To not feel rich even though husband earns £250k a year

[whoovian]

I don't feel rich - I scarcely feel comfortable on this level of income.

Why is that - I grew up in a very poor family (not enough food at times type of poor) so I know what poverty feels like.

We are not extravagent spenders - we have one 1 week european holiday a year, no savings however we do have 4 children in private school(!) and live in London.

I feel unreasonable when I consider how little income others survive on but what do you think?

Bluefrog,

I know you were being lighthearted but freecyle is essentially for use by anyone who cant be bothered to go to the skip themselves - go to the chairty shop and to keep stuff out of landfill so lots of v wealthy use it for all sorts of reasons...shifting magazines on...

I am sure Roman Abranovich doesnt use it - but lots of wealthy people do...for all sorts of reasons not neccasarily about what they can afford -

I wouldnt be surpised for instance if Prince Charles somehow secretly used it...it fits.

Op

I just don't have the words.

I'm

Just

How secure is your husband's income, Whoovian? London is full of people with City-related jobs who based their lifestyles on the assumption they'd be able to maintain them for the long-term (big mortgage, private schooling etc) and are now having to face the prospect their earnings will fall short of expectations. Which doesn't mean we should feel sorry for them, necessarily, but it explains why they might feel insecure even on a higher income than most people can dream of.

actory Mon 07-Jan-13 18:41:06
"I suppose on 250k people assume they'll be living a very swanky life indeed. The life of a rich person, in fact."

The OP has already informed us that she spends 10k on food and 3k on Christmas and birthdays. Seems like a fair definition of a swanky life to me.

I've only read your own posts, Whoovian, and a few replies.. Interesting thread.

Before I got poor (am technically destitute atm,) I was really quite well off but, in all honesty, didn't realise how distant from ordinary life I'd become. Once or twice a year, I'd see the "average" salary on the news and be absolutely unable to imagine how people managed to run a home, car, family and holidays, etc, on that. I'm not saying I lived in a bubble of entitlement - I did really appreciate my nice food and nice life - but am embarrassed to recall what I thought of as economy measures, like buying cheaper wine and using fewer taxis.

My budget compared to yours:
I live alone in a 2-bed house, and am at home all day.

0 pension
0 council tax
1.5k utilities
1.5k grocery
0 holiday
0 insurance
0 burglar alarm
0 travel (car & public transport)
0 savings
0 birthdays/christmas
0.7k clothes; maintenance
0 going out.

Obviously this compares the sublime to the ridiculous - though it does illustrate why people with children need more benefits; the above budget represents the single-person's JSA of £3,692 pa.

Leaving your children's school fees out of the equation, you're still very comfortably off. If you're not "feeling" it, perhaps you can shunt your expenditure around a bit to create a budget for something that will increase your enjoyment of all this dosh? Can you think of something?

Yes but cory they think they'll be in desigbner kit, driving super-cars and jetting off to Sandy Bay as well.

I suppose the question OP, is what would you like to buy that you can't?

I would agree that if you've known what is like to be really poor that fear never goes away

And that is why I don't understand why they don't try to save more.

Schnitzel - fairly secure given that it is in the city but we do have lots of life and critical illness cover in case my husband is unwell. But I have taken on board the need for more savings as this does make me feel uneasy.

Cory - is £10k on food and £3k per year on presents (birthday and Christmas) for 6 people (plus other relations/ friends) swanky? As an example my Christmas present to hubby cost £140 - his to me probably similar. Is that extreme?

Garlicbollocks - I think that is a good idea. Another thing for me to think about.

It's like a freaking parallel universe in here

You don't feel rich?! This thread feels distasteful to me knowing how many people are struggling and living in poverty at the minute.

£250k.....boo hoo

Move and take your DCs out of private education.

Yes, £140 is swanky. DH got a box of 3 walnut whips off me and a £10.99 watch. I got a box of liqueurs and a £15 iTunes voucher off him.

But tbh, I think the OPs money is being spent on securing the future. An awful lot on pensions and education.

Chesty: Several posters have said "move". IMO this is a false economy because leaving town compels the main earner to a longer, harder commute while 'trapping' the family in the suburbs. You end up with two partners living completely separate lives - he probably spends too much time away from the home already - and the lower earner being socially, economically and geographically isolated.

I know the majority of London workers have to live out of town but, if staying in is feasible, it's a sensible lifestyle choice albeit an expensive one.

not very stealth boast. Obvs.

Btw, I felt 'treated' this Christmas, and so did he.

I don't imagine you'll ever feel comfortable, then. What a shame, eh?

I'm still getting my head around £85K for three children at private (day?) school. That's nearly 25,000 a year. The most expensive day school here (a very good one ) is 'only' around £14,000. Surely they must be boarders, which makes the whole 10,000 a year on groceries even more baffling. I really don't understand some of this!!

A lot of people seem to spectacularly miss what the OP is actually saying (and for FFA even the OP itself says "I feel unreasonable" - do we need a load of people shouting YABVVVU as if this is going to come as a revelation.

I think if you asked a lot of people around the country to imagine what a 250k lifestyle looks like it would involve a mansion, an Aston Martin, first class flights, skiing/long haul holidays and designer gear.

The reality is that it won't buy you that lifestyle, especially not if you have 4 kids and spunk most of it on school fees. Instead it buys you a very comfortable lifestyle, but one which doesn't include many of the cliches people reach for when you ask them to imagine what "rich" looks like. This is the OP's point. It is valid, and I'm sure it doesn't make her less grateful for what she has.

I agree.
I dont think this is about a monetary figure or lack thereof.
Who exactly are you comparing yourself to op?
Because if this thread is anything to go by, you are very well off indeed.
Perhaps a mental adjustment is what's needed?

yy Bluegrass.

bluegrass I don't think anyone assumes that 250k buys you any of those things.

It should be able to buy you comfort and the odd luxury, not mansions and Aston martins but clothes from the better end of the high street and a holiday abroad.

However if you are spending that much in school fees I think it can only really give you a comfortable life , particularly when one person is earning all of the money and therefore the majority of their income is being taxed at 40%. However even with these considerations you should be able to save.

People's circumstances vary and this means our incomes will provide different feelings of wealth.

We have an income of about £150, however we pay maintenance to our stepson's mother and we have four other children. We made a series of conscious choices that meant that luxuries like private education and luxury holidays would not be a part of our lives . We are not rich, but we are very very comfortable , which makes us rich in a different sense.

I don't think anyone is emtitled to tell you if you are being unreasonable and label what is rich/what is poor/what is swanky. These things are all relative.

Jealous people who complain OP doesn't know what it's like to earn £18k a year likely themselves don't know what it's like to earn £250k with her outgoings. They are equally as out of touch with reality as they claim OP is. To assume you should feel rich on £250k is wrong IMO, just as it is wrong to assume £18k household income makes you poor.

OP if you're struggling then the government have some very useful little websites to help you manage your finances and if it really is that desperate then although I would not advise them, a payday loan may be an acceptable short term solution this month so your shoe shine girl can be paid and you can still ensure fortnums delivering time.

OP. you really have no leg to stand on. What did you expect?

It is all relative to the people that you know, many of our friends have an income higher than us. My DH had turned down quite a few opportunities because he wanted family time and did not want to be constantly travelling . We also know quite a few couples who both earn high salaries , as we did before I went into teaching .

Most of our friends also have two children, we are supporting five as well as helping out other relatives . This again affects our disposable income in a way that is not obvious.

However I am aware that having a large family is a luxury , as is helping relatives.