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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect friends i see regularly & 'god parents' to send bday cards for my 5yo...

95 replies

driedapricots · 06/01/2013 20:29

...& not wait until the next time they see t
her, which is often weeks after the Big day...or worse still simply forget altogether...the bday is just after new year & only a small number remember & it seems to get less every year..many have dc born in the same year who she plays with regularly too. now shes getting older Dd realises who hasnt sent too & asks Why they havent..Sad

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 06/01/2013 20:32

God parents yes, friends no. Unless you have invited them for a party.

ginmakesitallok · 06/01/2013 20:32

YABU to expect your friends to send cards, but I would have thought god-parents should? Mine only get cards from family and friends who they invite to parties. I don't send cards to friend's children and don't know anyone else who does?

JoinTheDots · 06/01/2013 20:32

It's not ideal, but can you tell her that the reason they have not sent a card is because they want to see her open it, so they are waiting until the next time they see her to give a card / gift? At least then she will not feel hurt, even if you do.

SarahStratton · 06/01/2013 20:34

It would be nice if they sent them, but there's no obligation to do so. You've put 'god parents', rather than Godparents, are they actual Godparents?

dexter73 · 06/01/2013 20:34

I don't send cards to friends children either. God parents should do though.

StepfordWannabe · 06/01/2013 20:35

Oh grow up ffs

parakeet · 06/01/2013 20:36

YABU. Do you really think your child is the centre of the world?

SarahStratton · 06/01/2013 20:36

No need for rudeness.

Roseformeplease · 06/01/2013 20:36

YABU. We only give to friends' children if we happen to be seeing them on the day and never send cards. Good heavens! I have about 12 cousins and so 23 children plus at least 20 families we are good friends with so a further 40+ children - how the hell can we all keep up with that. You are very lucky they think of or remember her. Godparents and close family, that's different but, even then, they can't always get the exact day or date. Relax. It is not a birthday and it is YOUR responsibility to make it special, not anyone else's.

Jinsei · 06/01/2013 20:38

Yes to godparents but no to friends - it's nice if they do something for your dd's birthday but you shouldn't expect it.

I didn't post my goddaughter's card to her in time for her birthday, but gave it to her a week later at her "party". I'm assuming you wouldn't have a problem with this? (Goddaughter was only 1 so don't suppose she was bothered either way Grin)

MajesticWhine · 06/01/2013 20:39

YABU. Perhaps they have other things going on in their lives.

Jinsei · 06/01/2013 20:41

BTW, I find it a bit odd that your dd is asking why people haven't sent her anything. I can't imagine my dd asking anything like this. Where did her expectations come from?

Nancy66 · 06/01/2013 20:41

I don't send cards to friend's kids. I have already got enough relatives to remember, if I did friend's kids too I'd be sending cards every bloody day.

ILoveTIFFANY · 06/01/2013 20:41

Do you see them in church every Sunday

ilovepowerhoop · 06/01/2013 20:43

I dont send cards to friends kids and my two dont have godparents. They get cards from children going to their party and family (grans, aunts, etc) so I wouldnt expect them from anyone else

pictish · 06/01/2013 20:43

Yabu. I don't send my friend's kids cards.

SarahStratton · 06/01/2013 20:46

is this going to be another post and run? I want to know if they're proper God parents or not.

Binkybix · 06/01/2013 20:46

I find it surprising that you expect this. YABU.

KellyElly · 06/01/2013 20:49

Godparents and close family yes, friends no.

Stepford and parakeet do you make a habit of coming on a thread just to be a rude twat or are you having a bad day?

Kendodd · 06/01/2013 20:50

YABU. But, I do understand.

My children only have one uncle (DHs brother) and he has never sent any of my children a birthday card. He's married (no children) and lives abroad but we all see him at least once a year. We always send him a birthday card and it does make me quite sad that he never ever sends one to the DCs especially seeing they don't have any other aunts or uncles to get cards from. But, what can you do?

Original poster
driedapricots · 06/01/2013 20:51

Im talking about long term friends of mine, who we see regularly & whose dc my dc have played with since birth..not random mates..these are her friend! ...so actually, no i dont Think i need to grow up FFS.. its only a question Angry ...& no the world does not revolve around my dc, but i do Think bdays are magical times for little ones, 1 day a year when the world actually should revolve around them a little bit..indeed i always send said friends dc cards..its not really that much trouble.

OP posts:
Original poster
driedapricots · 06/01/2013 20:53

oh & by 'god parents' i mean the 2 people we picked to be 'special' at the naming ceremony we had. we are not religious.

OP posts:
Jinsei · 06/01/2013 20:54

If they are just friends and not formal godparents, then yabu, and a bit precious, no matter how close or longstanding the friends are.

Cabrinha · 06/01/2013 20:54

Are they otherwise fulfilling the role they committed to as godparents?

ILoveTIFFANY · 06/01/2013 20:55

So why use the word 'godparents'?

Maybe they are trying to 'back off' a bit?

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