning the radio louder!

mumblechum1 · 09/01/2013 12:38

Grin at Shesparkles

OP I'd just take responsibility to get it done myself if I were you and your dh can't be trusted. If it was just his car I'd leave him to sort it but it's in your interest to have a working car.

PleasePudding · 09/01/2013 12:42

We have stopped getting our crappy old cars serviced although we do get some of the repairs done which are recommended on the MOT. Are services actually worth it?

But YANBU if he has been implying that the car is regularly serviced.

NamingOfParts · 09/01/2013 12:48

Well, on the plus side, it has been MOT'd.

Depending on make and age of car many services are fixed price. Is it worth looking at getting a fixed price service so that things like oil change and fluid top ups will be done?

Assuming that the car is still running then this isnt a disaster.

It sounds like your DH is a bit like my DF was - everything involving the car was 'expensive' (quotes and italics were in DF's head).

Original poster
lottie63 · 09/01/2013 12:49

Well... To give you some context. Dh is very bad at taking responsibility for any 'maintenance'. This Xmas holiday, I have... fixed the kitchen tap, put together a 7ft IKEA wardrobe with the help of my two young dds, noticed dead lightbulbs and changed them, repaired dd1s desk and set of drawers that were falling to pieces as well as thinking about and buying ALL the kids' presents. Oh and I also pumped the car tyres up and filled with oil/screenwash. I do l the finances, organise all the holidays, etc. So, this was his ONE responsibility in life, along with getting the MOT done. I've also said he needs to sort out the car insurance. We both work.

So ... AIBU? It's a genuine question really If it passes the MOT, what's the point of the servicing?

OP posts:
StuckOnARollercoaster · 09/01/2013 12:50

My other half is known for rebuilding engines - and if he had more hours in the day we could probably have a regular income from it as this is happening so much at the moment!
The result of not doing an annual service - the oil changes, the brake checks etc is just a much higher bill in the future at best or at worst a breakdown/accident while you are driving. (Although I know some people do it, hoping to sell the car before they think these things will happen to them). A similar one is the quality of oil used - lots of places that offer a cut price service will use the cheapest oil so they can make some profit on the service - but this ultimately knackers up the engine.
Its a risk, and not one that I would take but its not fair that it wasn't a risk you were both aware of and agreed to take on together.

LifeofPo · 09/01/2013 12:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EldritchCleavage · 09/01/2013 12:51

YANBU. It sounds as though he's leaving you to do everything. Being an adult about it would have meant discussing it with you, and agreeing not to bother with it, not promising to do it then covertly not bothering.

throckenholt · 09/01/2013 12:55

So ... AIBU? It's a genuine question really If it passes the MOT, what's the point of the servicing?

There is a lot more to a good working car than passing the MOT - that pretty much just tests the brakes, lights, tyres and the emmissions.

At the very least you need to change the oil regularly, and the filters. But some othe things (cam belt etc) need to be changed every so often as well. You can't consistently ignore servicing and expect it to continue working.

Original poster
lottie63 · 09/01/2013 12:57

yes SheSparkles, I know what you mean. I had to repeatedly impress on dh that if the red warning oil light comes on, he absolutely MUST fill it with oil asap. He responds that he never notices it. I think that's a cop out. It's bright red. It's a warning light!

OP posts:
NamingOfParts · 09/01/2013 12:59

Servicing will mean that things like oil is changed, oil and air filters are replaced. Checking & replacing other fluids etc.

An MOT checks that essentially the car is safe. The service is useful for keeping it in good health. Many of the things covered in a service are useful for prevention of breakdown. Other checks will warn you that things will need replacing (eg brake components).

You dont have to act on the warnings and garages will not carry out work without your permission. However, problems highlighted but ignored during a service may need to be done when you get to MOT. The problem then is that you may well not have the chance to shop around.

NamingOfParts · 09/01/2013 13:02

YANBU

but...

If he is also responsible for sorting insurance you might need to check this is actually being done.

oldraver · 09/01/2013 13:03

As Throckenholt said..MOT is a basic legal requirment, there isn't always a need to have servicing done at a garage there are lots of things you can do yourself if you so wish.

However even my DB (who has a Motorsport business) passes on doing my cambelt Grin

JoanByers · 09/01/2013 13:49

How old is the car.

It's important to change oil regularly as a minimum but depending on how many miles you are doing, with modern oils, it might be perfectly fine.

TapirBackRider · 09/01/2013 13:53

We can't afford to have our car serviced, but dh does know how to do the basics re oil, tyre pressures etc and makes sure they're all done regularly.

I'd make sure your dh actually sorted the car insurance tbh.

OwlCatMouse · 09/01/2013 13:55

Who's car is it?

I relied on DP to make sure our last car was properly serviced - when we went to sell it I discovered that the cam belt that should have been changed when we bought it, hadn't, and I'd driven it for 50,000 miles!! Amazing the bloody thing never snapped.

So DP now organises the servicing, but as it is registered in my name and I'm the main driver, I make sure that everything is covered.

I do the insurance though.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 09/01/2013 13:58

I have my car serviced every year....it will be more reliable and last longer if it is looked after properly.

If you drive the car then you should be responsible as well as your DH......it's not exactly a hard task to book/take a car in for a service, I always get mine done when it is being MOT'd

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 09/01/2013 13:59

But you know that he is crap at these sorts of things. Maybe take this on and offload something else you do that he could be in charge of.

Or, ring and book it in and just ask dh to drop it at the garage on x day.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/01/2013 14:04

Oh. Right. That is shite then.

I don't think you should take responsibility for this. But you need to talk to him about what's going on. What does he think will happen when the car breaks down? Or if you didn't sort out all the other things?

Not my business of course - but, has he ever been single and dealt with this stuff? If not, it might be he really doesn't realize what a pain it is (not that this is an excuse, but it helps understand why he doesn't see why it matters).

I do think it's really important that you don't just decide this is one more thing you will do, because it is 'easy'. Sure it's easy. All of the things you're mentioning are easy, really, but they do all need doing! I would have thought you need a broader conversation with him about the fact you feel he's really not doing very much at all here.

NoMoreMarbles · 09/01/2013 14:06

I would be very pissed off at him if i were you!

My DH let all car related things slide and then complained when it failed the MOT 2 years running! i dont drive but i pay for 50% of the car costs and knew he wasnt doing what he needed to, discussed it with him numerous times and was told "im the one who drives it it is MY decision"Hmm

We had to scrap our car in october last year as he had repeatedly ignored the key getting jammed in the ignition until it eventually stopped accepting the key at all and the steering column was proven to be buggered beyond repair!

so it cost us a fortune in repairs over the 4 years we had the car to get it to pass the MOT then to try and fix the massive steering issue it cost us just under £100 which was recouped by the scrap value and had to buy a new (to us) car!

He promised to take better care of the new one...that lasted about a week...i have now booked the car in to be serviced by the local mechanic (family friend) for the feb 1/2 term and will FORCE DH to take the car as i will be going with him (work holidays!)

Original poster
lottie63 · 09/01/2013 14:44

it's a family car so we both use it.

DH - when single - didn't have a car. In fact, he made his life as simple as possible. I don't think he's ever really grown up in that way. I'd been asking him for ages to pump up the tyres. FFS, when I eventually got around to doing it myself, it was 13.5PSI instead of 33.5!

OP posts:
Dahlen · 09/01/2013 14:46

Sounds like it's not just the car that needs an overhaul.

OwlCatMouse · 09/01/2013 15:59

I meant who's name is on the paperwork/first named on insurance?

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